curiouscat623
Member
What is the name of your state? PA
In Oct. of last year my son's mother (we were never married), sent my son (5)to live with my fiance, our infant son, and myself. She stated reasons of not being able to handle him, the fact that she lives in a bad neighborhood, and that he was having a lot of problems in school. I have this all in writing from emails that she wrote. Even last week she wrote an email, stating that sending our son to live with me was 'her idea.' I immediately registered him in kindergarten, and anyone can tell you that he's been flourishing in his new school. Then last week, before he was scheduled to go to her house for a weekend visit she says that she's not bringing him back. So I didn't send him, and I contacted a lawyer who drafted a custody agreement, detailing everything exactly as it is now. He advised me to not send my son to her house since he was in danger of being kept there, and there is no court order stating that I have to send him. My daughter, who lives with her mother (3 yrs ), has been withheld from me since that point. We've never had any kind of custody agreement/order.
She said that she would sign, but then the next day went down to domestic relations and filed for custody of both children. She told me verbally over the phone that she needed money. She's on disability for bipolar disorder. She takes lithium for her mental disorder. She takes a morphine patch for some kind of back problem, and i have years of answering machine tapes were she typically says something along the lines of "these are my f'ing kids, and you will never ever see them again..."..and things to that nature. My fiancee and myself pressed charges against her for simple assault in 2 seperate incidents, and my fiance has a police report on file from her calling our house and making terroristic threats against her. She called Children and Youth on herself 2 years ago, and told them that she couldn't handle the kids. They put her in counseling and have paid for her daycare for 2 years. Though she stopped that, this week, presumably because of all of this stuff. She also stopped attending counseling, and taking her medications, claiming that her caseworker told her that she didn't need help anymore. haha. Funny she's 'well enough' to raise children, but not to hold down any kind of job. I can document that she didn't take my son to dr's and dentist apts. An initial court date was set for April. I'm assuming at that date, the court will see that we don't agree, that we both want the children, and then the evaluations, etc. will start. She has no idea how costly this is going to be, and how arduous a process. She thinks that when we go to court in April that the judge will decide then and there. She has no lawyer, and if she does get one, it will be through legal aid.
My question is this. I have desperately wanted both of my children to live with me and my family since this whole mess happened. But I could never tell her that because she would have used to to her advantage and held it against me. Now that I'm in this scenerio, where I tried to be reasonable, and keep things the way that they are, but make it official to protect both of us. I don't think that she has any idea that I've been documenting her antics for years. She has no idea what she'll hear about herself when we're in court. She has nothing against me, except that I'm an alcoholic who's been sober, and regularly attending AA for 5 years. I've never once called her house and left nasty messages, or any kind of emails or anything. I've always (prior to the order being vacated when i got my son) paid my child support on time, and spent regular weekends with my kids.
I know that no one can predict the future here. But does anyone have an idea of how good my chances are of at least not losing my son? I can document everything that I've said above. I know that getting my daughter is going to be a long shot, but I also know that courts don't like to seperate siblings. But then again, I know that courts tend to favor the mother. But that they also tend to favor the status quo.
In Oct. of last year my son's mother (we were never married), sent my son (5)to live with my fiance, our infant son, and myself. She stated reasons of not being able to handle him, the fact that she lives in a bad neighborhood, and that he was having a lot of problems in school. I have this all in writing from emails that she wrote. Even last week she wrote an email, stating that sending our son to live with me was 'her idea.' I immediately registered him in kindergarten, and anyone can tell you that he's been flourishing in his new school. Then last week, before he was scheduled to go to her house for a weekend visit she says that she's not bringing him back. So I didn't send him, and I contacted a lawyer who drafted a custody agreement, detailing everything exactly as it is now. He advised me to not send my son to her house since he was in danger of being kept there, and there is no court order stating that I have to send him. My daughter, who lives with her mother (3 yrs ), has been withheld from me since that point. We've never had any kind of custody agreement/order.
She said that she would sign, but then the next day went down to domestic relations and filed for custody of both children. She told me verbally over the phone that she needed money. She's on disability for bipolar disorder. She takes lithium for her mental disorder. She takes a morphine patch for some kind of back problem, and i have years of answering machine tapes were she typically says something along the lines of "these are my f'ing kids, and you will never ever see them again..."..and things to that nature. My fiancee and myself pressed charges against her for simple assault in 2 seperate incidents, and my fiance has a police report on file from her calling our house and making terroristic threats against her. She called Children and Youth on herself 2 years ago, and told them that she couldn't handle the kids. They put her in counseling and have paid for her daycare for 2 years. Though she stopped that, this week, presumably because of all of this stuff. She also stopped attending counseling, and taking her medications, claiming that her caseworker told her that she didn't need help anymore. haha. Funny she's 'well enough' to raise children, but not to hold down any kind of job. I can document that she didn't take my son to dr's and dentist apts. An initial court date was set for April. I'm assuming at that date, the court will see that we don't agree, that we both want the children, and then the evaluations, etc. will start. She has no idea how costly this is going to be, and how arduous a process. She thinks that when we go to court in April that the judge will decide then and there. She has no lawyer, and if she does get one, it will be through legal aid.
My question is this. I have desperately wanted both of my children to live with me and my family since this whole mess happened. But I could never tell her that because she would have used to to her advantage and held it against me. Now that I'm in this scenerio, where I tried to be reasonable, and keep things the way that they are, but make it official to protect both of us. I don't think that she has any idea that I've been documenting her antics for years. She has no idea what she'll hear about herself when we're in court. She has nothing against me, except that I'm an alcoholic who's been sober, and regularly attending AA for 5 years. I've never once called her house and left nasty messages, or any kind of emails or anything. I've always (prior to the order being vacated when i got my son) paid my child support on time, and spent regular weekends with my kids.
I know that no one can predict the future here. But does anyone have an idea of how good my chances are of at least not losing my son? I can document everything that I've said above. I know that getting my daughter is going to be a long shot, but I also know that courts don't like to seperate siblings. But then again, I know that courts tend to favor the mother. But that they also tend to favor the status quo.