does the father's rights change if the baby has his last name?

[kalif]

What is the name of your state? NC

My girlfriend and I are expected to have a baby in December. We have only been together for 4 months. She feels that she can not trust me at this time. She is affraid that if we give the baby my last name that I would be able to take the baby away from her. It is really important to me that my child carries my last name. I feel I would want my child to have my name for my dignity. I want to marry her, but she says she is not ready for that yet. Is it true that if the baby takes my last name that I would have more rights to my child, and that I would be able to take the baby away from her? I was hoping that this is not the case so that she will not have to worry about my taking the child away from her if the child was in my name. Does anyone have any information so that my girlfriend can be reinsured that I will not be able to take the baby away from her?

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state? NC

My girlfriend and I are expected to have a baby in December. We have only been together for 4 months. She feels that she can not trust me at this time. She is affraid that if we give the baby my last name that I would be able to take the baby away from her. It is really important to me that my child carries my last name. I feel I would want my child to have my name for my dignity. I want to marry her, but she says she is not ready for that yet. Is it true that if the baby takes my last name that I would have more rights to my child, and that I would be able to take the baby away from her? I was hoping that this is not the case so that she will not have to worry about my taking the child away from her if the child was in my name. Does anyone have any information so that my girlfriend can be reinsured that I will not be able to take the baby away from her?

Q: Is it true that if the baby takes my last name that I would have more rights to my child, and that I would be able to take the baby away from her?

A: No.

 

[Halls]

Look, it doesn't matter if the child has your last to have rights to the baby. I'm not saying the baby shouldn't have your last name, just that it won't matter.

You obviously have a dilema which sounds more emotional at the moment. Why doesn't your g/f want to marry you? She obviously doesn't trust you right now. WHY? Think about that and hopefully y'all can work all this out.

 

[LdiJ]

She does however have the legal right to give the baby whatever last name she pleases. You can challenge that later on in court if necessary, and you may or may not win, but she does have that right.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Why is she afraid that you will take the baby from you? Is there a possibility that the baby isn't yours? THe name the baby is given doesn't determin parental rights, both parents signing an acknowledgement of paternity after the child is born, starts the process of the putative father having rights, established your intent to determine paternity or seek parental rights, filing a paternity action, which can be done without her permission then the court orders a DNA test.... These are all things that relate to parents seeking parental rights more than a name, the baby could be named "King ofthe World" and it doesn't mean you are not the father, or have any rights, that is a different process.

If she is due in December and you are only together 4 months, it sounds like she may be worried it is someone elses child or there is a quesiton of fitness but now is not the time to stress her out. There is always time to establish parental rights or change names later. But if she has substance abuse problems, she needs to stop that now and not endanger the baby. If you are worried that she might flee with your baby, if it is your baby, register with the putative father's registery or file a paternity suit and a judge will order a paternity test to be given after the child is born, to determin if you are the father, then you may petition for other parental rights such as some form of custody, child support, visitation depending on the situation. Establishing paternity in and of it's self does not esablish custody (sole, joint legal, joint residential, shared custody). If you both sign an AOP there is usually a period of time in which to ask the court for a DNA test or to recind. NC has some other possibilities such as providing for the baby's support voluntarily before the child is born, keep records and so forth here is a link with some basic informaiton.
https://www.nc-childsupport.com/ABCs/paternity.htm

 

[tiki101]

It doesn't matter which last name you give the baby, if the child is yours then you will have the same rights as the child's mother regardless of the last name. If she does choose not to give the baby your last name, you may be able to take her to court to request the name change. I went through the same situation myself and the judge in my case said that in order for the name to be changed you need to be able to prove why it's in the best intrest of the child. Pretty much you need to be able to prove why the child would benefit from having your last name as opposed to having the mother's last name which is going to be very hard to prove. I am not sure how it goes for case when there is a divorce involved. My case was just a custody/parenting time since we were never married. Maybe if you guys sit down and discuss all the issues you have now before the baby comes you can reach a compromise. What about a hyphened last name? What about you last name as the middle name or vice versa? I hope you guys can work it all. It's better to get all the issues just out there and discussed now before the baby comes because once that baby gets here the situation might be to late to mend and your stuck dealing with the mom for the next 18 years.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state? NC

My girlfriend and I are expected to have a baby in December. We have only been together for 4 months. She feels that she can not trust me at this time. She is affraid that if we give the baby my last name that I would be able to take the baby away from her. It is really important to me that my child carries my last name. I feel I would want my child to have my name for my dignity. I want to marry her, but she says she is not ready for that yet. Is it true that if the baby takes my last name that I would have more rights to my child, and that I would be able to take the baby away from her? I was hoping that this is not the case so that she will not have to worry about my taking the child away from her if the child was in my name. Does anyone have any information so that my girlfriend can be reinsured that I will not be able to take the baby away from her?

Ah, young love. How lovely, how fresh.

How freakin' stooopid does a girl have to be to have sex with and get pregnant by and decide to keep a kid with a man whom she does not trust?? Hmmmmm. Pretty stupid. Maybe not quite as stupid as the guy who thinks this is normal and right, but close.

