At some point we have to give some weight to what people actually say.
Giving "some weight" occasionally means that we have to look at what they say and interpret that they really are over their head...
Maybe they're both in the military... Or maybe they have just married and only lived in NC for 1 week... But it could just as easily be the case that she considers the states where they grew up to be their real "home", regardless of where they actually reside. Maybe they come to this interpretation through some logical but misguided means.
For example, there was a state I lived in for 6 years (graduate school), and I was informed a faculty member that for the purposes of tuition, I would always be considered and out of stater, even if I married a resident of that state, purchased a home, and had several kids there. (Kind of irked me, because people who adjusted their immigration status from student visa to PR though the green card lottery wouldn't face this.) And yes, I was registered to vote and had a drivers license in the state I was living in. I could see how someone could interpret this to mean that for LEGAL purposes they were residents of the state they were originally from, although that would be WRONG.
But until OP posts again, clarifying her situation, the only legal advice I'd offer is this: go to a lawyer where you LIVE (NC) for an initial consult to see if you can file there.
