Enforcement of stipulations in custody agreement

[Jamillhouse]

California. I have a sole legal/physical custody of my children in California. My agreement states reasonable visitation. There is a stipulation for 2 months notice because their mother lived in Mississippi. She moved back to California, and verbally agreed to every other weekend a month ago. She lives with her father. He is saying and doing things to invalidate the childrens feelings and causing emotional harm. Can I enforce the 2 months notice in order to limit their exposure to their grandfather, or does that only apply to out of state visits?

 

[LdiJ]

California. I have a sole legal/physical custody of my children in California. My agreement states reasonable visitation. There is a stipulation for 2 months notice because their mother lived in Mississippi. She moved back to California, and verbally agreed to every other weekend a month ago. She lives with her father. He is saying and doing things to invalidate the childrens feelings and causing emotional harm. Can I enforce the 2 months notice in order to limit their exposure to their grandfather, or does that only apply to out of state visits?

You could, but you would only get away with it for as long as it would take mom to get to court to get a new schedule...and in the meantime, if mom had any smarts at all, she would give you two months notice that she will be exercising every other weekend, and there would be nothing that you could do about that. You would get a two months delay, but that would be all.

Can you be more specific about the types of things that grandpa is saying? We might be able to give you better advice on how to deal with that, than with trying to cut down mom's time.

 

[Jamillhouse]

Basically, she took off to another state in the middle of the night. She did talk to the kids via FaceTime 3-4 times a week for about 3-5 minutes at a time. I started seeing someone else and we eventually got married. My children really imprinted on her because of my wife's desire to act as mother to them. At my son's psychologist appointment, my son had some confusion as to what to call my new wife. He said he wanted to call her "mom" as did my daughter. My son has had some major psychological problems stemming from his mother's abrupt departure from his life and even more issues when she came back into it again. He has expressed that he doesn't feel safe with her alone, that he doesn't trust her, and that he doesn't like going to their house because her doesn't feel comfortable that he can express his feelings without being scolded about it. The main person doing this is the grandfather. He also tried to start a verbal altercation with me with them In earshot. He said some absolute nasty thing about myself, my wife, and their mother that they know they heard.

 

[Ohiogal]

Basically, she took off to another state in the middle of the night. She did talk to the kids via FaceTime 3-4 times a week for about 3-5 minutes at a time. I started seeing someone else and we eventually got married. My children really imprinted on her because of my wife's desire to act as mother to them. At my son's psychologist appointment, my son had some confusion as to what to call my new wife. He said he wanted to call her "mom" as did my daughter. My son has had some major psychological problems stemming from his mother's abrupt departure from his life and even more issues when she came back into it again. He has expressed that he doesn't feel safe with her alone, that he doesn't trust her, and that he doesn't like going to their house because her doesn't feel comfortable that he can express his feelings without being scolded about it. The main person doing this is the grandfather. He also tried to start a verbal altercation with me with them In earshot. He said some absolute nasty thing about myself, my wife, and their mother that they know they heard.

Based upon this, you should NEVER allowed your children the confusion. YOUR WIFE is NOT mom. You need to realize that and state that to your son and daughter. YOU are in the wrong for that issue. You can definitely face issues for alienation.

 

[LdiJ]

Basically, she took off to another state in the middle of the night. She did talk to the kids via FaceTime 3-4 times a week for about 3-5 minutes at a time. I started seeing someone else and we eventually got married. My children really imprinted on her because of my wife's desire to act as mother to them. At my son's psychologist appointment, my son had some confusion as to what to call my new wife. He said he wanted to call her "mom" as did my daughter. My son has had some major psychological problems stemming from his mother's abrupt departure from his life and even more issues when she came back into it again. He has expressed that he doesn't feel safe with her alone, that he doesn't trust her, and that he doesn't like going to their house because her doesn't feel comfortable that he can express his feelings without being scolded about it. The main person doing this is the grandfather. He also tried to start a verbal altercation with me with them In earshot. He said some absolute nasty thing about myself, my wife, and their mother that they know they heard.

