Do They Have Rights???

[littlesnowdove]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Well, I hope I can get an answer here....

My daughter, 16, got pregnant with her EX boyfriend's baby in Jan of this year. He walked out on her in May saying that he couldn't take the stress and that he was in love with another girl. His mother, proceeded to call my daughter a "Whore", and said that there was no way that her son was the father. We had asked this boy on many occasions to go to doctor visits with her, to which he always had an excuse not to go... he went twice. Neither he nor his family have done anything for my daughter during the pregnancy. Now that this child is born, the son and his family want full custody of this baby.... the boy tried to get back with my daughter, but she did not want him back.... The boy's name is NOT on the babies Birth Certificate, has been harassing my daughter for months, and denied that the baby was even his. What are the chances of them getting custody? The boy's mother is writing my daughter on her Facebook account, threatening her.. what do we do??? By the way, the boy is 18, smokes pot, is a high school drop out, has no job, and his family is very abusive and their home is filthy... Please, help....

Teresa M.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Well, I hope I can get an answer here....

My daughter, 16, got pregnant with her EX boyfriend's baby in Jan of this year. He walked out on her in May saying that he couldn't take the stress and that he was in love with another girl. His mother, proceeded to call my daughter a "Whore", and said that there was no way that her son was the father. We had asked this boy on many occasions to go to doctor visits with her, to which he always had an excuse not to go... he went twice. Neither he nor his family have done anything for my daughter during the pregnancy. Now that this child is born, the son and his family want full custody of this baby.... the boy tried to get back with my daughter, but she did not want him back.... The boy's name is NOT on the babies Birth Certificate, has been harassing my daughter for months, and denied that the baby was even his. What are the chances of them getting custody? The boy's mother is writing my daughter on her Facebook account, threatening her.. what do we do??? By the way, the boy is 18, smokes pot, is a high school drop out, has no job, and his family is very abusive and their home is filthy... Please, help....

Teresa M.

The grandparents have no rights to the child just as mom's parents have no rights to the baby. The father can file to have paternity established and file for custody or visitation. Your daughter chose him when she slept with him so for the next 18 years that man will be the father to her child. She needs to realize if he files he will be part of this childs life. Until then, he has no rights.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Well, I hope I can get an answer here....

My daughter, 16, got pregnant with her EX boyfriend's baby in Jan of this year. He walked out on her in May saying that he couldn't take the stress and that he was in love with another girl. His mother, proceeded to call my daughter a "Whore", and said that there was no way that her son was the father. We had asked this boy on many occasions to go to doctor visits with her, to which he always had an excuse not to go... he went twice. Neither he nor his family have done anything for my daughter during the pregnancy. Now that this child is born, the son and his family want full custody of this baby.... the boy tried to get back with my daughter, but she did not want him back.... The boy's name is NOT on the babies Birth Certificate, has been harassing my daughter for months, and denied that the baby was even his. What are the chances of them getting custody? The boy's mother is writing my daughter on her Facebook account, threatening her.. what do we do??? By the way, the boy is 18, smokes pot, is a high school drop out, has no job, and his family is very abusive and their home is filthy... Please, help....

Teresa M.

As long as paternity has not been legally established in a court of law, your daughter's child has no legal father. Your daughter is under no obligation to communicate with these people whatsoever.

She should block the woman on Facebook and completely ignore her. Until she is served with a court summons she should just ignore it all.

I do have to tell you in all honesty though, your daughter chose this boy as the father of her baby. If and when he takes this matter before a judge and is legally declared the father, he will get visitation, and your daughter shoud ask for support.

 

[janM]

Do they have rights? NO.
Even "dad" has none, until he or your daughter files for paternity (DNA), support and parenting time.

He had no obligation to attend any appointments, or provide any kind of support to her before or after the birth without a court order establishing him as Dad. Once he is, and he has court-ordered parenting time, he can take baby around his family, unless Mom can prove any of them are a danger to the baby.

For now, Mom doesn't have to let him see baby, legally. She can ignore them all, for now, if she wishes.

ETA: Ditto what the others said!

 

[littlesnowdove]

"I do have to tell you in all honesty though, your daughter chose this boy as the father of her baby."

Well, my daughter was told by our family doctor that she was not going to be able to get pregnant because she apparently was not ovulating... so she did NOT choose him, it happened, and she WAS using condoms, as the boy has a history of getting around, and he did not withdraw properly, thus, a child was conceived....

I appreciate all the advice I am being given, and we have blocked this boy and his mother from writing to her again... Plus, as I told my daughter, IF they so choose to do a DNA test and they DO get visitation rights, that she has the right to go after him for child support until the baby is 18....

So, thank you, and please, continue with the advice, it is greatly needed and appreciated.

Teresa

 

[ecmst12]

She has the right to file for child support regardless. If she ever receives any state aid, the state will go after him whether she likes it or not.

