DPOA

[eschtl]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

 

[eschtl]

My father has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. He is becoming aggressive at times and has hallucinations. My mother is his DPOA once it is determined that he is not longer able to make decisions. My question is how do we acknowledge legally that it is time for her to take over as his DPOA both financially and medically?

 

[LdiJ]

My father has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. He is becoming aggressive at times and has hallucinations. My mother is his DPOA once it is determined that he is not longer able to make decisions. My question is how do we acknowledge legally that it is time for her to take over as his DPOA both financially and medically?

I can give advice from a personal perspective, as my father had alzheimer's and got aggressive sometimes too. As far as medical decisions are concerned the medical care providers will naturally defer to your mother once they realize that your father is incapacitated. You won't have to have anything legally acknowledged since your mother has the DPOA.

Also, again, as far as financial stuff is concerned, the time for your mother to take over is when she starts noticing that the bills aren't getting paid when they should be, or at all. Again, there is nothing legally that will have to be done, as she already has the DPOA.

 

[eschtl]

I can give advice from a personal perspective, as my father had alzheimer's and got aggressive sometimes too. As far as medical decisions are concerned the medical care providers will naturally defer to your mother once they realize that your father is incapacitated. You won't have to have anything legally acknowledged since your mother has the DPOA.

Also, again, as far as financial stuff is concerned, the time for your mother to take over is when she starts noticing that the bills aren't getting paid when they should be, or at all. Again, there is nothing legally that will have to be done, as she already has the DPOA.

What about things like a credit card that my mom is not the primary on? She has had a really hard time with one in particular. They tell her that can’t give her any information.

 

[Just Blue]

What about things like a credit card that my mom is not the primary on? She has had a really hard time with one in particular. They tell her that can’t give her any information.

Did she send/fax/email a copy of the DPOA?

It would be advisable for your mother to have a consult with an attorney to educate her on this matter.

 

[eschtl]

Did she send/fax/email a copy of the DPOA?

It would be advisable for your mother to have a consult with an attorney to educate her on this matter.

I don’t believe she has sent them a copy. I will suggest that. Thank you!

 

[LdiJ]

What about things like a credit card that my mom is not the primary on? She has had a really hard time with one in particular. They tell her that can’t give her any information.

I will give you some other advice. If your mother needs to call the credit card company because the bill is going missing because your father is getting the mail and losing it, then she might want to consider getting a PO Box and forwarding all mail there. She can pick the mail up a couple of times a week and put address changes in with everyone that needs an address change. She can let the junk mail still come to the house so that your father has some mail to get.

 

[Zigner]

The DPOA should specify when it becomes effective.

 

[eschtl]

I will give you some other advice. If your mother needs to call the credit card company because the bill is going missing because your father is getting the mail and losing it, then she might want to consider getting a PO Box and forwarding all mail there. She can pick the mail up a couple of times a week and put address changes in with everyone that needs an address change. She can let the junk mail still come to the house so that your father has some mail to get.

Great idea! The struggle with dementia is so bad. I wouldn’t wish this reality on any one!

 

[LdiJ]

Great idea! The struggle with dementia is so bad. I wouldn’t wish this reality on any one!

It is, and you have to be very creative. For example, when my mother finally had to take Dad's car keys away (it wasn't safe for him OR other drivers for him to be on the road) he fought with her bitterly about it until my brother took my dad's truck to his house. Once dad could no longer see his truck, he stopped trying to get his keys back.