 

[fairisfair]

Why is she afraid that you will take the baby from you? Is there a possibility that the baby isn't yours? THe name the baby is given doesn't determin parental rights, both parents signing an acknowledgement of paternity after the child is born, starts the process of the putative father having rights, established your intent to determine paternity or seek parental rights, filing a paternity action, which can be done without her permission then the court orders a DNA test.... These are all things that relate to parents seeking parental rights more than a name, the baby could be named "King ofthe World" and it doesn't mean you are not the father, or have any rights, that is a different process.

If she is due in December and you are only together 4 months, it sounds like she may be worried it is someone elses child or there is a quesiton of fitness but now is not the time to stress her out. There is always time to establish parental rights or change names later. But if she has substance abuse problems, she needs to stop that now and not endanger the baby. If you are worried that she might flee with your baby, if it is your baby, register with the putative father's registery or file a paternity suit and a judge will order a paternity test to be given after the child is born, to determin if you are the father, then you may petition for other parental rights such as some form of custody, child support, visitation depending on the situation. Establishing paternity in and of it's self does not esablish custody (sole, joint legal, joint residential, shared custody). If you both sign an AOP there is usually a period of time in which to ask the court for a DNA test or to recind. NC has some other possibilities such as providing for the baby's support voluntarily before the child is born, keep records and so forth here is a link with some basic informaiton.
https://www.nc-childsupport.com/ABCs/paternity.htm

" both parents signing an acknowledgement of paternity after the child is born, starts the process of the putative father having rights, established your intent to determine paternity "

If he signs the AOP, there will be NO DNA test, he will have accepted the child as his legal responsibility. And just wondering, where does the substance abuse and stealing the baby stuff come from?? OP never said anything about any of that??

 

[rmet4nzkx]

" both parents signing an acknowledgement of paternity after the child is born, starts the process of the putative father having rights, established your intent to determine paternity "

If he signs the AOP, there will be NO DNA test, he will have accepted the child as his legal responsibility. And just wondering, where does the substance abuse and stealing the baby stuff come from?? OP never said anything about any of that??

You are taking things out of context. Please don't asign any other meaning to words that is generally presumed, the word "IF" is not an accusation, it is a qualified statement. Signing an AOP does not preclude a DNA test, there is a period of time in which the putative father may petition the court to establish paternity and other parental rights including but not limited to a DNA test which would be wise since she is pregnant almost longer than they have been together.

Why are you continually doing this?

 

[fairisfair]

You are taking things out of context. Please don't asign any other meaning to words that is generally presumed, the word "IF" is not an accusation, it is a qualified statement. Signing an AOP does not preclude a DNA test, there is a period of time in which the putative father may petition the court to establish paternity and other parental rights including but not limited to a DNA test which would be wise since she is pregnant almost longer than they have been together.

Why are you continually doing this?

I was wondering the same thing about you. What would be wise, is not signing an AOP and filing a motion for genetic testing.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I was wondering the same thing about you. What would be wise, is not signing an AOP and filing a motion for genetic testing.

Our focus is to provide objective advice about his legal options and I have done that, it is not our place to promote our personal agendas or opinions, that was not his question, what is wise, his quesiton was re the name on the birchcertificate and it only touched on the who issue of establishing paternity for which NC has it's own set of statutes and options. You need to FOCUS on the question and quit going off on tangents. OP was already informed re the name on the BC and that he has rights and must file for them whether or not he registers with the putative father's registry, they sign an AOP (which can be recinded), or he files to establish paternity, when he files to establish paternity or for other parental rights is another story. Because of the itming of the pregnancy he would be wise to get a DNA test but he isn't required to, mom could petition fora DNA test also. WE don't have all the facts.

 

[fairisfair]

Our focus is to provide objective advice about his legal options and I have done that, it is not our place to promote our personal agendas or opinions, that was not his question, what is wise, his quesiton was re the name on the birchcertificate and it only touched on the who issue of establishing paternity for which NC has it's own set of statutes and options. You need to FOCUS on the question and quit going off on tangents. OP was already informed re the name on the BC and that he has rights and must file for them whether or not he registers with the putative father's registry, they sign an AOP (which can be recinded), or he files to establish paternity, when he files to establish paternity or for other parental rights is another story. Because of the itming of the pregnancy he would be wise to get a DNA test but he isn't required to, mom could petition fora DNA test also. WE don't have all the facts.

OH you mean FOCUS on imaginary drug dependency and the baby being stolen by elves?? now I get it!!

 

[fairisfair]

and as for signing an AOP and then compelling the court to do dna testing, you might want to read this

http://www.aoc.state.nc.us/www/public/coa/opinions/2002/010305-1.htm

 

[rmet4nzkx]

OH you mean FOCUS on imaginary drug dependency and the baby being stolen by elves?? now I get it!!

Your trolling is getting old.

 

[LdiJ]

Your trolling is getting old.

You have no right to be throwing stones.