Domestic Violence and conflicting court docs

[forthecause]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Nevada

Hi guys! A friend pointed me here so I figured I would pick your brains here.

After years of cheating and neglect towards our children I finally told my soon to be ex to GET OUT! Unfortunatly, It resulted in me getting physically assualted and because the cops were told "I made her do it" we were both arrested. CPS becomes involved and kids removed, I file for TPO and a divorce immediatly after bail.

This is now the third time CPS has become involved in the childrens lives due to my ex and reports confirm she was caretaker. She has been verbally abusive towards me and children in front of numerous witnesses (people who she has let in house with me not there and friends of ours since high school who want whats good for children)

But here's were it gets tricky. Needless to say, she has lied to CPS, played the "look at me look at me" card and have decided that they dont know who the aggresor was. BUT WAIT....THERES MORE!! at the J court proceding, the DA and judge started questioning CPS's descision and the DA even stated the mother was definetly the aggressor in open court! So they did not terminate wardship of children, leaving it all in our Divorce judges hands.

Major problems come form her motions. On one I "told CPS I abuse alcohol" yet they made me the primary caretaker??? Good thing I did a assemsment stating I dont need treatment for anything prior to that motion she filled. As well as every motion TPO and even CPS reports contradict's itself. Like her telling CPS we fought over an "alleged affair" yet she "moved in with her boyfriend after they seperated"

I filled for sole, her joint. I am wondering what exactly kind of visitation she should have considering a long standing history of abuse and neglect (towards me and children)

As for temporary, I am Primary with her getting one overnight a week with a 48 hour notice.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Nevada

Hi guys! A friend pointed me here so I figured I would pick your brains here.

After years of cheating and neglect towards our children I finally told my soon to be ex to GET OUT! Unfortunatly, It resulted in me getting physically assualted and because the cops were told "I made her do it" we were both arrested. CPS becomes involved and kids removed, I file for TPO and a divorce immediatly after bail.

This is now the third time CPS has become involved in the childrens lives due to my ex and reports confirm she was caretaker. She has been verbally abusive towards me and children in front of numerous witnesses (people who she has let in house with me not there and friends of ours since high school who want whats good for children)

But here's were it gets tricky. Needless to say, she has lied to CPS, played the "look at me look at me" card and have decided that they dont know who the aggresor was. BUT WAIT....THERES MORE!! at the J court proceding, the DA and judge started questioning CPS's descision and the DA even stated the mother was definetly the aggressor in open court! So they did not terminate wardship of children, leaving it all in our Divorce judges hands.

Major problems come form her motions. On one I "told CPS I abuse alcohol" yet they made me the primary caretaker??? Good thing I did a assemsment stating I dont need treatment for anything prior to that motion she filled. As well as every motion TPO and even CPS reports contradict's itself. Like her telling CPS we fought over an "alleged affair" yet she "moved in with her boyfriend after they seperated"

I filled for sole, her joint. I am wondering what exactly kind of visitation she should have considering a long standing history of abuse and neglect (towards me and children)

As for temporary, I am Primary with her getting one overnight a week with a 48 hour notice.

The court will decide (not you).

What PROOF is there of neglect and abuse? I don't mean unverified reports.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Nevada

Hi guys! A friend pointed me here so I figured I would pick your brains here.

After years of cheating and neglect towards our children I finally told my soon to be ex to GET OUT! Unfortunatly, It resulted in me getting physically assualted and because the cops were told "I made her do it" we were both arrested. CPS becomes involved and kids removed, I file for TPO and a divorce immediatly after bail.

This is now the third time CPS has become involved in the childrens lives due to my ex and reports confirm she was caretaker. She has been verbally abusive towards me and children in front of numerous witnesses (people who she has let in house with me not there and friends of ours since high school who want whats good for children)

But here's were it gets tricky. Needless to say, she has lied to CPS, played the "look at me look at me" card and have decided that they dont know who the aggresor was. BUT WAIT....THERES MORE!! at the J court proceding, the DA and judge started questioning CPS's descision and the DA even stated the mother was definetly the aggressor in open court! So they did not terminate wardship of children, leaving it all in our Divorce judges hands.

