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Drawbacks of Joint LEGAL Custody

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DGSky

Member
What is the name of your state? CA

Although my wife has said I can have sole physical custody of our daughter, she wants joint legal custody now even though she has not been involved in our daughters life the past four years. She is very adamant about this and it makes me concerned.

Presently, she is waiving the house, cars, both our child and her child (I know, she doesn't really have to waive her son, but I just want to shed some light on the situation as a whole), spousal, and said when she can afford to do so she would pay child suport.

Her background: she lives with another guy who the kids refuse to be around (and the MSA states clearly the kids cannot be forced to go anywhere or do anything they choose not to do). She has a drinking problem and the last time the kids saw her her son saw numerous empty beer cans in the back seat of her car, she gave our daughter an email address ending in the satanic numbers 666, and is overall a bad role model.

Am I making a mistake giving her joint legal with her giving so much away?
 


casa

Senior Member
DGSky said:
What is the name of your state? CA

Although my wife has said I can have sole physical custody of our daughter, she wants joint legal custody now even though she has not been involved in our daughters life the past four years. She is very adamant about this and it makes me concerned.

Presently, she is waiving the house, cars, both our child and her child (I know, she doesn't really have to waive her son, but I just want to shed some light on the situation as a whole), spousal, and said when she can afford to do so she would pay child suport.

Her background: she lives with another guy who the kids refuse to be around (and the MSA states clearly the kids cannot be forced to go anywhere or do anything they choose not to do). She has a drinking problem and the last time the kids saw her her son saw numerous empty beer cans in the back seat of her car, she gave our daughter an email address ending in the satanic numbers 666, and is overall a bad role model.

Am I making a mistake giving her joint legal with her giving so much away?
I think you should take the offer. What you can do, since you will be having primary physical custody, is state in the paperwork- that you share joint legal custody, with you being the one who makes the final decision (if you cannot agree). Joint legal custody is very very common in CA. It basically gives her the right to be involved in medical & educational decisions. Again, since you will be the Custodial parent the child will go to school where you live- and you will be the one taking the child to the Dr.s etc.

Just make sure the court order reflects that if you two were not to agree on something (say what school the child goes to) that you have the final decision.
 

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
DGSky said:
What is the name of your state? CA

Although my wife has said I can have sole physical custody of our daughter, she wants joint legal custody now even though she has not been involved in our daughters life the past four years. She is very adamant about this and it makes me concerned.

Presently, she is waiving the house, cars, both our child and her child (I know, she doesn't really have to waive her son, but I just want to shed some light on the situation as a whole), spousal, and said when she can afford to do so she would pay child suport.

Her background: she lives with another guy who the kids refuse to be around (and the MSA states clearly the kids cannot be forced to go anywhere or do anything they choose not to do). She has a drinking problem and the last time the kids saw her her son saw numerous empty beer cans in the back seat of her car, she gave our daughter an email address ending in the satanic numbers 666, and is overall a bad role model.

Am I making a mistake giving her joint legal with her giving so much away?
Your 17 yo daughter has been posting on this site using your logon. You should go read all the posts under your moniker.

Joint legal custody for less than 1 year means what if you have physicial custody. If you want child support you will have to file for it.
 

DGSky

Member
Thank you for the quick responce. I find your answer reasonable especially since the mother has not been involved with their day-to-day activiites for years and I think her last minute request to chnage to the legal status to joint was out of ego, otherwise she would want joint physical.

I'm sure she will fade away as before within a few months.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
rmet4nzkx said:
Your 17 yo daughter has been posting on this site using your logon. You should go read all the posts under your moniker.
That would be his (step)son, actually.
 

DGSky

Member
Thanks. Actually I am aware and referred himk to the site and wanted him to question on his own and in his own words and feelings.

He decided to drop evrything but is planning to change his last name to mine in three months when he turns 18. Damn good kid!
 

casa

Senior Member
DGSky said:
Thanks. Actually I am aware and referred himk to the site and wanted him to question on his own and in his own words and feelings.

He decided to drop evrything but is planning to change his last name to mine in three months when he turns 18. Damn good kid!
sounds like he's got a damn good Dad :)
 

DGSky

Member
Thank you, I apreciate the kind words. often I do feel like a failure for my family faling apart, ut when her son and our daughetr both said they don't ever want her back and will leave if I do let her return, I knew what I had to do.

Your quote below is one of my favorites.
 

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