Does this matter?

[killerzoey]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? HI

I know it's impossible to predict how any judge will react, but how much will this stuff matter that I am documenting?

We don't even have a temporary visitation schedule ordered (mediation is taking forever) but we do have a schedule we've been following for weeks, which was written and agreed upon by both parties, as arranged between our lawyers.

STBX is playing really fast and loose with it, despite being told by mediator and lawyer to stop, and by me as well via e-mail.

Just last week he refused to return the girls once for 1 hour (while I waited in my car at the exchange point). He was not far away but would not come. Had no good reason. I became engorged and the baby missed her feeding, and I missed an appointment as well.

Yesterday he refused to return one of our children (the older) at the exchange. He put her on the spot saying she wanted to stay with him and when I said no, and this is not how we discuss these things, he took her out of my car put her back in his and drove away. After his lawyer tracked him down (through my lawyer & our mediator called him) he eventually returned her.

I taped the conversation leading to him leaving with her, which is allowed in my state from what I understand. In it he insisted on taking her and said I can't stop him and did this all in front of her, as his lawyer and the mediator had JUST told him not to.

Does this matter? To what degree?

What I am hoping is that this behavior will save the court time in discovering who he is. He is not someone who can co-parent because he cannot respect agreements or boundaries.

But will this be seen as good evidence of this in the absence of an actual order? Thanks.

 

[Ohiogal]

It can matter. Keep it and give it to your attorney (and if you don't have an attorney play it for the judge during a hearing) as evidence that he will not play nice and facilitate.

 

[killerzoey]

Thanks. The hits just keep coming. Yesterday he made a promise to our girls that after I picked up the girls from his time with them that we would all go to do something together. Tried to talk me into this event with him at the exchange. He is amazing. This is after the mediator spoke to him and I asked to have minimum contact and no conversation with him (all business/all via e-mail or text). He just does not seem to understand and/or be able to employ the basic rules of co-parenting. Like we don't make promises on the other parent's time. Like we don't include the kids in inappropriate discussions. Like we don't make promises to a child period when we are not totally in a position to see it through. I wonder if at some point he may be deemed unable to parent due to some sort of mental shortcoming. I know that's a hard one to prove but he seems to be proving it himself.