Major problems come form her motions. On one I "told CPS I abuse alcohol" yet they made me the primary caretaker??? Good thing I did a assemsment stating I dont need treatment for anything prior to that motion she filled. As well as every motion TPO and even CPS reports contradict's itself. Like her telling CPS we fought over an "alleged affair" yet she "moved in with her boyfriend after they seperated"

I filled for sole, her joint. I am wondering what exactly kind of visitation she should have considering a long standing history of abuse and neglect (towards me and children)

As for temporary, I am Primary with her getting one overnight a week with a 48 hour notice.

Ok that was really confusing. CPS became involved yet dropped the case? So your saying you are or were an alchoholic? Were there any criminal charges with the arrest for DV? Ok serioulsy your post is just random thoughts thrown on the computer. Can you please take the time to make it in an orderly thought?

 

[forthecause]

Ok that was really confusing. CPS became involved yet dropped the case? So your saying you are or were an alchoholic? Were there any criminal charges with the arrest for DV? Ok serioulsy your post is just random thoughts thrown on the computer. Can you please take the time to make it in an orderly thought?

Never said I was an alcoholic. Not even close to one, thats what she says I said!

Charges were dropped for both of us as there was no witness to anything. I had my brother, a cop, take some pictures of the bruising that developed on my arm from me sheilding my face.

As for the history, it's written in the last report over the domestic violence issues. Has dates and times they had to get involved and why's. So that with witness statements I think clarifies it in the divorce procedings (correct me if I am wrong) CPS wanted the case dropped over the domestic violence, the DA and judge handling it said no way, we will let the divorce hearing figure it out and until such, they are still wards.

In which ways would you like me to clarify??

 

[Proserpina]

Never said I was an alcoholic. Not even close to one, thats what she says I said!

Charges were dropped for both of us as there was no witness to anything. I had my brother, a cop, take some pictures of the bruising that developed on my arm from me sheilding my face.

Does that prove she was responsible?

As for the history, it's written in the last report over the domestic violence issues. Has dates and times they had to get involved and why's. So that with witness statements I think clarifies it in the divorce procedings (correct me if I am wrong) CPS wanted the case dropped over the domestic violence, the DA and judge handling it said no way, we will let the divorce hearing figure it out and until such, they are still wards.

In which ways would you like me to clarify??

Have there been any CPS investigations which have resulted in a determination that abuse has occurred? Substantiated claims? Stuff like that?

 

[forthecause]

[

QUOTE=Dogmatique;2396851]Does that prove she was responsible?

All I have would be her telling everyone she did it. Police reports and CPS reports and all that.

If you were addressing the alcoholic nonsense, I have NO idea where that whole thing came from. There are TPO's in place and we never sat in the same room together and when I asked CPS where she got such a silly statement, they had no answer.

Have there been any CPS investigations which have resulted in a determination that abuse has occurred? Substantiated claims? Stuff like that?

Yes.

One instant a child was found wandering outside for 2 hours by our apt managers and when they located the childs home, they found mother inside unaware child was missing and I was at work.

The recent one was the domestic violence issues, which according to CPS, is a form of abuse/neglect because of the psychological damage DV has on children.

 

[Proserpina]

[

All I have would be her telling everyone she did it. Police reports and CPS reports and all that.

If you were addressing the alcoholic nonsense, I have NO idea where that whole thing came from. There are TPO's in place and we never sat in the same room together and when I asked CPS where she got such a silly statement, they had no answer.

Was she charged and convicted?

One instant a child was found wandering outside for 2 hours by our apt managers and when they located the childs home, they found mother inside unaware child was missing and I was at work.

The recent one was the domestic violence issues, which according to CPS, is a form of abuse/neglect because of the psychological damage DV has on children.

I'm asking what CPS decided at the close of the investigation. What happened? How were these two instances dealt with?

 

[forthecause]

oh got ya. No charges on either of us. Just a TPO I put into place with her filing for one the day she was served. So I have that one to fight against, but she makes lies in it she knows to be false. I.E told them I do not take meds for bi-polar when I was when we were together, had to go and get blood work for it done the day I was served. I have the statement she wrote here actually conflicting a CPS statment and a motion she filed.

As for the CPS investigations.

