Everyone's Help please

[cdkbp12]

What is the name of your state? OK
Hi! Please help. I have to fly to OK in a few days to see a judge. My ex decided to go seek child support against me, eventhough I have been giving my child money all along.

Now the court says I have about $7000 in arrears to pay her. However, since we separated a few years ago, I have been paying several hundred $ per month to her bank account because she said my child needs money, which in understandable ( BUT she did not tell the state that.)

What is best? How do I ask the judge to lessen the arrears since I have been paying all this $$? Does my ex need to forgive the arrears or should I provide my bank stubs to the judge? How do I know the judge will be fair?

Should I mention that my ex is barely with my child since she works with her boyfriend my travelling on the road? Thanks for all your help!!!

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state? OK
Hi! Please help. I have to fly to OK in a few days to see a judge. My ex decided to go seek child support against me, eventhough I have been giving my child money all along.

Now the court says I have about $7000 in arrears to pay her. However, since we separated a few years ago, I have been paying several hundred $ per month to her bank account because she said my child needs money, which in understandable ( BUT she did not tell the state that.)

What is best? How do I ask the judge to lessen the arrears since I have been paying all this $$? Does my ex need to forgive the arrears or should I provide my bank stubs to the judge? How do I know the judge will be fair?

Should I mention that my ex is barely with my child since she works with her boyfriend my travelling on the road? Thanks for all your help!!!

Be prepared to explain why all the dough you paid was not a gift.

 

[cdkbp12]

I'm not sure I understand. Please explain.
I think that my ex basically wants my $$ now because I just married. She is not happy with her life.

 

[Silverplum]

http://ocse.acf.hhs.gov/ext/irg/sps/report.cfm?State=OK

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/index.php?PHPSESSID=a0d8d724945bf933e47c16bf4abf5a0a

There's a couple of links to get you started on figuring out your legal position.

For one thing, it would help if you had "child support" written on the memo section of checks. Anything in writing helps.

Good luck.

 

[cdkbp12]

You are right. I should have written CHILD SUPPORT on the memo line. I didn't think of it. I am just too nice and now it looks like I am extremely naive. I jus tnever thought that my ex would do all this to me. She was the one who said we shoudn't go to court, and that it could be handled as friends. Boy was I wrong.
Thanks!

 

[magic55]

Bring all your bank statements that show these transactions. If you have done this every month for a long period of time I dont think a judge will see it much diffrently then you. Best of luck.

 

[cdkbp12]

thank you!

 

[Ohiogal]

thank you!

Be prepared for a judge to tell you it was gift however.

 

[Becki C.]

in tennesssee where I live, the judge tells you that any money you give the custodial parent that does not go through the "proper child support office for keeping track of the support you send in" is automatically considered a "gift" to the custodial parent. good luck with your case. and pray.

 

[NCP Dad in TN]

I hope that if you can show statements, cancelled checks, etc. the judge will be lenient. Hopefully your ex will lean to the honest side as well.