Dad, you REALLY messed up. Most definitely messed up. So did your wife. She is not their mother and they never should have been allowed to "imprint" on her as a mother. She is another loving adult in their lives but she is not their mother. You have alienated the child from their mother. She may have caused part of the alienation herself, but you added to it, big time.

Now, once again, we might be able to help you with grandpa, but you have to tell us EXACTLY what feelings your son feels like he cannot express, and EXACTLY what grandpa says to him in response. Also, what was the verbal altercation with you about?

 

[latigo]

California. I have a sole legal/physical custody of my children in California. My agreement states reasonable visitation. There is a stipulation for 2 months notice because their mother lived in Mississippi. She moved back to California, and verbally agreed to every other weekend a month ago. She lives with her father. He is saying and doing things to invalidate the children's feelings and causing emotional harm. Can I enforce the 2 months notice in order to limit their exposure to their grandfather, or does that only apply to out of state visits?

Be realistic! The court is not going to require the mother to give you two months advance notice in order to visit with her children. Not now when the need for it no longer exist. So forget it.

Furthermore, attempting to enforce the two month notice provision is not the way to confront this issue of what you perceive as alienation. In these circumstances many children will learn how to work their parents. And you could very well be a victim. However, if you feel strongly that the visitations are injurious to the children's wellbeing, then you might ask their pediatrician to recommend a reputable specialist to interview the children.

But I think you are making too much of it and there is no threat that you kids are going to turn against you or that they will suffer permanent emotional damage. Why would they confide in you if grandpa has turned them against you?

And regarding the kids and your wife. If they want to call their stepmother "mom", so be it. Geez! Every time she steps outside Ohiogal runs back inside screaming "the sky is falling". And for Ld she couldn't produce a legal credential if you held a gun to her head.

 

[Just Blue]

Be realistic! The court is not going to require the mother to give you two months advance notice in order to visit with her children. Not now when the need for it no longer exist. So forget it.

Furthermore, attempting to enforce the two month notice provision is not the way to confront this issue of what you perceive as alienation. In these circumstances many children will learn how to work their parents. And you could very well be a victim. However, if you feel strongly that the visitations are injurious to the children's wellbeing, then you might ask their pediatrician to recommend a reputable specialist to interview the children.

But I think you are making too much of it and there is no threat that you kids are going to turn against you or that they will suffer permanent emotional damage. Why would they confide in you if grandpa has turned them against you?

And regarding the kids and your wife. If they want to call their stepmother "mom", so be it. Geez! Every time she steps outside Ohiogal runs back inside screaming "the sky is falling". And for Ld she couldn't produce a legal credential if you held a gun to her head.

When is the last time you represented a client in Family Court?

 

[Ohiogal]

Be realistic! The court is not going to require the mother to give you two months advance notice in order to visit with her children. Not now when the need for it no longer exist. So forget it.

Furthermore, attempting to enforce the two month notice provision is not the way to confront this issue of what you perceive as alienation. In these circumstances many children will learn how to work their parents. And you could very well be a victim. However, if you feel strongly that the visitations are injurious to the children's wellbeing, then you might ask their pediatrician to recommend a reputable specialist to interview the children.

But I think you are making too much of it and there is no threat that you kids are going to turn against you or that they will suffer permanent emotional damage. Why would they confide in you if grandpa has turned them against you?

And regarding the kids and your wife. If they want to call their stepmother "mom", so be it. Geez! Every time she steps outside Ohiogal runs back inside screaming "the sky is falling". And for Ld she couldn't produce a legal credential if you held a gun to her head.

And yet I have gotten third party no interference orders based upon what I stated and restraining orders as well. So , GEEZ, it is based on actual law. IT HAPPENS. Calling stepmom "mom" is NOT acceptable MANY places. If you actually practiced, you would comprehend that. I get that you don't practice law but have a law degree but until you actually have a clue? SHUT UP, Latigo. Or do you want to prove you actually have clients?