On the first one, they made us drug test

On second, they made me install a deadbolt on the door. (escaped child)

The third one, CPS filed a motion to step aside and terminate wardship. Saying it was a mutually unhealthy relationship and that they could not determine who the physical aggressor was. Set a court date for termination of wardship. At the hearing to terminate wardship, the judge handling that procedding and the DA refused to terminate wardship because they did not belive in "mutual unhealthy" relationship and CPS's behavior started to come into question by DA as he could see the mother as the aggressor. So the judge ruled to keep wardship in place and to still grant the divorce judge full authority of custody.

 

[Proserpina]

oh got ya. No charges on either of us. Just a TPO I put into place with her filing for one the day she was served. So I have that one to fight against, but she makes lies in it she knows to be false. I.E told them I do not take meds for bi-polar when I was when we were together, had to go and get blood work for it done the day I was served. I have the statement she wrote here actually conflicting a CPS statment and a motion she filed.

They actually had you tested for the presence of your bipolar meds? How on earth did she manage that?

As for the CPS investigations.

On the first one, they made us drug test

On second, they made me install a deadbolt on the door. (escaped child)

And the drug test was negative for both of you, yes?

The third one, CPS filed a motion to step aside and terminate wardship. Saying it was a mutually unhealthy relationship and that they could not determine who the physical aggressor was. Set a court date for termination of wardship. At the hearing to terminate wardship, the judge handling that procedding and the DA refused to terminate wardship because they did not belive in "mutual unhealthy" relationship and CPS's behavior started to come into question by DA as he could see the mother as the aggressor. So the judge ruled to keep wardship in place and to still grant the divorce judge full authority of custody.

I want to look a couple of things up. There's something not right in this story.

 

[forthecause]

no she did not get them to test me. I did on my own, you know about bipolar stuff when you are one. I take lithium. It takes 3-4 weeks for chemical balances to be right when you take this drug for this disorder. So, I had blood work done, chemically balanced and the presence of lithium was confirmed. It was me acting on quick reflexes to start showing her BS.

Yes, both tests were negative.

And yes, feel free to look up what you need to. Yes, it is strange, the whole damned thing is strange. Only suspiscion, but I feel CPS has been attempting to stack the deck against me. They for some reason sent her to safe nest for "victim" counseling before me. Once I had a meeting with the DA and CPS and DA saw police reports and photos and heard my story of how life had been, the DA sent me to safe nest.

 

[Proserpina]

no she did not get them to test me. I did on my own, you know about bipolar stuff when you are one. I take lithium. It takes 3-4 weeks for chemical balances to be right when you take this drug for this disorder. So, I had blood work done, chemically balanced and the presence of lithium was confirmed. It was me acting on quick reflexes to start showing her BS


Yes, both tests were negative.

And yes, feel free to look up what you need to. Yes, it is strange, the whole damned thing is strange. Only suspiscion, but I feel CPS has been attempting to stack the deck against me. They for some reason sent her to safe nest for "victim" counseling before me. Once I had a meeting with the DA and CPS and DA saw police reports and photos and heard my story of how life had been, the DA sent me to safe nest.

Why would they do that?

 

[forthecause]

pure and simple.....gender bias.

It has been rather intresting to belive that when they asked why we fought and I tell them that between her consistantly not watching the children (4 days prior to our arrests, she decided it was more important to send me to pay bills, leave her with the children, she falls asleep and my daughter cuts off ALL her hair!! And CPS asked my daughter what happened and she even said mommy was sleeping and I cut off all my hair!!) and constant cheating (she was in the middle of an affair with her current live in bf) that the day we were arrested was the day I told her to get out and me and my girls would no longer accept it. She attacked. But according to her, it was only an "alleged" affair and after we were arrested she moved in with her boyfriend and his family...her words, not mine, thats from CPS's report, how they fail to connect the dots there, is beyond me. Plus, I am sorry, I do not know many abused people who have affairs. From everything I have looked up from Domestic Violence Websites...thats one key component to figuring out the abuser.

There has not been a whole lot of things in this entiree thing that have made sense at all. But I do not see how she has decided that we should have joint custody, knowing well we wont ever agree to anything. Hell, she told the divorce judge she was tired of me serving her and filing motions and wants me to leave her alone!

 

[Antigone*]

I couldn't get passed "BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.

This poster makes me feel like I'm watching a Billy Mays infomercial.

 

[forthecause]

^I feel like I am living one at times!!

Ok...here is the timeline of it all, for those who want it.

