DO I OWE SOON 2B EX FOR CHILD SUPPORT PAID BY HIM NOW THAT HE IS EXCLUDED AS BIO DAD?

[LORIAMBER]

I just found out that my soon to be ex husband is not the biological father of my child. Do I owe him any or all of the child support he has paid to me over the 1 1/2 year (aprox. $17, 000.00)? We were not married when the child was concieved or at her birth (10-98). We married 3 months later. At her birth he signed her birth certificate and a declartion of paternity. We live in California. when I told him I was pregant with his child, I did so with "good-faith". I assumed him to be her bio dad becasue he was the only man I was with without any protection at that time?
Basically, will he be able to sue me for payements recieved??????

 

[LegalBeagle]

I just found out that my soon to be ex husband is not the biological father of my child. Do I owe him any or all of the child support he has paid to me over the 1 1/2 year (aprox. $17, 000.00)? We were not married when the child was concieved or at her birth (10-98). We married 3 months later. At her birth he signed her birth certificate and a declartion of paternity. We live in California. when I told him I was pregant with his child, I did so with "good-faith". I assumed him to be her bio dad becasue he was the only man I was with without any protection at that time?
Basically, will he be able to sue me for payements recieved??????

No, because he signed a declaration of paternity. He did not have to and it was his choice. Legally, he is now the father until the child reaches 18. Was he court ordered to pay CS ? What has happened since?

 

[LORIAMBER]

This all occured in alameda county. The judge said that he would stop support on the 27th if my soon 2b ex was exclude, can he legally do that??? Should I let him know that my soon 2b ex signed the declaration. The only reason why im oppossed to stopping cgild support is actually beacuse my soon 2b ex is trying to get my home that was bought after we seperated, and heis using the law on his side, so can I use the law on my side in this case????

 

[sassy123]

The real question is do you really want to have him support your child when you have a obligation to find the other father? He signed the birth certificate under the assumption that he was the father. Now he is found not to be, should he have to pay because he was led to believe he was. He has a legal issue that a judge should stop child support. If a DNA test can reveal and exclude a prisoner from any crime and then release him then it should apply here. If you are worried about the child support then you should go after the true father and make him pay back the first then start to pay you. Or maybe he should put a lien against you later in life when you can pay him back. This is certainly a messed up world we live in. If he were to have asked for a DNA test at the birth of your child what would your reaction have been? Now you want to know if you can use the law to fight against him. Take this one to Jerry Springer and see if he will pay you for your story cause that's pretty pathetic.

 

[LORIAMBER]

I agree that it is pathetic, and I do intend on telling her bio dad that he is the father of her. im just trying to spare my home at this point. This man assaulted me and broke my cheekbone resulting in plastic surgery, I filed for a divorce, and 13 months later he responds to the petition and wants 1/2 my house because it was acquired during our marriage although i bought it after we were seperated for 13 months. I do not want him to pay support, however i do not wish to be homeless. I also do not beleieve i owe him the money beacuse i acted in good faith...we both were dating other people at the time she was concieved and we both assumed that he was the dad. in addittion i never sued him for the assualt which caused me 2 surguries and lost work and many medical bills. i just want to save my home. If he can back off my house, than I will not have him pay. whats fair is fair. I bought my house without his money and after we were sepertaed and it should be mine!!! this baby is is not his and he should not have to pay.. I just need some legal leverge in keeping my home, and this may be where i can find it.

I asked for advice, not slander!!!!

 

[sassy123]

Who slandered you? You stated in your first thread that you had no other sexual relationship with out protection. Apparently you were either lying? or you had a mis-hap with your protection? Either way you did not explain this in your first or second threads about anything you stated in your third thread. If the laws in your state say that even though you are seperated, marital property is still considered equal property than you have to get over the fact that you bought this and you bought that? He will be entitled to anything you have and will get half because if that's the law, IT'S THE LAW!! If a woman stays at home and does not pay one cent for the home she lives in, the car she drives, and the bank account full of money, she is still considered to have contributed to the whole of the marriage and will get half of everything that was obtained during the marriage. If California actually states that once a "Legal Separation" occurs and both parties are not contributing to each other's assets from that point farther then you are safe only if you show that it was purchased after. There is some advice, and here is another, Get a lawyer and a free consultation.

 

[thestepmom]

I am a little confussed here. 1. You don't sue him for braking you face, but you do want to sue him for child support when that wasn't his fault?
2. Why should he pay child support for a child that is not his, and everyone knows it is not his?
3. Just because he wants half your house doesn't mean he should pay child support. You should go back and read your posts, becuase I think you will reconsider wanting to sue him for child support.

