Do I need to go to court or can we do this ourselves

[April7625]

Recently my boyfriend and I have seperated. We have a two yr old daughter that he is now saying he never really wanted. He has three other children besides our daughter and is planning on keeping the two children he has custody of. But he is telling me now that he does not want our daughter calling him daddy and he will try to come and visit her at least once a year. I don't want to force him because he will only become resentful towards our daughter and I really don't want that. He has agreed that if I am to meet anyone that he will be willing to allow them to adopt her if that is what I want. I want to know if he is willing if he can terminate his parental rights now and have her take on my madien name without having a judge decide. He is really serious about this and said as long as I take care of everything then he will agree. I really don't want him to do this but if he is unwilling to care for her then I really don't see the point of him remaining on the birth certificate.

 

[Grace_Adler]

He can try to give up his parental rights if he wants but he'll still have to pay CS. There is no gaurantee that the judge would say ok. Of course if you agree he probably could but that means you can't ever go after him for child support unless you had a really really good reason. If you meet someone else and they want to adopt that will also terminate CS. He can't get his name taken off the birth certificate that I know of unless he does a paternity test and it proves him not to be the father. You don't have to force him to see your child. But he helped create her and he's responsible for her whether he likes it or not. Sounds like he's trying to weasel his way out of everything now. Don't let him bully you. He has no custody, which if I were you I'd go file for custody and child support. You call the shots on visitation until he files for it. So if you don't want him to visit he can't. Not until an order is set up. Did he sign an affadavit of paternity? If he did there is no way he can have her name changed..not that he can now either nor have his removed unless he didn't sign the affadavit and a DNA test says he's not the father. Hope this helps.