Drug testing for custodial parent

[greenlady]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

Does anyone know what the stipulation or grounds would be to have a custodial parent drug tested and what the noncustodial parent would have to do or show the court to have it done?

Here is quick background:
Mother has custody and is a past drug user (prior to pregnancy) but has been clean (as far as anyone knows) since the children were born. The children will be 2 tomorrow. Mother is now dating (and living with, which is also a violation of the court order) a known drug user.

Mother has also admitted to Father that she is smoking cigarettes now (when its in the visitation agreement that the children are not to be around smoke since they have asthma) and the boyfriend also smokes cigarettes. This is irrelevant to the original question but I know there was a case where the custody was changed due to smoking and asthma.

Thanks for any help.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? VA

Does anyone know what the stipulation or grounds would be to have a custodial parent drug tested and what the noncustodial parent would have to do or show the court to have it done?

Here is quick background:
Mother has custody and is a past drug user (prior to pregnancy) but has been clean (as far as anyone knows) since the children were born. The children will be 2 tomorrow. Mother is now dating (and living with, which is also a violation of the court order) a known drug user.

Mother has also admitted to Father that she is smoking cigarettes now (when its in the visitation agreement that the children are not to be around smoke since they have asthma) and the boyfriend also smokes cigarettes. This is irrelevant to the original question but I know there was a case where the custody was changed due to smoking and asthma.

Thanks for any help.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Dad would need PROOF for the Court. It's not easy.

He'll also need an attorney. This is not a DIY project...if it's doable at all. No posters, and no attorneys, from VA follow these boards, to my knowledge.

 

[greenlady]

Thanks for the response SilverPlum.

Unfortunately I know no one in VA posts here. I have posted with issues before and gotten at least an answer to set me in the right direction.

What kind of proof would dad need? What about if she had a court record from drug charges?

 

[Silverplum]

Thanks for the response SilverPlum.

You're welcome.

Unfortunately I know no one in VA posts here. I have posted with issues before and gotten at least an answer to set me in the right direction.

What kind of proof would dad need? What about if she had a court record from drug charges?

Is it current?
How does he plan to (legally) get ahold of her court record?

And more importantly, more pertinent to Family Court, is how, precisely, does this negatively affect the children? Prove it.

And the answer is not, "Drugs are not good."

 

[Bloopy]

No posters, and no attorneys, from VA follow these boards, to my knowledge.

I’m in VA… not a lawyer.

Nothing you have said even remotely suggests Mom needs to be drug tested. Even you said she’s been clean.

While I’m personally not crazy about anyone smoking around children, it’s still Mom’s “right.” The visitation agreement is all about what you agree to. Mom admitted that she is smoking now; she has not said she is doing so in front of the children.

You have no proof and even if you did, I don't see this impacting Mom's custody.

Good Golly… the Philip Morris plant is practically VA’s Disneyland.

 

[Silverplum]

I’m in VA… not a lawyer.

Bloopy!
I didn't realize you were in VA!

I sincerely apologize.

Nothing you have said even remotely suggests Mom needs to be drug tested. Even you said she’s been clean.

While I’m personally not crazy about anyone smoking around children, it’s still Mom’s “right.” The visitation agreement is all about what you agree to. Mom admitted that she is smoking now; she has not said she is doing so in front of the children.

You have no proof and even if you did, I don't see this impacting Mom's custody.

Good Golly… the Philip Morris plant is practically VA’s Disneyland.

This is why it's good to have locals respond!

 

[Bloopy]

Bloopy!
I didn't realize you were in VA!

I sincerely apologize.

No worries!

I believe I even neglect that bit of info in some of my own threads.

What was it you said about not deleting that question built into the posts?

 

[Farfalla]

see post below....

 

[Bloopy2]

My husband is from Maryland. His wife was using when they went through their divorce.

He had several people who knew she was using testify in court. One saw her shooting up, that sort of thing. The judge took the side of caution. Said that the mom could have unsupervised visitation as if she passed some drug tests. It took her 6 months to show up for the drugs tests.

What is the harm of taking drugs while taking care of children? They impare a person's ability to function. And it teaches the children that taking illegal drugs is ok.

Lady, we’re talking about smoking cigarettes, not shooting up. No one is advocating drug use around children. Sheesh.

Your husband was able to demonstrate that his ex was shooting up around the children and that it impaired her care of them. Still the judge ordered unsupervised visitation pending testing. Mom was non-compliant with court ordered testing.

Not relevant to this thread at all. Start your own if you have a question.

 

[Farfalla]

Lady, we’re talking about smoking cigarettes, not shooting up. No one is advocating drug use around children. Sheesh.

Go back and read the OP… it states….

