dont know what to do

[Ashlee91977]

What is the name of your state? CA


Alright here's the latest. While my fiance and I were picking up his child for their scheduled visitation we noticed that the apartment that the child's grandmother was living was vacant and for rent. Upon going to the door my fiance noticed that the child's mother's furniture was gone as well as whatever belongings she had and the grandmother was there. We suspect that the mother moved out and left the child in question with the grandmother. We're not sure when it happened but this has happened before and we have 1 case documented with the housing authority and in another case I was a witness to her asking if the kids were in "her room" while the kids were at the child's aunts house playing. The custody order is joint legal and physical custody with the primary residence being with the mother. MOther is currently collecting food stamps and cash aid for the child we suspect is not living with her. What can my fiance do legally? What rights does he have? Does my fiance keep the child? How can he get documented proof that this is what happened? What will this do to the current custody battle is it grounds for a change of primary residence? Thanks a bunch.


Ashlee

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? CA


Alright here's the latest. While my fiance and I were picking up his child for their scheduled visitation we noticed that the apartment that the child's grandmother was living was vacant and for rent. Upon going to the door my fiance noticed that the child's mother's furniture was gone as well as whatever belongings she had and the grandmother was there. We suspect that the mother moved out and left the child in question with the grandmother. We're not sure when it happened but this has happened before and we have 1 case documented with the housing authority and in another case I was a witness to her asking if the kids were in "her room" while the kids were at the child's aunts house playing. The custody order is joint legal and physical custody with the primary residence being with the mother. MOther is currently collecting food stamps and cash aid for the child we suspect is not living with her. What can my fiance do legally? What rights does he have? Does my fiance keep the child? How can he get documented proof that this is what happened? What will this do to the current custody battle is it grounds for a change of primary residence? Thanks a bunch.


Ashlee

What is the 'current' Custody case regarding?

If a child does not live with the Custodial Parent, then yes, that is reason to change Custody to the Non-Custodial Parent...However, Dad must PROVE the child does not live with Mom (& that proof isn't you saying you saw/did not see Mom's furniture).

 

[Ashlee91977]

THe current case is my fiance getting a change of residence based on emotional abuse and neglect. Child protective services has been involved so there is some sort of paper trail. The mother did threaten the child that if "she got mad one more time that she would leave, take her other 2 children, not child in question, and leave the child with the grandparents." CPS did make demands on the mother and to his knowledge has not kept up with the demands. Of course he does not realize what his rights are so that is why I am asking here in hopes to be somewhat enlightened. How can he get documentation of the mother no longer living in the home? The apartment is and always has been under the grandparents name. Do we call CPS and let them know that the mother is still drinking alcohol and becoming intoxicated in the presence of the child even though she as per CPS and the court is to not be? Do we call CPS and ask them to document where she is living? DO we contact social services and let them know that the mother is possibly collecting assistance for a child that does not live with her? My fiance has no idea where to start. Obviously he needs an attorney but does not have the money for one. We've tried to save up and are just unable to. ( I am saying we because I do help him financially and would help him financially in this situation.) Thanks a bunch for your advice.


Ashlee

 

[milspecgirl]

i would contact cps again and have them investigate again. you can also send a certified letter to mom at the address and see if she picks it up- any idea where she may be living

 

[Ashlee91977]

What happens if one of the grandparents or the aunt accepts and opens the letter uner her name or they let her know that she has mail she needs to pick up? I am thinking CPS is the best way to go. Now if my fiance gets it documented that she is not living there what should my fiance do? Does he have to let the child go with the mother after his visitation is over knowing she is taking the child home to the grandparents and then leaving her there? Does he file for an emergency custody hearing? Thank you so much for all of your help. I will hand over all this information to him and he will go from there.



Ashlee

 

[Foreverafamily]

Maybe

This might help on top of the certified letter you can send a regular letter and put on the outside DO NOT FORWARD, therefore if she put a fwd on her mail you will get a response stating such because your letter will STATE DO NOT FORWARD and most likely you will get yor letter back. The only problem with the certified letter is that if her grandmother is hoem when they come to deliver the letter she can sign for it and than you will have no proof except that someone got the letter and than her grandmother could say in her defense wheather it be a lie or the truth that she gaev her that letter.

Just a thought.

 

[milspecgirl]

i wonder if there is a way with the post office or even something like ups, etc to make it so that only the addressee can sign for it. i would get cps involved again

 

[Foreverafamily]

I think there is if you send a certified letter, there is a box to check stating it has to be her.

