drug use problems

[mikemiketen]

What is the name of your state? west virginia

I have been in a relationship for the last 2 years with my girlfriend. I have a daughter with an x girlfriend from 9 years ago..

Recently there was an issue where my x found out from my daughter that my girlfriend smoked marijuana. It was completely accidental that she found out. In fact, it was more that she saw Philly blunts and made a comment to her mother that my girlfriend smoked too, but she smoked cigars. Now, after I was verbally attacked by her mother, who indeed has smoked marijuana in the past when my daughter was 2 and was too young to know, she threatened that she would take me back to court after we have already come to a custody agreement. I honestly explained that indeed my girlfriend does smoke, but it has never been around my daughter, nor does she do it that often. I know its bad, and I have brought it up to her several times, but in the end it is her body and her problem. I can only try to be supportive and hope that it will eventually stop.

Now, my daughter has been upset with my girlfriend because there was an incident where my girlfriend expressed that she needed her but beat and to be punished for lying. We had a disagreement and a fight, but now my girlfriend and I have made up and were planning on going to counseling to work out our differences.

Based on the arguement though, my daughter has yet to forgive my girlfriend, and she doesn't want to be around her. My x is unforgiving as well, and has threatened to take me back to court so that my daughter doesn't have to come around my girlfriend.

Is there any way she can use the marijuana against me in court if its not me and its my girlfriend. She has also threatened to contact child protective services on me and my girlfriend. She has a 2 year old son, and my x is being relentless about this.

Someone Please help me!

 

[concernedmom4ki]

What is the name of your state? west virginia

I have been in a relationship for the last 2 years with my girlfriend. I have a daughter with an x girlfriend from 9 years ago..

Recently there was an issue where my x found out from my daughter that my girlfriend smoked marijuana. It was completely accidental that she found out. In fact, it was more that she saw Philly blunts and made a comment to her mother that my girlfriend smoked too, but she smoked cigars. Now, after I was verbally attacked by her mother, who indeed has smoked marijuana in the past when my daughter was 2 and was too young to know, she threatened that she would take me back to court after we have already come to a custody agreement. I honestly explained that indeed my girlfriend does smoke, but it has never been around my daughter, nor does she do it that often. I know its bad, and I have brought it up to her several times, but in the end it is her body and her problem. I can only try to be supportive and hope that it will eventually stop.

Now, my daughter has been upset with my girlfriend because there was an incident where my girlfriend expressed that she needed her but beat and to be punished for lying. We had a disagreement and a fight, but now my girlfriend and I have made up and were planning on going to counseling to work out our differences.

Based on the arguement though, my daughter has yet to forgive my girlfriend, and she doesn't want to be around her. My x is unforgiving as well, and has threatened to take me back to court so that my daughter doesn't have to come around my girlfriend.

Is there any way she can use the marijuana against me in court if its not me and its my girlfriend. She has also threatened to contact child protective services on me and my girlfriend. She has a 2 year old son, and my x is being relentless about this.

Someone Please help me!

First of all, yes it can be used against you because it is the environment that child is in when they are with you. Doesn't matter if it's you are not that uses. Sounds to me like you are trying to downplay this first of all. But, let's say you aren't.... sounds like you are making excuses for your girlfriend as to her use. If you don't agree with it, then why are you around it.
Children learn by their surroundings.

I would much rather see a mother that quit using before her child remembered it than have a parent or a girlfriend using it when they child DOES remember it and learns by that behavior and then goes on to use drugs as well! Just my opinion - but I believe the courts would look at that as they do drinking and frown...

Plus - the use may not happen around your daughter for now but the gf will become more comfortable around her and it will happen one day where the daughter is there - plus the daughter is not dumb. She will grow up and say - 'well, you can't say I can't use marijuana or cocaine for that matter because you didn't care that your girlfriend was using.. what's the difference?'

Aslo - you and your girlfriend are ALREADY arguing.. do you think that this is a good thing??? You aren't even married and you are arguing and now ggoing to COUNSELING>>> plus why in the world is your GIRLFRIEND telling you that a child needs to have her b* beat - she is NOT the parent!!!! Even a stepparent is not to discipline a child - they are a friend, a confidante (spell?) someone to chill with - and the parent is supposed to be the parent nt them!!! So tell her to bud out and mind her own business... to clean her act up so you don't lose your kid or break up with her because she obvioulsy doesn't care about you or your child 'cause she doesn't care if you lose her.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? west virginia

I have been in a relationship for the last 2 years with my girlfriend. I have a daughter with an x girlfriend from 9 years ago..

Recently there was an issue where my x found out from my daughter that my girlfriend smoked marijuana. It was completely accidental that she found out. In fact, it was more that she saw Philly blunts and made a comment to her mother that my girlfriend smoked too, but she smoked cigars. Now, after I was verbally attacked by her mother, who indeed has smoked marijuana in the past when my daughter was 2 and was too young to know, she threatened that she would take me back to court after we have already come to a custody agreement. I honestly explained that indeed my girlfriend does smoke, but it has never been around my daughter, nor does she do it that often. I know its bad, and I have brought it up to her several times, but in the end it is her body and her problem. I can only try to be supportive and hope that it will eventually stop.

Now, my daughter has been upset with my girlfriend because there was an incident where my girlfriend expressed that she needed her but beat and to be punished for lying. We had a disagreement and a fight, but now my girlfriend and I have made up and were planning on going to counseling to work out our differences.

Based on the arguement though, my daughter has yet to forgive my girlfriend, and she doesn't want to be around her. My x is unforgiving as well, and has threatened to take me back to court so that my daughter doesn't have to come around my girlfriend.