Mother through out children's lives has continuously been verbually abusive and constantly putting down the children. This has been done many a times in front of witnesses, I am bringing one as a couple are my family. But the one that is testifying is a friend of ours since high school who has been in and out of our house once a week at least and is godfather to children. She also claims mental abuse from me, how ever he never saw it, just from her.

After second child is born I am at work and mother is more concerned about AC than dog poop in house, calls maintanance man and he calls CPS. Drug tested, negative. Youngest daughter, again while I am working, escapes from household and apartment manager finds her. 2 hours later finds mother in apt not even aware child was out. I put deadbolt on top of door. This is also time of a different affair.

Same **** goes on, find her in affair again, and then again. One day I come home from paying bills to see mother is dressed with kids and told I was not allowed to go and see the movie with them, she runs off with my kids. Only to be informed by oldest one day when we saw commercial for the movie that mommy told her to "keep a secret or I would no longer be her daddy again." It was so mommy could take them on a date with her bf. Counseling reports will confirm this. It is from this same instant that my youngest has developed an intense fear of never seeing me again.

I hit a line of clinical depression and seek my own counseling as well as we attend marriage counseling beginning early June. June 21st, I come home to see daughters hair mutilated and mother disappears for another 2 day stint. When she finally returns home, I tell her its over, no more. I even called her grandma to come and get her, but she had to go do something else first. Then I was attacked by mother.

CPS investigates, they claim they can not determine a primary aggressor. However they send mother to safe nest cuz she claims mental abuse. Finally I speak with DA advocate and CPS and advocate sends me to Safe Nest. Me and Safe Nest agree that since I have been seeking my own counseling before, continuing with them would more than suffice. It is in his report that that is why I am not in Safe Nest. But he does mention I have been victimized by my wife as well.

CPS tries to terminate wardship, judge and DA of that proceeding refuse to and decide that things have not been done properly on CPS's side and that they would not terminate, but instead let divorce hearings handle it.

Now in this mess, there was an instant on June 8th where mother claims I hit her in shower to CPS (have reports) and writes on TPO that i throw her from shower. End result, she fleed for her life as she claims and had to borrow someones car for work. That someone was my brother and his wife, four houses down and they remembered she said she needed the car cause I left! My brother is a cop. She tells TPO I am not medicated for bipolar, yet in her countermotion for custody claims I am taking meds and have been in the past. She also says in same motion, I told CPS I abuse alcohol and joint custody allows for me to seek treatment. This motion filled on Sept 4th, I had an assesment done July19th where she mentions signs of abuse and the fact that I do not need substance treatment.

Temporary custody is her being allowed one overnight a week with 48 hour notice. She has a unstable work schedule...like hours constantly vary and so does days off. She is paying child support of bare minimal due to fact we caught her lying on Financial Disclosure and judge decided minimum for now, but ordered it updated soon.

OK...there you go.

 

[Ohiogal]

pure and simple.....gender bias.

It has been rather intresting to belive that when they asked why we fought and I tell them that between her consistantly not watching the children (4 days prior to our arrests, she decided it was more important to send me to pay bills, leave her with the children, she falls asleep and my daughter cuts off ALL her hair!! And CPS asked my daughter what happened and she even said mommy was sleeping and I cut off all my hair!!) and constant cheating (she was in the middle of an affair with her current live in bf) that the day we were arrested was the day I told her to get out and me and my girls would no longer accept it. She attacked. But according to her, it was only an "alleged" affair and after we were arrested she moved in with her boyfriend and his family...her words, not mine, thats from CPS's report, how they fail to connect the dots there, is beyond me. Plus, I am sorry, I do not know many abused people who have affairs. From everything I have looked up from Domestic Violence Websites...thats one key component to figuring out the abuser.

There has not been a whole lot of things in this entiree thing that have made sense at all. But I do not see how she has decided that we should have joint custody, knowing well we wont ever agree to anything. Hell, she told the divorce judge she was tired of me serving her and filing motions and wants me to leave her alone!

Oh good grief. This whole thing is ridiculous. You blame mom for CPS being called while you were together because she was primary. That tells me you refuse to acknowledge your role in any of this and you are just as bad, if not worse, than mom. The TWO OF YOU need to grow up, get counseling and start acting in your children's best interests. With CPS being involved THREE TIMES neither one of you are sainted parents.