The child has a right to know its father and some day he or she will ask about him. Regardless of whether she intended to get pregnant or not, it happened and nothing can change that. If it goes to court, he will get some type of visitation, so she might as well get used to the idea. It is very likely that she will be co-parenting with this guy for the next 18 years...they need to learn to get along.

 

[Proserpina]

"I do have to tell you in all honesty though, your daughter chose this boy as the father of her baby."

Well, my daughter was told by our family doctor that she was not going to be able to get pregnant because she apparently was not ovulating... so she did NOT choose him, it happened, and she WAS using condoms, as the boy has a history of getting around, and he did not withdraw properly, thus, a child was conceived....

She chose to have sex.

Sex = change of pregnancy, regardless.

Yes, she did choose - this is not a slur against your daughter or anyone else but it needs to be accepted. Nobody is saying it was intentional, but the risk was certainly a choice.

 

[stealth2]

"I do have to tell you in all honesty though, your daughter chose this boy as the father of her baby."

Well, my daughter was told by our family doctor that she was not going to be able to get pregnant because she apparently was not ovulating... so she did NOT choose him, it happened, and she WAS using condoms, as the boy has a history of getting around, and he did not withdraw properly, thus, a child was conceived....

And I would be willing to bet that his story would be that she "tricked" him by telling him she couldn't get pregnant. Also, you're very willing to point to his reputation - what about your daughter's? Is she *also* known for getting around? See how easy it is to point fingers?

Why didn't you tell her that these things are never a 100% guarantee? Surely, by the time a person is old enough to have a sexually active teen, s/he should realize that doctors are fallible and sometimes people who are told that they can't conceive, do.

 

[dannyt]

his family has no rights

"I do have to tell you in all honesty though, your daughter chose this boy as the father of her baby."

Well, my daughter was told by our family doctor that she was not going to be able to get pregnant because she apparently was not ovulating... so she did NOT choose him, it happened, and she WAS using condoms, as the boy has a history of getting around, and he did not withdraw properly, thus, a child was conceived....

I appreciate all the advice I am being given, and we have blocked this boy and his mother from writing to her again... Plus, as I told my daughter, IF they so choose to do a DNA test and they DO get visitation rights, that she has the right to go after him for child support until the baby is 18....

So, thank you, and please, continue with the advice, it is greatly needed and appreciated.

Teresa

the father is the only one who can get visitation rights, pay child support,or get a dna test-his family has no legal standing at all where the baby is concerned.

 

[agg1204]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Well, I hope I can get an answer here...

My daughter, 16, got pregnant with her EX boyfriend's baby in Jan of this year. He walked out on her in May saying that he couldn't take the stress and that he was in love with another girl. His mother, proceeded to call my daughter a "Whore", and said that there was no way that her son was the father. We had asked this boy on many occasions to go to doctor visits with her, to which he always had an excuse not to go... he went twice. Neither he nor his family have done anything for my daughter during the pregnancy. Now that this child is born, the son and his family want full custody of this baby.... the boy tried to get back with my daughter, but she did not want him back.... The boy's name is NOT on the babies Birth Certificate, has been harassing my daughter for months, and denied that the baby was even his. What are the chances of them getting custody? The boy's mother is writing my daughter on her Facebook account, threatening her.. what do we do??? By the way, the boy is 18, smokes pot, is a high school drop out, has no job, and his family is very abusive and their home is filthy... Please, help....

Teresa M.

[/QUOTE]


So I have a few questions,

On the Whore issue did you personally hear the mother of the boy call her that? And on the face book issue, did you see these things and print them off for evidence? What is the boy's mother writing on her Facebook account? What is your definition of harrassing? Is your daughter allowing the boy to see they baby any at all?He is trying to step up correct if he is filing for custody/visitatin. Have you been to their home, what do you mean by filthy ? So do you feel that the boy should not have any rights to his child?? Did you personally have a conversation with this boy's mother where she said this was not her son's child?

 

[Zigner]

By the way, the boy is 18, smokes pot, is a high school drop out, has no job, and his family is very abusive and their home is filthy...

Well - it certainly seems that you've instilled a great value system in your daughter in her choice of sexual partners...

 

[Zigner]

And, your daughter did CHOOSE to have this baby and to have this man be the father...

She COULD have chosen abortion.


Not a popular option, but definitely a legal one.

 

[Proserpina]

the father is the only one who can get visitation rights, pay child support,or get a dna test-his family has no legal standing at all where the baby is concerned.

Except that in Illinois the grandparents can indeed petition for visitation rights.

 

[Zigner]

Except that in Illinois the grandparents can indeed petition for visitation rights.

Please cite the law that would allow the grandparents to have a chance at visitation in THIS situation.

ETA: Please disregard - for some stupid reason, I got it stuck in my head that the baby wasn't born yet when I posted this.

 

[Proserpina]

Please cite the law that would allow the grandparents to have a chance at visitation in THIS situation.

ETA: Please disregard - for some stupid reason, I got it stuck in my head that the baby wasn't born yet when I posted this.

I have chocolate-covered coffee beans if they'll help