 

[Ashlee91977]

This might help on top of the certified letter you can send a regular letter and put on the outside DO NOT FORWARD, therefore if she put a fwd on her mail you will get a response stating such because your letter will STATE DO NOT FORWARD and most likely you will get yor letter back. The only problem with the certified letter is that if her grandmother is hoem when they come to deliver the letter she can sign for it and than you will have no proof except that someone got the letter and than her grandmother could say in her defense wheather it be a lie or the truth that she gaev her that letter.

Just a thought.

Yeah I as thinking it wouldn't be too difficult for them to pose as the mother... Could her family that lives there tell her that there was mail for her and she go to the post office to sign for it? I think right now CPS is the way my fiance is leaning. He will be going to the child's school tomorrow to see how the child was registered and if he was even put on the contact list like the court order states he should be. Thanks again for all of the wonderful advice.


Ashlee

 

[Ashlee91977]

i wonder if there is a way with the post office or even something like ups, etc to make it so that only the addressee can sign for it. i would get cps involved again

My fiance thinks CPS is the best way to go too...At least with CPS they can look around the house and see who lives there and document it. Now if this is the case where does my fiance go from there? Does he file for an emergency hearing and not allow the other party to pick up the child? What should he do in these circumstances? Thank you.



Ashlee

 

[Just Blue]

My fiance thinks CPS is the best way to go too...At least with CPS they can look around the house and see who lives there and document it. Now if this is the case where does my fiance go from there? Does he file for an emergency hearing and not allow the other party to pick up the child? What should he do in these circumstances? Thank you.



Ashlee

CPS is there if there is abuse or neglect...It is not their purpose to check up on the ex or verify who lives at an address.

 

[Ashlee91977]

CPS is there if there is abuse or neglect...It is not their purpose to check up on the ex or verify who lives at an address.

This is true, but in this case is it not considered abandoning the child to an extent? What about the mother's threat to the child stating that if she got mad at the child or the grandparents that she was going to leave and not take the child but take the child's siblings? Is that not emotional abuse? Especially when the mother knew how distraught the child was about the whole ordeal? THere is a joint legal and physical custody in order in place, how does one go about proving any of this?



Ashlee

 

[Just Blue]

This is true, but in this case is it not considered abandoning the child to an extent? What about the mother's threat to the child stating that if she got mad at the child or the grandparents that she was going to leave and not take the child but take the child's siblings? Is that not emotional abuse? Especially when the mother knew how distraught the child was about the whole ordeal? THere is a joint legal and physical custody in order in place, how does one go about proving any of this?



Ashlee

The child should be in counseling. If there is a custody case the records COULD be used to attest to the child state of mind. Also a GAL should be used to determine the best interest of the child. What should NOT be done is to spam CPS with ridiculous complaints.

 

[Ashlee91977]

The child should be in counseling. If there is a custody case the records COULD be used to attest to the child state of mind. Also a GAL should be used to determine the best interest of the child. What should NOT be done is to spam CPS with ridiculous complaints.

I agree with you wholeheartedly, but if a parent, my fiance in this case, feels his child is in danger or being mistreated in any way shape or form, CPS should be contacted. That is what this is looking to be. May I ask what a GAL is? The childwas in court ordered counseling but the mother is now refusing to take ethe child and refusing to give the inusurance card to my fiance so he can take her. Obviously we cannot afford to take her or else he/we would in a heartbeat. Also we found the counselor the child was seeing and who was to make a report to the court is a friend of the mothers and works in the same office as her. They have been seen by numerous people including us eating lunch together. He always acted very biased during all of the counseling sessions towards the mother. My fiance has already filed a complaint against the counselor for not notifying him that he was no longer seeing the child and refused to return any and all contact with my fiance. The counselor would return my phone call in a heart beat and tell me all of the details, which is not right. I'd asked him to please talk to my fiance as well but he outright refused. So yes a formal complaint against the counselor was filed with the state. That said my fiance is at a loss and does not know what to do. He, my fiance, does feel that the mother is still abusive towards the child, so CPS will be called and will be asked about if the mother left and abandoned the child what legal steps he needs to take to gains custody of the child. THanks.



Ashlee

 

[CJane]

CPS is there if there is abuse or neglect...It is not their purpose to check up on the ex or verify who lives at an address.

THANK YOU! Gawd, I was about to 'splode over here.

Do NOT call CPS.

Do NOT keep the child at the end of visitation. Even IF you had PROOF that mom didn't live with Gramma anymore, you'd have no PROOF that the child would be in danger being returned to Mom and that's what you need to risk contempt ESPECIALLY during a custody case.

Good lord.

If you really want to help your fiance, find a way to get him an attorney. If this kid is really being abused, he's well on his way to losing his case and leaving the kid to the wolves.