Education vs my job??

[3UofMfans]

What is the name of your state? NC

I have posted some of my info previously. I am just wondering if a judge would put more weight on our childrens education versus my job.

Dad has the boys during the week and they are with me Friday and Saturday night. We had 50/50 parenting time and the oldest had a C average. Now (because of a lie ex told judge regarding status quo) they are with dad on school days and the oldest has an F, D and C's and even the youngest who was a B student is failing math.

I have never had the children all week and am requesting they be transferred to my school district. I would like the opportunity to help them.

I am not sure if a judge will look at my job as an asset or a detriment. I am a paramedic and work 24 hour shifts. I only work 3 out of 9 days. That leaves me a lot of time to get my children in tutoring (which they currently don't receive with dad because he felt therapy was a better alternative) and to be home after school to assist with school work. The few nights a month that I will not be here my parents will.

From your experience will a judge be more concerned with their education than my parents being here some of the time?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? NC

I have posted some of my info previously. I am just wondering if a judge would put more weight on our childrens education versus my job.

Dad has the boys during the week and they are with me Friday and Saturday night. We had 50/50 parenting time and the oldest had a C average. Now (because of a lie ex told judge regarding status quo) they are with dad on school days and the oldest has an F, D and C's and even the youngest who was a B student is failing math.

I have never had the children all week and am requesting they be transferred to my school district. I would like the opportunity to help them.

I am not sure if a judge will look at my job as an asset or a detriment. I am a paramedic and work 24 hour shifts. I only work 3 out of 9 days. That leaves me a lot of time to get my children in tutoring (which they currently don't receive with dad because he felt therapy was a better alternative) and to be home after school to assist with school work. The few nights a month that I will not be here my parents will.

From your experience will a judge be more concerned with their education than my parents being here some of the time?

How far apart do you and dad live? Why can't the kids be with dad when you are working?

 

[3UofMfans]

We live about 40 miles apart. We have tried doing 50/50. My oldest son did not do well in school then either. I gave dad the opportunity to try his way of having them on school nights. Grades got worse. Oldest has one more year of middle school after this year. I am just so worried that he will not be ready for HS. Dad and I completely disagree on what resources to use to help him. I want to enroll him in Sylvan (this was our agreement with the school years ago) dad put him in therapy in lieu of tutoring. Also dad does not want to be inconvenienced and won't drive here. Basically I just want the opportunity to see what I can do for them. I would like the schedule reversed so I have them on school days and dad has them every weekend. I have a 9 week rotation so my parents would be here on homework nights 11 nights in those 9 weeks.

 

[profmum]

What is the name of your state? NC

I have posted some of my info previously. I am just wondering if a judge would put more weight on our childrens education versus my job.

Dad has the boys during the week and they are with me Friday and Saturday night. We had 50/50 parenting time and the oldest had a C average. Now (because of a lie ex told judge regarding status quo) they are with dad on school days and the oldest has an F, D and C's and even the youngest who was a B student is failing math.

I have never had the children all week and am requesting they be transferred to my school district. I would like the opportunity to help them.

I am not sure if a judge will look at my job as an asset or a detriment. I am a paramedic and work 24 hour shifts. I only work 3 out of 9 days. That leaves me a lot of time to get my children in tutoring (which they currently don't receive with dad because he felt therapy was a better alternative) and to be home after school to assist with school work. The few nights a month that I will not be here my parents will.

From your experience will a judge be more concerned with their education than my parents being here some of the time?

I think if the kids grades are seriously failing, you can petition the courts for a change in parenting time. It will be hard to convince the judge that your parents are better caregivers than dad for the nights you dont work since dad really has them more than 50% of the time. I think you would be best served to try and work with Dad to allow for extra tutoring through Sylvan or take that issue to the courts first before flip flopping parenting time. I would definitely not try and battle, grandparents vs dad... not a winning battle

 

[3UofMfans]

While I am seeing OUTSIDE sources like Sylvan being tossed around, has any one of you even bothered to ask for assistance AT the school itself with a counselor or a tutor?

I spent over 6 years going back and forth with the school meeting with counselors, teachers, principals...anyone I could get to meet with us. My son has been tested for everything we could think of. There are limited resources available without having him in an IEP. I finally had a test done that allowed him to be entered into the IEP program at the beginning of last school year thru the hearing impaired. He really doesn't have but a slight hearing loss but it was enough to get him extra help These grades I have listed are since he has received help from the school. It is just not working for him. I think he is so far behind at this point that he has to have the tutoring. I am willing and have the time to do whatever is needed for them.

As far as dad vs grandparents....that is not what I am saying. Ex just doesn't want to do anything that inconveniences him. The point of my parents watching the kids is that they are not going to be with some random babysitter. They will be with family and will still be at my home. They will still have the same structured schedule when I am at work. I just want to help them so much but I have been taken out of the position of doing anything. Ex and his wife make all major decisions with total disregard for my opinion. In fact, he doesn't even ask for it. I am not saying he is a bad parent, it is just that what is being done now as far as the oldests education is just not working. I have so much time available to give him but can't. We tried it his way and it didn't work.