 

[LORIAMBER]

I am not suing him for child support, he is court ordered to pay it and has been since may 99. Since he signed a declaration of paternity at the time of her birth, he has to pay it until she is 18. I was wondering if he could sue me for the money in the future. the house is another issue in itself. the house was bought 13 months after we seperated, and beacuse of misunderstandings I didnt realize we were still married after I filed a petition for divorce. Im just getting scared that he may be able to have a share in my home that was purchased 13 months after we were seperated. Im desperate at this point to save my house!!!!!!! Im only trying to see where I have legal leverge. I don not feel he should continue to pay child support gor a child that is not his, however I do not beleive he should have 1/2 my house that he didnt purchase. If the law says that just beacuse he is my husband, althought we were seperated and the money for the down payment of my home came from my parents, he still gets 1/2 of my house....than I beleive that I should get child support beacause he signed the delacration of paternity and acknowledged he was her father at her birth. Logically....he shouldnt have to pay , nor should he get 1/2 my house. I just want to save my house and im begining to get creative on how thr law can help me keep it. If I could have my way... . I would not take child support from him, and he would not get my 1/2 my house. I belive the $17, 000.00 that he has already paid in child support could just break even with the damage he caused to me finically, emtionally and physically when he assaulted me.

 

[sassy123]

You are really confused. You say that you want to use the law to be creative to keep your house. You also say that he is responsible to pay for your daughter and some other guy's! The judge will make his determination soon and then you will still have the issue of the house to contend with. If you BOUGHT the house and california has laws pertaining to marital property and he is entitled, then you will lose. Even if he was the Boston strangler and you bought a house while trying to divorce from him, He will get half. If you say that you will use the child support to punish him for beating you up then that's pathetic. You need to get a grip and see a lawyer and get the scoop on marital property. If he wins the dismissal of the child support then he will in all likely hood go after your house next. Is the reason he beat you up is because he found out you had a child and made him believe that it was his? Just pray that he doesn't see these posts because he will have enough to get alot more than just the house. He could ask for sanctions against you because you are trying to deceive the courts with your antics. You will get no sympathy here because we are all trying to get real issues established and reactions and opinions. Alot of people are reading this one and shaking their head at the way you are trying to manipulate the circumstances. For all we know you could be the person that is trying to rip off the system and make another pay for your mistakes.

 

[lindsayilene]

I will not judge you.
As LB said, your soon to be ex is responsible for child support until the child reaches 18.
I believe that if you locate the bio father, the situation can be changed so that he pays through adoption.
I have no idea what to tell you in regards to your house.

 

[LORIAMBER]

SASSY.... you dont get it . im sure its bacause its sooo confusing. Read my qustion under the Divorce Forum and u will know anout my house. The house and the kid are two sepoearate issues!!!! He beat me up beacuse his girkfriend called and I told her he was married, and he got upset. When my child was concieved I was single and dating two people, one of which I reguarly had unprotected sex with, the other was always with a condom. I assumed it was his child and so did he. There were no doubts except that he no longer wanted to pay support to us and decieded to do DNA to figure out a way to get out of paying. He is a very munipulativre man, and im afraid im going to get screwed in reagard to my home. I guess its a lesson in sleeping with individuals who you do not intend on having kids with ,and also that no sex is the only real safe sex. Im not ashamed if he reads these posts beacuse i have nothing to hide. I beleive the house is mine!!!! I dont want his house, he shouldnt want mine!!!! If im ordered to pay him back the child support he has alreay paid, i will however i feel as though we both assumed the child was his. wewere both seeing other people at that time, and we acted as though he were her father. it is just as much his fault as it is mine!!!!!!! If he had doubts he shouldnt have signed the declaartion of paternity when she was born, but he did!!!!! beavcuse he had no doubts. The bio dad has beencontacted and wants to meet her and support her. He has asked if he could pay my ex back howerver, im not paying him back and giving him half my house when 90% of the down came from my parents and I pay the mortgage monthly. im not trying to get back at thisman, tarp him or anything elses i want to be left alone and leave this awful chapter of my life behind. My child is 2 and hasnt seen him in 1 1/2 year, she doesnt even know him. I just want to be left alone....WITH MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.
if sassy is right, that people are reading my post and shaking their heads.... All I have to say is sorry ...not for what i've done or been through, but that this is my real life and I'm sorry that it bothers you.
Ive learned alot over the year and will not repeat any of the same mistakes that ive done so far. That shouldbe good enough!!!!

 

[sassy123]

I guess i don't understand. You stated "The only reason why im oppossed to stopping child support is actually because my soon 2b ex is trying to get my home that was bought after we seperated, and he is using the law on his side, so can I use the law on my side in this case????" And the reason you want to try to do a end run on your ex is "The judge said that he would stop support on the 27th if my soon 2b ex was exclude, can he legally do that???" I again say that if he is not the father but he thought he was then why should he have to pay. In regards to your house, yeah he's probably all you said, but when it comes to the law, It is blind. Look at the symbol of justice and you will see carries a scale that shows equality. You are going to lose part of your house upon a technicality and it only shows that justice is blind. You haven't said in this post that you are obtaining legal counsel so i hope that you are. I hope he would have said that the house that he owns is legally half yours also if it was purchased during your marriage. If he purchased before than that could be a different story. If your divorce is contested in court than you will probably be asked similair questions or worse during examination from his lawyer if he has one. I know that your quotes are out of context but other readers can look through the past strings to read it all.