Twofishrwe
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? MA
Ok, this is a long story...and I hope I don't make things confusing.
I'm going to start from the beginning.....
My husband got married to his ex wife when they were 19 only a few months after their daughter was born. My husband went into the Army and then they had their second child, their son. My husband's ex wife left him while he was still in the army and took the kids back to MA with her. The kids were 2 and 3 1/2 at the time. Once the divorce was finalized, she remarried. The kids did not like the guy she married so they were sent to live with their grandparents (my husband's ex in laws).
My husband and his ex wife both have partial custody of the kids and he had to pay child support through the state. Since she was listed as the custodial parent, the checks went to her, but she never gave the money to her parents who were really taking care of the kids.
When my husband got out of the army, he went to school. He did not try to get his kids to come live with him because he was in school and could not give them the care and attention they needed. He wanted to get out of school, get a good job and then get them to come live with him. While this was going on, he met me and after being together for 5 years, we got married. His ex wife divorced her 2nd husband, never took the kids back from her parents, met a new guy and got pregnant with her 3rd child which she decided to keep. She left this guy when she was pregnant, met a new guy, and had her baby. She then lived with the new guy and her new baby. Her new baby had some medical problems. Her parents found out my husband's ex wife, their daughter, had started to do drugs with this new boyfriend, so they got emergency custody of her 3rd child. While going through all the legal stuff for this, my husband, his ex wife and his ex wife's father went to court and got him cleared of paying her child support since the kids don't live with her. My husband and the kid's grandfather made a verbal agreement regarding child support and my husband gave his ex inlaws (the kids grandparents) legal guardianship over them since they lived with them. The kids were asked if they wanted to live with us and they were not sure at the time. They were only 9 and 10 at the time.
Since all of that happened, my husband's ex wife has done drugs, gone missing, gone to live with his kids and the grandparents, taken off to do drugs again and then decided to get checked into a halfway house. Right before checking into the halfway house, she found out she was pregnant from the guy who got her into the drugs.
My step daughter who is 12, asked to come live with my husband and I last July. We fought with her grandparents over this because my step son was on the fence about coming and the grandparents also do not get along with my husband. We finally worked something out. We decided to not go for custody and leave things as they were, but have my step daughter move in, start school and see how she liked it before doing anything legally. We were also hoping that my step son would see how much she liked it and would then decide on his own to come as well. The grandparents insist on my step daughter visiting every other weekend. If that does not happen, then all hell breaks loose. She is not comfortable going there because it's emotionally draining for her. They constantly question her about how she is being taken care of and guilt her into visiting more. She basically has told us that the only reason she goes is to see her brother.
Well, my step daughter has been living with us for 6 months and loves it. She is getting all A's and B's, got Student of the month in October, has lots of friends, is involved in extra curricular activities and her teachers can't say enough good things about her. She also has grown very close with my family. She addresses my parents as grandparents and my brother as her uncle...my family is all her family in her eyes. She calls me Mom too because she says I deserved to be called Mom. She has told me that I've been more of a Mom to her than anyone else has. She even requested to go to therapy to learn how to deal with her emotional issues with her mom and grandparents...her dr. was blown away by her maturity to seek outside help when we were at her last physical. Her brother now has opened up to the idea of living with us as well. We were planning on moving him here in the summer and then getting full custody of the kids.
Well, this past month and a half has been very difficult for all of us. The kids Mom had her 4th child and she could not have the child while in the half way house so she is back living with her parents, which means she is around my step son all the time. My step daughter is not comfortable with the situation at all. She already did not like going to visit but now she really does not like it. It is very crowded in the house they live in and the conditions are not the best. The house is in bad condition, it has mold and they have mice and bugs there. Everyone is always sick.
This past weekend, my son was supposed to come here but it turned out he was sick and could not come. My step daughter had told them that she would not be going there next weekend because there was something she wanted to do here at home. They insisted on talking to my husband. They began to tell him that they think this whole thing is not working out because they think my step daughter is being influenced to not go there and visit and that she has changed too much. She is being influenced by us but not in a negative way. She is being influenced in positive ways....like to be true to her feelings and to be honest with others, but be polite about it. She is being taught that her feelings do matter and that it's important to say how she feels. How can they say it's not working out? She has come so far and has grown by leaps and bounds since she has been here. She is almost a teenager and is growing up! We never say anything negative to her about her grandparents or her mom. The way she feels is because of everything she has been through with them and she's trying to figure it out...going to therapy is a step in the right direction.
So now we are worried about my step son's well being. He's always sick, he's living there with his mom who should be in rehab. They don't teach him proper hygeine either...he could go a week without showering or brushing his teeth and they don't say boo. They also feed him junk all the time so he's beginning to be overweight and his dr has even commented on it.
We are just really worried...we want to get control over the situation the right way, which means legally getting full custody of both kids. We want to do it ASAP and do emergency custody because we don't want them trying to get my step daughter pulled back with them and we are worried about my step sons health and mental well being.
Do you think we have case here to go for emergency custody? I know it's the middle of the school year, but if my step son moves here, he'll go to the same school as his sister which would help him adjust a little better even though it's the middle of the school year. What would we do, just go to the courthouse and file paperwork? Unfortunately we don't have the money for a lawyer as we are in the process of buying a house.
