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Drug testing for grandparents? IN

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cgriff44

Junior Member
Indiana


My daughter, who is currently 2 1/2, has not seen her father or paternal grandmother in one year. (March 10th is 1 year). Currently there is no court order saying I must send my daughter to visit father/grandmother, however father is on birth certificate.

After our daughter was born( father and I were not married) I was under the impression that I was legally obligated to send my daughter to visit with father, so we agreed to one day per week for about 6-8 hours. He asked for more time and I told him I was not comfortable with his marijuana habits around our child and so I would not send her for more time.

Saturday March 10th, 2018, while our daughter and his oldest daughter were in his care, there was an incident that took place where the oldest child was injured and medical attention was not sought by the father. He simply stated that "she would be going back to her mom soon anyways". The other mother called DCS to report the father.

When the incident happened, I also placed a call to DCS out of concern for our daughter's safety because I felt that their drug habits had played a part in the injury. I reported both the father and the paternal grandmother. I did not place a call to DCS sooner because I don't take a call to DCS lightly, and there was no incident yet, simply a he-said she-said, and I didn't want to be "that" mom.

The father ended up testing positive for marijuana and cocaine, and then tried to justify the cocaine+ as someone else's prescription medication, which he admitted he also took. The paternal grandmother refused to take a test, but the father admitted to DCS agents that his mother smokes marijuana almost daily, and that he purchases it for her sometimes.

The DCS case was substantiated for the other mother, but not for me since my daughter was not injured, even though she was in his care.

After speaking with the DCS agent, she advised that since there was no court order in place for visitation, that I did not have to, nor should I, continue to send my daughter to their homes unless a judge ordered it. Now knowing I was under no obligation to send her, I took that advice and cut all contact with the father and grandmother after weeks of multiple threats of going to court and no follow-through.

I will say, I did not intend to cut contact for this long because I was being threatened weekly with court. I thought this would have wrapped up months ago, but they have not taken me to court yet, and I'm still being threatened with court weekly. I have calls and voicemails from approx. 10 different numbers, as I have blocked their personal numbers because the calls were so numerous. I also asked the grandmother to not contact me 8 different times because it was not her place, but her son's, to talk to me. She's obviously continued to call anyway. I have not responded or answered calls since mid-march of 2018 to either one of them.

I have no objection to visitation with the father because I believe it's important for our child to have both parents. ( I moved back from MI to be closer to their family because of this!) However, his drug use is problematic and I do not want to jeopardize my child's safety because her dad would rather do drugs than be sober around his child.

Yesterday I received a 2:30 min long voicemail from the paternal grandmother ranting and threatening me with court by saying " Father doesn't have enough money to take you to court so I'M taking you for MY grandparent rights and no one else's". She told me I was an A**hole ( sorry I don't want to send my kid to a home where there are illegal substances and activities going on?) and that I had until Monday to call her back or else I was going to have a hell of a fight in court with her, and she would ask for the "MAXIMUM".

The way she spoke, and what she placed emphasis on felt rehearsed and I honestly feel like this is a ploy for the father to get parenting time with our daughter without having to be held accountable as a parent, both legally and financially. It also gets his foot in the door to say that he's spent time with her should he take me to court.

For the year our daughter visited her father, the father and grandmother lived across the street from each other (100 feet). She knew the exact time and day that our daughter would be there and she did not make it a priority to visit with or establish a relationship with her. She frequently took vacations and went out of town on the day she knew she'd be there.

I know I sound horrible, but I can't, out of good conscience, send my daughter to their homes knowing that I don't have to legally until a court order is established. I just want to know they're not using drugs around my child.



The dad and I going to court is a whole other set of questions, but this is what I have for the grandmother:

1. What is the maximum visitation she could be awarded?

2. Can I ask that she be drug tested prior to visits if she will be awarded any visitation?

3. Will she actually be awarded visitation even though her son does not pay child support or get time?

4. Can the father see our daughter if the grandmother is awarded visits?



Thank you for taking the time, and I appreciate any and all help.
 


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