notreadyyet said:
My husband and I are physicaly seperated (not leagaly). I got him to agree in writing to pay all the bills at the adress our child and I are living at until I choose to move. I've been a house wife for a few years, I want to get on my feet again but don't want to lose the resorces he provides in the process of a divorce. I don't know if a legal sep. or divorce will provide me and our child with the means we are used to. He does not want to provide me with any alomony in a divorce, but thinks i'm intitled to his support untill im on my feet. my question is can i refuse a legal seperation or divorce until i feel more secure with my own finacial earnings, and can properly assume how much i will need from him..
My response:
You can't stop a divorce or legal separation if a Petition is filed. If one spouse wants "out", then it will be ordered.
However, a court will always award spousal support in an amount that will keep the family in a manner to which it has become accustomed.
But, depending upon the length of your marriage, that length will determine how long that Alimony will last. In California, for example, the length that Alimony lasts, on average, is half of the total years of the marriage.
Also, the length of time is dependent upon the education and work experience (among other factors) of the receiving spouse.
Alimony allotments are meant to be used to allow a spouse enough time for job training, or to get back to their level of income capacity as it was prior to the marriage. It is not to be used for becoming a "couch potato"; because, if not used wisely, as it was intended, that Alimony will very soon come to an abrupt end, with no going back for more.
These are, of course, only generalizations because, in the end, a lot of this depends on your actual situation and the judge you get.
Good luck to you.
IAAL
