Dropping ex from health insurance?

[ajkroy]

What is the name of your state? MA

I carry health insurance on my ex-spouse through my employer. He also has a health insurance plan in place through his employer (he has been employed there nearly 30 years). I offered to keep him on mine as a secondary as long as my son was in school and required insurance, since it was not an additional cost to me.

My son is employed and has had his own health insurance since January, and I have been waiting until May for Open Enrollment in order to drop down from the family plan to the single plan. My ex is balking, however. He says that the divorce decree doesn't state that it was only until my son found health insurance or aged out. I pulled out the decree and he's correct; *my* lawyer's handwritten stipulation states that I will carry my ex on my insurance, without including an end date or event.

My questions are:

1) If I attempt to drop my ex from the insurance, will I have to provide a copy of the entire divorce decree for my HR person administering the benefits?

2) If I am successful in dropping him, how bad would I look before a judge for doing so? We had a clear meeting of the minds (between us) ahead of time and my lawyer didn't write it correctly. I know, I know...I should have thought about that part before signing, but we were going back and forth in mediation at the end of a three-year divorce and were literally making the deal in the hallway. He has been insured the entire time he has been employed through his employer (excellent plan; Forbes Top 5 Company).

I will accept any advice anyone has to give me. It means a savings to me of roughly $3600/year.

 

[Zigner]

I suggest that you speak to your attorney about this mess. As it stands now, you are not allowed to drop him.

 

[ajkroy]

Thanks, Zigner. Just to be clear, I don't think he would push it as far as court. He was supposed to include me on his AAA membership and Costco membership while I provided the insurance, but he has not done that past the first year (and that was not included in the decree, either).

Are you saying that I couldn't even attempt to drop him? That it would die in the HR office?

 

[Zigner]

I don't think your HR department is going to care, so long as it's during open enrollment.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

1) To drop not at open enrollment you are going to have to show to the HR department enough to show a qualifying event has taken place. You can't do that because you didn't do it at the time of the divorce and what you would show her doesn't show a change in status.

2) Follow Zigner's advice. Call your lawyer.

 

[ajkroy]

Thanks Zigner and PayrollGuy. It is during Open Enrollment. I have been paying extra since January (otherwise my son getting his own health insurance in January would have been a qualifying event, if he had been my only dependent).

It has been five years since the divorce and my former lawyer would charge me for every call and would end up taking this to court. This change will cost me thousands of dollars.

Of course I want to the legal thing. I also want to do the right thing. I have been a contributor here for 12 years and trust the people here. I am just trying to get an idea of which way is the best way to go.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

If it is during open enrollment HR won't need anything other than your say so.

If what you said is true, and we have no reason to think it isn't, both you and the lawyer screwed up. Him by writing something other than you agreed to and you by signing it.

If you don't think your husband will push it just drop him. I personally think that any judge would find it unreasonable for you to keep him on your insurance when he has his own forever.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? MA

I carry health insurance on my ex-spouse through my employer. He also has a health insurance plan in place through his employer (he has been employed there nearly 30 years). I offered to keep him on mine as a secondary as long as my son was in school and required insurance, since it was not an additional cost to me.

My son is employed and has had his own health insurance since January, and I have been waiting until May for Open Enrollment in order to drop down from the family plan to the single plan. My ex is balking, however. He says that the divorce decree doesn't state that it was only until my son found health insurance or aged out. I pulled out the decree and he's correct; *my* lawyer's handwritten stipulation states that I will carry my ex on my insurance, without including an end date or event.

My questions are:

1) If I attempt to drop my ex from the insurance, will I have to provide a copy of the entire divorce decree for my HR person administering the benefits?

2) If I am successful in dropping him, how bad would I look before a judge for doing so? We had a clear meeting of the minds (between us) ahead of time and my lawyer didn't write it correctly. I know, I know...I should have thought about that part before signing, but we were going back and forth in mediation at the end of a three-year divorce and were literally making the deal in the hallway. He has been insured the entire time he has been employed through his employer (excellent plan; Forbes Top 5 Company).

I will accept any advice anyone has to give me. It means a savings to me of roughly $3600/year.

If he has access to good insurance himself, and has in fact been covered the entire time, I cannot imagine a judge forcing you to continue to insure him when you no longer need a family plan.

 

[ajkroy]

Thank you all. I was hoping you would say that. His insurance is actually better than mine.

PayrollGuy, I agree. I messed up. I was so wrapped up in getting it *finished* (and I trusted my lawyer) that I didn't think of the potential consequences of the way it was worded. Divorce is stressful. No excuse -- just telling you my state of mind at the time.

 

[adjusterjack]

I messed up. I was so wrapped up in getting it *finished* (and I trusted my lawyer) that I didn't think of the potential consequences of the way it was worded. Divorce is stressful. No excuse -- just telling you my state of mind at the time.

That's OK. It's how many divorced people find out they have problems years later. Usually they are much more nightmarish than yours, like still being on the mortgage while the ex has the house and can't or won't get it refinanced and is late on the payments. I hope you don't have that issue.

 

[ajkroy]

No, Adjusterjack, I refinanced the home into solely my name. But I can see how that could be a nightmare.

Thanks for the comment. Makes me not beat up on myself as much.

 

[cbg]

Coming somewhat late to this party, but I am a Benefits manager in MA and this is exactly what I do.

Confirming what has been said before; you are free to drop him during Open Enrollment. You will not have to provide any proof of other insurance, or show your divorce decree; all you will need to do is click the box or unclick the box or whatever it is that your system requires to un-enroll a dependent. If your employer is large enough your HR office not only isn't going to care - they likely won't even notice.

However, if you attempt to drop either your son or your ex-spouse at any other time, you are going to need to provide not just proof of other coverage, but proof that the other coverage began within the last 30 days. It will indeed die in HR if you attempt it other than at OE - IRS regulations tie your HR's hands on the matter. It doesn't sound as if you can do that, so OE is going to be your only opt.

I agree that if both your son and your ex-spouse have other insurance already in place, I doubt if a judge is going to require you to continue to cover them.

In other words, just get it done during OE and you should be fine.

 

[ajkroy]

Thanks, cbg. I was hoping you'd come along and give advice.

I was deliberately waiting until Open Enrollment, which technically started today. I knew that the additional money I've been paying since my son acquired coverage would (hopefully) only last until now. That is actually what prompted this whole thing: I sent a quick email to my ex to let him know that he had roughly six months until I would be ending coverage for him, in case he had any procedures planned. He came back telling me about the wording of the decree.

I feel relatively confident in my choice to drop him. I understand that it is a risk, and I could be called before a judge for my actions. I hope it doesn't come to that.

 

[cbg]

Sorry I was so late to the party; I have a very long commute and can't always get wifi access on the train. But I don't anticipate your having much of a problem, even in this state. We're a bit different, and more generous, than most states when it comes to covering ex-spouses but it's not usually to an unreasonable point. My husband's ex covered him on her insurance for years until we got married and we had something similar to what you're going through but from the other side; there was a breakdown in communications and she ended up having to cover him a few months longer than she actually should have had to until we could get him on mine. (He's an adjunct professor and doesn't qualify for benefits at the university where he teaches.) But all in all, the lawyers were able to work it out and nothing ever went to court.

 

[ajkroy]

I hope that I have a similarly (relatively) uncomplicated story to report after this is over.

I will come back and let you all know what happened.