Do we have custody at all?

[ihacksaw]

My wife and I have been married for a little over a year now. We have a 11 month old son and I have a 4 year old step son that belongs to my wife. Since he was born she has had him with no court order, custody, or arguments. He does pays support and they were never married. He calls and sees him only when we call and say do you know your son is alive? 6 months ago we moved from Washington State to Iowa where the crime is real low and the education is one of the best. We told the father and he said he couldn't stop us if he wanted to. ( I know he could have if he wanted) We didn't go to court about this either or talk to a lawyer. We want to go back to Washington to visit family and so he can see his dad but I was told by rumors that when we go back the dad was going to take him and not give him back. (this is only because my 4 year olds grandmother wants him) Even though the dad isn't a very caring dad I still feels he deserves to see his son and vise versa. Anyways to get to the question... Can he take him and not give him back until we go to court or do we have some kind of right? I don't want to play these games that I have heard about.

Please any help would be gratful.

 

[matthewray]

I believe he can because there is no court order stating paternity or custody...Here in California anyway. I'm going through this with the mother of my children she took them and move 50 miles away and say's that I can't see them...I called the local authority to meet me at the house and they told me all they can do is keep the peace nothing else with out court orders. I went to court and we got temporary orders but I'm fighting for custody so it's dragging on...Look into it before you go because if it does happen think of the trauma the child is going to go through...It happened to my two sons...I spend a lot of time with them before the mother and I broke up and knowing this she kept them away from me it really hurt them...It's all through the court system...Good Luck...Matthewray
There's no love like the unconditonal love of a mother and father...

[Edited by matthewray on 05-23-2001 at 12:44 PM]

 

[MySonsMom]

Yes, he *could*. My suggestion.... after you meet residency requirements in Iowa, file for custody. I probably wouldn't allow any unsupervised visits with the Father until the custody suit is over with.

Good luck!

 

[janM]

mom should have custody

I don't know if there are complications about the move, but I would think that if you informed the father about the move and he didn't try to stop you, that you did everything right in that respect. I know that here in Ohio, if a couple is not married, the child is automatically in the custody of the mother (that is the case with my son's boy although she has asked the court to give custody to my son). And I'm thinking that if there are no court orders as far as support or visitation, he has no legal claim to the child but I don't know what your state is like. I would hope that if he kept the child he would be breaking some kind of law. By all means consult an attorney to make sure.

 

[cott2]

GET FULL CUSTODY!!!

Hi ,I live in Va.I know here if neither parent has custody and one takes off with the child then there is nothing the other parent can do about it.I learned this when my ex and I split up and I went to file for full custody and was told that anyone can file for custody of a child(even JOE BLOW)if neither parent has it.A grandparent can also file.You need to get yourself established in your new state and file right away.Did you notify him by letter that you were moving or what?Because here if you don't have something in writing or legalized the other parent can say they never knew about it and depending on the situation,he can have charges brought against you.Don't leave the child alone with him or his family,keep that child right by your side until you have legal custody.Good luck.I'm not a lawyer but I'm a mom.

 

[ihacksaw]

Re: GET FULL CUSTODY!!!

Hi ,I live in Va.I know here if neither parent has custody and one takes off with the child then there is nothing the other parent can do about it.I learned this when my ex and I split up and I went to file for full custody and was told that anyone can file for custody of a child(even JOE BLOW)if neither parent has it.A grandparent can also file.You need to get yourself established in your new state and file right away.Did you notify him by letter that you were moving or what?Because here if you don't have something in writing or legalized the other parent can say they never knew about it and depending on the situation,he can have charges brought against you.Don't leave the child alone with him or his family,keep that child right by your side until you have legal custody.Good luck.I'm not a lawyer but I'm a mom.

Thank you for the post we are working on it now. We did tell the dad about 2 months before we left.

;>

 

[ihacksaw]

Thank you everyone for your replies we are working on it now. I wish you all luck with your issues as well.

Jason
;>

 

[daniel123456]

my friends,i am a divorced father of which have been the victim of the so called compelling governmental intrests,the response that i would have to give,based upon my personel evaluation of court cases,as i see it,california law gives extrem discretion to the mother,when she chooses to exercise that discrection,when ascerted in a case involving that a father wished to except parenthood,after their relationship became insolved{they were not married to eachother}but she was in a binding marriage,with another man.the california law gave her the discrection to choose the father,even though the real father consented to a parental test,the mother refused,and the court found that the father,though he was excepting the financial responsibilities,the morals of the california law was conflicting,because it was contrary to its own purpose,because the california law was to provide with support to the families being kept togeather,not to disolve the family in which the women had not been legally seperated,therefor,i would be in favor,that the court would recognize that the father had faild to ascert any parental rights,and if he were to keep the child,he would in fact be orderd to return the child.in either case scenario,i would go to the home state in which you,and the child resides,and ask for custody,based on youve been the supporter of the youths and have excepted the responsibilities.,{i beleive?}if anything try to get temporary custody befor travelling to his home state,otherwise the rules of law governing the father,and if the child was in the fathers home state then the fathers home state would have exclusive juristiction.good luck,and to all,no matter how hopeless,or oppressed you may be,remember this nation is a nation of,for,and by the people.not an attorney,please seek advice from an attorney,or search for simular case laws.as i am indignant,and have no law credentials,but note,hopefully i will soon present a case,that will be excepted to the us.supreme court,and in my case will have a substantial impact on all child-suport,and enforcement cases in the future,as it is my intentions to allow the true fair representation to all faucets,and areas regarding the protection for all parties true reciprical,for mutal benefits.

[Edited by daniel123456 on 05-28-2001 at 11:44 PM]