Gidgelette
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? My mother lives in Michigan and I live in Florida
I am my 74 year old mother's sole living relative. She named me beneficiary of her Will but has refused to give me POA or write a Living Will because she claimed to be afraid I'd put her in a nursing home. Yet she supposedly signed herself into a nursing home two weeks ago and I've been able to obtain no information since then. I believe she was delusional when admitted but the hospital social worker said she was not.
She's been ill off and on the past couple years and has spent much time in the hospital. With each admission she becomes delusional to the point that the hospital staff has telephoned me and asked that I petition the court for legal guardianship. Each time, she's recovered within a day or two of them taking her off certain medications. She indicated she wants to move to FL with me and spoke of it with me the day before she was transferred to the nursing home.
With this last hospital admission, no one notified me for more than a week until a woman who's been conning her for money called me. This woman is supposedly my mother's only friend in Michigan and each time my mother is in the hospital she's borrowed money, the last time being $1,000. Anyway, this woman phoned me to tell me the hospital wanted her to sign my mother into a nursing home but she felt that I should do it.
She put my mother on the phone and my mother was completely irrational and delusional--claiming I had 'abandoned' her 30 years ago, that I live next door to her, that she'd just returned from a dog funeral, that the hospital had a Hindu funeral in the room across the hall, etc. Then, my mother stated that she has no daughter and never has. She hung up on me after stating that the hospital administrator had been in her room requesting that she sign over her assets.
The next morning, I discovered that my mother had been transferred to a nursing home and had signed herself in. The hospital social worker claimed that she was completely cognizant.
He also told me that since she claims to have no daughter, that he could not give me any information about her and told me that I would not be notified even if she dies. I have no rights at all, he said. He kept quoting HIPAA law as to why no information can be given.
I understand that.
But they won't even notify me if she dies? How can they not do that? And, I know she's delusional! This is, after all, my mother! The day before her admission to this nursing home we were talking about her moving back to FL to be with me!
Additionally, even though the hospital has previously telephoned me during my mother's previous admissions, this social worker now claims they have no record (dating back to 2003) of my existance or my phone number. This is bizarre.
Plus, he told me that if I petition the Michigan Courts to have my mother declared incompetent, they will name a guardian who is a Michigan resident, not me. And, they will seize her assets and the guardian will control them.
He also stated that she will become a ward of the state if she remains in the nursing home she was transferred to longer than a week or so and all the above will happen.
I don't know what to do. Should I hire an attorney? I can't get any information from the nursing home--not even whether or not she's still there. There's no answer of her phone at home. The hospital administrator told me not to come up there because there's nothing I can do and, in any event, she had specifically requested that no information as to her condition or whereabouts be given to anyone. I have severe heart disease so it isn't easy for me to travel.
I did offer to present copies of my birth certificate (and hers) to prove that she does, indeed, have a daughter but neither the hospital nor the nursing home was interested. They told me it didn't matter--that she claims to have no daughter and said that no info be released to anyone.
I can't believe I won't even be notified if she dies. I have letters and e-mails from her where she's requested that I handle her funeral exactly the way she wants it. I promised her. But how can I do this if I won't be notified if she dies?
It's as if my mother has been kidnapped. I can't find her and I'm beside myself knowing I have no rights at all because she hasn't signed a POA.
Any advice would be appreciated!
Thanks,
Gidgelette
I am my 74 year old mother's sole living relative. She named me beneficiary of her Will but has refused to give me POA or write a Living Will because she claimed to be afraid I'd put her in a nursing home. Yet she supposedly signed herself into a nursing home two weeks ago and I've been able to obtain no information since then. I believe she was delusional when admitted but the hospital social worker said she was not.
She's been ill off and on the past couple years and has spent much time in the hospital. With each admission she becomes delusional to the point that the hospital staff has telephoned me and asked that I petition the court for legal guardianship. Each time, she's recovered within a day or two of them taking her off certain medications. She indicated she wants to move to FL with me and spoke of it with me the day before she was transferred to the nursing home.
With this last hospital admission, no one notified me for more than a week until a woman who's been conning her for money called me. This woman is supposedly my mother's only friend in Michigan and each time my mother is in the hospital she's borrowed money, the last time being $1,000. Anyway, this woman phoned me to tell me the hospital wanted her to sign my mother into a nursing home but she felt that I should do it.
She put my mother on the phone and my mother was completely irrational and delusional--claiming I had 'abandoned' her 30 years ago, that I live next door to her, that she'd just returned from a dog funeral, that the hospital had a Hindu funeral in the room across the hall, etc. Then, my mother stated that she has no daughter and never has. She hung up on me after stating that the hospital administrator had been in her room requesting that she sign over her assets.
The next morning, I discovered that my mother had been transferred to a nursing home and had signed herself in. The hospital social worker claimed that she was completely cognizant.
He also told me that since she claims to have no daughter, that he could not give me any information about her and told me that I would not be notified even if she dies. I have no rights at all, he said. He kept quoting HIPAA law as to why no information can be given.
I understand that.
But they won't even notify me if she dies? How can they not do that? And, I know she's delusional! This is, after all, my mother! The day before her admission to this nursing home we were talking about her moving back to FL to be with me!
Additionally, even though the hospital has previously telephoned me during my mother's previous admissions, this social worker now claims they have no record (dating back to 2003) of my existance or my phone number. This is bizarre.
Plus, he told me that if I petition the Michigan Courts to have my mother declared incompetent, they will name a guardian who is a Michigan resident, not me. And, they will seize her assets and the guardian will control them.
He also stated that she will become a ward of the state if she remains in the nursing home she was transferred to longer than a week or so and all the above will happen.
I don't know what to do. Should I hire an attorney? I can't get any information from the nursing home--not even whether or not she's still there. There's no answer of her phone at home. The hospital administrator told me not to come up there because there's nothing I can do and, in any event, she had specifically requested that no information as to her condition or whereabouts be given to anyone. I have severe heart disease so it isn't easy for me to travel.
I did offer to present copies of my birth certificate (and hers) to prove that she does, indeed, have a daughter but neither the hospital nor the nursing home was interested. They told me it didn't matter--that she claims to have no daughter and said that no info be released to anyone.
I can't believe I won't even be notified if she dies. I have letters and e-mails from her where she's requested that I handle her funeral exactly the way she wants it. I promised her. But how can I do this if I won't be notified if she dies?
It's as if my mother has been kidnapped. I can't find her and I'm beside myself knowing I have no rights at all because she hasn't signed a POA.
Any advice would be appreciated!
Thanks,
Gidgelette