Ok, this is a long story...and I hope I don't make things confusing.
I'm going to start from the beginning.....
My husband got married to his ex wife when they were 19 only a few months after their daughter was born. My husband went into the Army and then they had their second child, their son. My husband's ex wife left him while he was still in the army and took the kids back to MA with her. The kids were 2 and 3 1/2 at the time. Once the divorce was finalized, she remarried. The kids did not like the guy she married so they were sent to live with their grandparents (my husband's ex in laws).
My husband and his ex wife both have partial custody of the kids and he had to pay child support through the state. Since she was listed as the custodial parent, the checks went to her, but she never gave the money to her parents who were really taking care of the kids.
When my husband got out of the army, he went to school. He did not try to get his kids to come live with him because he was in school and could not give them the care and attention they needed. He wanted to get out of school, get a good job and then get them to come live with him. While this was going on, he met me and after being together for 5 years, we got married. His ex wife divorced her 2nd husband, never took the kids back from her parents, met a new guy and got pregnant with her 3rd child which she decided to keep. She left this guy when she was pregnant, met a new guy, and had her baby. She then lived with the new guy and her new baby. Her new baby had some medical problems. Her parents found out my husband's ex wife, their daughter, had started to do drugs with this new boyfriend, so they got emergency custody of her 3rd child. While going through all the legal stuff for this, my husband, his ex wife and his ex wife's father went to court and got him cleared of paying her child support since the kids don't live with her. My husband and the kid's grandfather made a verbal agreement regarding child support and my husband gave his ex inlaws (the kids grandparents) legal guardianship over them since they lived with them. The kids were asked if they wanted to live with us and they were not sure at the time. They were only 9 and 10 at the time.
Since all of that happened, my husband's ex wife has done drugs, gone missing, gone to live with his kids and the grandparents, taken off to do drugs again and then decided to get checked into a halfway house. Right before checking into the halfway house, she found out she was pregnant from the guy who got her into the drugs.
My step daughter who is 12, asked to come live with my husband and I last July. We fought with her grandparents over this because my step son was on the fence about coming and the grandparents also do not get along with my husband. We finally worked something out. We decided to not go for custody and leave things as they were, but have my step daughter move in, start school and see how she liked it before doing anything legally. We were also hoping that my step son would see how much she liked it and would then decide on his own to come as well. The grandparents insist on my step daughter visiting every other weekend. If that does not happen, then all hell breaks loose. She is not comfortable going there because it's emotionally draining for her. They constantly question her about how she is being taken care of and guilt her into visiting more. She basically has told us that the only reason she goes is to see her brother.
Well, my step daughter has been living with us for 6 months and loves it. She is getting all A's and B's, got Student of the month in October, has lots of friends, is involved in extra curricular activities and her teachers can't say enough good things about her. She also has grown very close with my family. She addresses my parents as grandparents and my brother as her uncle...my family is all her family in her eyes. She calls me Mom too because she says I deserved to be called Mom. She has told me that I've been more of a Mom to her than anyone else has. She even requested to go to therapy to learn how to deal with her emotional issues with her mom and grandparents...her dr. was blown away by her maturity to seek outside help when we were at her last physical. Her brother now has opened up to the idea of living with us as well. We were planning on moving him here in the summer and then getting full custody of the kids.
Well, this past month and a half has been very difficult for all of us. The kids Mom had her 4th child and she could not have the child while in the half way house so she is back living with her parents, which means she is around my step son all the time. My step daughter is not comfortable with the situation at all. She already did not like going to visit but now she really does not like it. It is very crowded in the house they live in and the conditions are not the best. The house is in bad condition, it has mold and they have mice and bugs there. Everyone is always sick.
This past weekend, my son was supposed to come here but it turned out he was sick and could not come. My step daughter had told them that she would not be going there next weekend because there was something she wanted to do here at home. They insisted on talking to my husband. They began to tell him that they think this whole thing is not working out because they think my step daughter is being influenced to not go there and visit and that she has changed too much. She is being influenced by us but not in a negative way. She is being influenced in positive ways....like to be true to her feelings and to be honest with others, but be polite about it. She is being taught that her feelings do matter and that it's important to say how she feels. How can they say it's not working out? She has come so far and has grown by leaps and bounds since she has been here. She is almost a teenager and is growing up! We never say anything negative to her about her grandparents or her mom. The way she feels is because of everything she has been through with them and she's trying to figure it out...going to therapy is a step in the right direction.
So now we are worried about my step son's well being. He's always sick, he's living there with his mom who should be in rehab. They don't teach him proper hygeine either...he could go a week without showering or brushing his teeth and they don't say boo. They also feed him junk all the time so he's beginning to be overweight and his dr has even commented on it.
We are just really worried...we want to get control over the situation the right way, which means legally getting full custody of both kids. We want to do it ASAP and do emergency custody because we don't want them trying to get my step daughter pulled back with them and we are worried about my step sons health and mental well being.
Do you think we have case here to go for emergency custody? I know it's the middle of the school year, but if my step son moves here, he'll go to the same school as his sister which would help him adjust a little better even though it's the middle of the school year. What would we do, just go to the courthouse and file paperwork? Unfortunately we don't have the money for a lawyer as we are in the process of buying a house.