Does anyone know what the stipulation or grounds would be to have a custodial parent drug tested and what the noncustodial parent would have to do or show the court to have it done?

Greenlady is mostly concerned because the mother is an ex drug user living with a drug user. It is extremely reasonable to believe that she is using again. I was responding to that part of her ost.

Your husband was able to demonstrate that his ex was shooting up around the children and that it impaired her care of them. Still the judge ordered unsupervised visitation pending testing. Mom was non-compliant with court ordered testing.

Thanks for catching a mistake in my post… I’ve fixed by adding the word ONLY… his ex could only have unsupervised visitation if she passed drugs tests. Sorry for the confusion on that. It was sex months before she was compliant, hence 6 months before she could see her children unsupervised.

Not relevant to this thread at all. Start your own if you have a question.

Sorry directly addresses a question raised by the OP>

 

[greenlady]

Thank you Bloopy and SilverPlum. and all the others who replied...

I know the cigarette thing is not a problem, I just find it amusing that mom specifically had that put in the agreement to keep dad from taking the children to his mother's house (since she is a heavy smoker) and now she is doing it herself. Also she had a clause put in the court order that neither parent is allowed to have overnight visitors while the children are present because dad has a girlfriend and they are living together...and now she has someone living with her.

Thanks for your help. Dad is just concerned that she might relapse and put the children in danger. But I guess until something happens, he will just have to wait it out since he really has no grounds other than she is a past addict. They go back to court on the 8th. We will see what happens.

 

[Bloopy2]

Greenlady is mostly concerned because the mother is an ex drug user living with a drug user. It is extremely reasonable to believe that she is using again. I was responding to that part of her ost.

Okay, I do see where you were going with it.

But do you see a huge difference in the evidence your husband was able to provide and this gentleman's?

If Mom’s BF is a user and Dad can prove that, the worst that would happen is that she will be ordered to not cohabitate with him.

Dad needs proof that Mom is using and the “known drug user” is not enough.

his ex could only have unsupervised visitation if she passed drugs tests. Sorry for the confusion on that. It was sex months before she was compliant, hence 6 months before she could see her children unsupervised.

I'm not teasing you... I just love a good typo.

The judge was presented with enough evidence to order testing. It was Mom's non-compliance that kept her on supervised visits. Not Dad's suspicions.

 

[Bloopy2]

I know the cigarette thing is not a problem, I just find it amusing that mom specifically had that put in the agreement to keep dad from taking the children to his mother's house (since she is a heavy smoker) and now she is doing it herself. Also she had a clause put in the court order that neither parent is allowed to have overnight visitors while the children are present because dad has a girlfriend and they are living together...and now she has someone living with her.

Were you possibly Dad’s friend before the divorce was finalized? That often leads to a no cohabitation clause.

She’s still breaking the clause, but a judge won’t care in the same way he/she would if the parents were still married.

Dad can kiss the clause goodbye or welcome a new step dad into the kids’ lives.

 

[Farfalla]

?

But do you see a huge difference in the evidence your husband was able to provide and this gentleman's?

Absolutely.. .the OP asked “what [would] the noncustodial parent would have to do or show the court to have it done?” So I gave an example of a case I know about. Who knows, come day such evidence or even stronger evidence might come out. And the father needs to be cognizant enough to move when and if it happens.

If Mom’s BF is a user and Dad can prove that, the worst that would happen is that she will be ordered to not cohabitate with him.

And if such a situation is put on her and she breaks it, the father might be able to get the courts to give him custody to protect his children from being around drugs.

Dad needs proof that Mom is using and the “known drug user” is not enough.

You are right. Many drugs users do clean up their act for life. Though living with a druggy is not a good sign. Of course from the sounds of it… the mother was using before she had children so the father might also be a user. hmmmmmmm

I'm not teasing you... I just love a good typo.

Typo’s are a talent of mine.

The judge was presented with enough evidence to order testing. It was Mom's non-compliance that kept her on supervised visits. Not Dad's suspicions.

Yep that is the bottom line.
By the way, I was not round for all of this. I read it in the court papers. I met my husband AFTER the divorce was final. He got custody of their children.

 

[greenlady]

Were you possibly Dad’s friend before the divorce was finalized? That often leads to a no cohabitation clause.

She’s still breaking the clause, but a judge won’t care in the same way he/she would if the parents were still married.

Dad can kiss the clause goodbye or welcome a new step dad into the kids’ lives.

I did not know dad until they were no longer together...and they were never married.

And Dad is fine with her living with someone, he is just concerned about the drug issue and about the fact that mom took away his overnight visitation for 8 months due to the cohabitation issue after she had the court add it to the agreement and now she is doing the same thing.

And Farfella...mom's drug use was before dad met her. I can assure you he does not now nor has he ever used drugs.