Ex cancelling a previously agreed on custody schedule change last minute (Vacation).

[BuffettFan]

What is the name of your state? Kansas

Kansas is the state I'm in.

Ex and I share 50/50 custody with week on/week off. A month ago I asked permission for the kids to come over to my place a day early so we could catch an early morning flight. She agreed to this and I bought airline tickets for the kids and I as well as my sister.

Today one of my teenage kids calls me upset that their mothers told them they cannot come over a day early, which will cause us to miss our flights. It's going to be very expensive to change flights now last minute as well as modify hotel and car reservations.

No communication with me, and this is the second time she's been upset with me and is pulling back a temp parenting plan change out of the blue. She previously did this with another trip that I ultimately had to go on without my kids.

I have the previous permission via email.

What rights do I have in the next few days? Can I get an emergency order? Afterwards? Can I sue for damages?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Kansas

Kansas is the state I'm in.

Ex and I share 50/50 custody with week on/week off. A month ago I asked permission for the kids to come over to my place a day early so we could catch an early morning flight. She agreed to this and I bought airline tickets for the kids and I as well as my sister.

Today one of my teenage kids calls me upset that their mothers told them they cannot come over a day early, which will cause us to miss our flights. It's going to be very expensive to change flights now last minute as well as modify hotel and car reservations.

No communication with me, and this is the second time she's been upset with me and is pulling back a temp parenting plan change out of the blue. She previously did this with another trip that I ultimately had to go on without my kids.

I have the previous permission via email.

What rights do I have in the next few days? Can I get an emergency order? Afterwards? Can I sue for damages?

First, you need to speak directly to her about the unfairness of her decision and try to put your foot down with her. You could also try to negotiate a trade in days as well. If that doesn't get anywhere then you could try for an emergency order, but honestly, something like that generally isn't the purpose of an emergency order and the judge might react poorly to it. However, just getting the paperwork might make mom realize that she is being unfair and wrong.

How far apart to you and the children live? If they are teens/older kids then why can't you pick them up early in the morning?

 

[zddoodah]

I agree with the prior response. If you want to try and get some sort of emergency order before the end of the week, you need to get into an attorney's office ASAP tomorrow morning. You have written evidence of your ex agreeing to the change, yes?

 

[BuffettFan]

First, you need to speak directly to her about the unfairness of her decision and try to put your foot down with her. You could also try to negotiate a trade in days as well. If that doesn't get anywhere then you could try for an emergency order, but honestly, something like that generally isn't the purpose of an emergency order and the judge might react poorly to it. However, just getting the paperwork might make mom realize that she is being unfair and wrong.

How far apart to you and the children live? If they are teens/older kids then why can't you pick them up early in the morning?

Thank you for the response and advice!

We live no more than 1 mile apart. I'd love to pick them up in the morning, but their mother won't let them take any clothes or shoes (other than what they are wearing for the day) over to my house so they wouldn't be able to pack clothing for a week. The flight is also at 5:55am so we'd need to be on the road by 345AM to get to the airport. (45 miles away).

She did respond a few mins ago and tell me she wants to break the custody again and go from Tues to Tuesday, so I could have them now and they'd need to be back Tuesday. The flight and hotels are already booked for a Friday to Friday vacation.

 

[stealth2]

Well, you could pack for them, no? The teens should be able to get themselves (and any younger siblings?) up/ready for a 3:45 p/u.

Offer the Tuesday-Tuesday to start upon your return, returning the kids as per the current schedule, giving her the extra days from then until Tuesday (so you wouldn't get them back until the following Tuesday).

 

[adjusterjack]

She previously did this with another trip that I ultimately had to go on without my kids.

And you relied on her agreement again?

There's an old saying: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me."

She'll do it every time.

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[LdiJ]

Thank you for the response and advice!

We live no more than 1 mile apart. I'd love to pick them up in the morning, but their mother won't let them take any clothes or shoes (other than what they are wearing for the day) over to my house so they wouldn't be able to pack clothing for a week. The flight is also at 5:55am so we'd need to be on the road by 345AM to get to the airport. (45 miles away).

She did respond a few mins ago and tell me she wants to break the custody again and go from Tues to Tuesday, so I could have them now and they'd need to be back Tuesday. The flight and hotels are already booked for a Friday to Friday vacation.

Well, you could agree with the Tuesday to Tuesday and then just not give them back until you return from vacation. You have proof that she agreed to the vacation so there would be almost nothing she could do about that. I agree with Stealth, pack for them if you have to, even if you have to buy thrift shop clothes to do it. With a 50/50 timeshare they should have a full wardrobe at your house anyway.

 

[AlmostThere]

What does your child custody agreement say about swapping days?
Example: Must be in writing x day before swap.

If their mother won't let htme come over in time to pack, do it for them and expect to pick up a few things that you missed on your trip.