Do I still need a legal divorce?

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What is the name of your state? Oklahoma: I met a guy in 1993 or 1994 and we went to Sturgis, S.D. in 1995 in August for the Motorcycle Rally. One of his friends were there also and claimed to be an Ordained Minister. So re performed a simple ceremony. His brother and girlfirend was there and had a form for me to sign from my last name to his last name. I used the form to get my Driver's liscense and Social Security card changed to that last name. We never filed anything at the courthouse. He refused. He became close friends to a woman at his work place. We then decided to go our seperate ways in 1999.
We don't see each other any more or talk to each other any more. As far as I know he has a new girlfriend and I have a new boyfriend I have been living with for 6 years. I'm still stuck with a last name I don't want and I'm affraid to become legally married or anything else to anyone else. Are we still legally married or what? What shall I do?
I would like to continue on with my life.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Oklahoma: I met a guy in 1993 or 1994 and we went to Sturgis, S.D. in 1995 in August for the Motorcycle Rally. One of his friends were there also and claimed to be an Ordained Minister. So re performed a simple ceremony. His brother and girlfirend was there and had a form for me to sign from my last name to his last name. I used the form to get my Driver's liscense and Social Security card changed to that last name. We never filed anything at the courthouse. He refused. He became close friends to a woman at his work place. We then decided to go our seperate ways in 1999.
We don't see each other any more or talk to each other any more. As far as I know he has a new girlfriend and I have a new boyfriend I have been living with for 6 years. I'm still stuck with a last name I don't want and I'm affraid to become legally married or anything else to anyone else. Are we still legally married or what? What shall I do?
I would like to continue on with my life.

You may be legally married. Generally it takes a copy of the marriage certificate/license to change your name with the SSA. Therefore I think its likely that you are legally married. Get a consult with a local attorney. It may be easier than you think to get divorced.

 

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Re: Do I still need a divorce?

My other concern is that I don't have any money for to get a divorce. I lost my job over a year ago and shortly after that I lost my vehicle. My boyfriend and I are very much stressed at trying to find transportation anywhere. We live out in the middle of nowhere just about and he has a job at temporary services but we are just barely getting by with what he makes. He rides to work with his brother but that becomes a pain. Have to rely on his brother's schedules. On Saturdays my parents make their way here to take us to buy groceries. We also have to rely on their schedules. Becomes mind boggling and frustrating. I looked at the free forms online but thy required a small fee or a credit card, which I don't have. And I can't borrow the money either. HELP!

 

[LdiJ]

My other concern is that I don't have any money for to get a divorce. I lost my job over a year ago and shortly after that I lost my vehicle. My boyfriend and I are very much stressed at trying to find transportation anywhere. We live out in the middle of nowhere just about and he has a job at temporary services but we are just barely getting by with what he makes. He rides to work with his brother but that becomes a pain. Have to rely on his brother's schedules. On Saturdays my parents make their way here to take us to buy groceries. We also have to rely on their schedules. Becomes mind boggling and frustrating. I looked at the free forms online but thy required a small fee or a credit card, which I don't have. And I can't borrow the money either. HELP!

You are probably going to have to wait until you are in a better financial position to get a divorce.

 

[mistoffolees]

My other concern is that I don't have any money for to get a divorce. I lost my job over a year ago and shortly after that I lost my vehicle. My boyfriend and I are very much stressed at trying to find transportation anywhere. We live out in the middle of nowhere just about and he has a job at temporary services but we are just barely getting by with what he makes. He rides to work with his brother but that becomes a pain. Have to rely on his brother's schedules. On Saturdays my parents make their way here to take us to buy groceries. We also have to rely on their schedules. Becomes mind boggling and frustrating. I looked at the free forms online but thy required a small fee or a credit card, which I don't have. And I can't borrow the money either. HELP!

If you really don't have the money to pay a filing fee, you should go to legal aid and get some assistance. Or see if there's a local law school which allows their students to advise in simple, uncontested cases. Or get a second job. Or give up smoking or motorcycle riding or whatever you do for fun to save the money.

IMHO, you're not doing yourself a favor by letting this slide until you can better afford it. If you find yourself in a better financial position in 2 years, he could come back on you for some of your assets, alimony, whatever.

Just find a way to get it done.