Is there any way she can use the marijuana against me in court if its not me and its my girlfriend. She has also threatened to contact child protective services on me and my girlfriend. She has a 2 year old son, and my x is being relentless about this.

Someone Please help me!

If someone told my child they needed their but beat and left drug paraphenalia around my child~ They'd be out of my life so fast their head would spin!

 

[BelizeBreeze]

You'd better make a choice right now.

Your daughter or a piece of free tail.

 

[concernedmom4ki]

If someone told my child they needed their but beat and left drug paraphenalia around my child~ They'd be out of my life so fast their head would spin!

YOU KNOW IT!!!

You'd better make a choice right now.

Your daughter or a piece of free tail.

My grandmother always told me
that you can find a piece of a$$ on any street corner,...
and a lawyer or any parent on this board will probably tell you that that little piece of as$ is going to cost you your child!!!

 

[mikemiketen]

okay

wv, okay i get what everyone is saying, but its not about a piece of ass. We have been together for almost 2 years, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I could give her an ultimatum?, but what good will that do. It will feel to her that I am taking the side of my x, and i'm sure all can understand how that can affect a relationship.

 

[LdiJ]

wv, okay i get what everyone is saying, but its not about a piece of ass. We have been together for almost 2 years, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I could give her an ultimatum?, but what good will that do. It will feel to her that I am taking the side of my x, and i'm sure all can understand how that can affect a relationship.

Look....the bottom line is that these things can be used against you. The bottom line is that if mom calls CPS it could also effect your girlfriend's custody of HER child.

Therefore, she would be very foolish to continue.....and you are taking a big risk yourself.

 

[casa]

wv, okay i get what everyone is saying, but its not about a piece of ass. We have been together for almost 2 years, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I could give her an ultimatum?, but what good will that do. It will feel to her that I am taking the side of my x, and i'm sure all can understand how that can affect a relationship.

Only if your g/f is not very bright It should look like (because it IS) you taking the side of your CHILD.

Your child deserves a drug-free and threat-free environment. If your g/f can't appreciate what is best for your child~ then she isn't stepmother material.

Also, as LdiJ addressed- this can also affect custody of your g/f child. Even if your g/f is too selfish to care about your child...surely she cares enough about her own to straighten up her act.

 

[Zephyr]

ok mikey- my ex's girlfriend used to do drugs, supposedly she does not anymore but just the thought of my son being there around a person like that and I am tense, I don't think your ex is wrong here.

how would you react if your kid came to your house and described drugs or drug paraphenalia that she had seen at her mom's? are you saying you would be ok with that?

you and your kid are family first, then you and your significant other, is your g/f going to place you above her child? I think not, but why don't you ask her.

 

[CJane]

It will feel to her that I am taking the side of my x, and i'm sure all can understand how that can affect a relationship.

Dude, the woman is using drugs IN YOUR HOUSE. She's leaving paraphenalia out where YOUR CHILD HAS ACCESS TO IT. She's threatening to BEAT your child. And you're concerned about how she feels when it comes to you saying "Look, it's time we acted like grownups and got this sh*t out of our lives"?????

You said your daughter hasn't forgiven your gfriend, and that she doesn't even want to be at your house right now. Can you honestly blame her? Have you given any thought at all to how your relationship with your girlfriend is affecting your relationship with your daughter??????

You don't deserve to be a parent.

 

[mikemiketen]

okay

wv

I have requested that she stop several times. The problem is, my x didn't even start using this against me until she was upset with my gf. She has known about the mari/for more than 6 months. She is only using it to get what she wants. This isn't the first time she has tried to use my daughter against me. I admit that my gf needs to fix the problem. I feel that way too, and if it doesn't work out I will know why. No I don't think she will put me before her son. Its hard to just stop caring about someone.

 

[casa]

wv

I have requested that she stop several times. The problem is, my x didn't even start using this against me until she was upset with my gf. She has known about the mari/for more than 6 months. She is only using it to get what she wants. This isn't the first time she has tried to use my daughter against me. I admit that my gf needs to fix the problem. I feel that way too, and if it doesn't work out I will know why. No I don't think she will put me before her son. Its hard to just stop caring about someone.

I don't know about that....if someone wasn't cooperating re; me being at risk of losing time with my children, then they would lose their attractiveness & appeal at warp speed.

 

[CJane]

wv

I have requested that she stop several times. The problem is, my x didn't even start using this against me until she was upset with my gf. She has known about the mari/for more than 6 months. She is only using it to get what she wants. This isn't the first time she has tried to use my daughter against me. I admit that my gf needs to fix the problem. I feel that way too, and if it doesn't work out I will know why. No I don't think she will put me before her son. Its hard to just stop caring about someone.

It doesn't matter WHY your ex wants to use this against you. The fact is, there aren't a lot of EASIER things to use against you. Your girlfriend is engaging in criminal activity with controlled substances in your home. Do you have ANY idea what would happen if your ex made ONE phone call to the drug task force hotline at the sherrif's office???

 

[BelizeBreeze]

wv

I have requested that she stop several times. The problem is, my x didn't even start using this against me until she was upset with my gf. She has known about the mari/for more than 6 months. She is only using it to get what she wants. This isn't the first time she has tried to use my daughter against me. I admit that my gf needs to fix the problem. I feel that way too, and if it doesn't work out I will know why. No I don't think she will put me before her son. Its hard to just stop caring about someone.

man grow some balls. Women are a dime a dozen. There is another one waiting around the next lamppost.

 

[VeronicaGia]

Playing the devils advocate....where is the proof? How is this posters ex going to prove the girlfriend does anything? Did I miss something? Is our posters ex going to put this child on the stand to testify against dad and his new girl to what amounts as hearsay?