Ex getting evicted an other legal woes

[fburke]

What is the name of your state Massachusetts


My ex and I have Joint custody of our now 15 year old son. her having Physical…..we divorced when he was 7. for the most part things are fine between us no issues over the years that haven’t been worked out.

We are both remarried and have had other children her 1 and myself 2.

The situation now is she is in a spiral down hill. She has recently lost her job and her professional license for stealing, outside of this she has also been caught stealing and is going through litigation on that accusation..facing jail time and fines.

She has also recently separated form her second husband for "other reasons". She has no income with the exception of my child support and is having serious money issues; she is now facing eviction from her apartment with no place to go. She has used up all the favors her family can offer.

My question is when do I step in and take charge for my son. He is close to his mom and always has been, I am not looking to put him in a position that he has to choose her over me…nor do I want to look like the bad guy taking him away from his mom but I also have to be a parent and do what is in his best interest…this is also stated in our Divorce Agreement on file I quote;

“The husband and wife shall consult together from time to time in an effort to agree mutually on all matters pertaining to the child’s health and welfare education and upbringing with a view to arriving at a mutual harmonious policy the primary consideration shall be the child’s welfare rather than the desires or convenience of the other parent.”

I know that any move I make will be met with fierce retaliation from her whether it is in our son’s best interest or not. With her being out of work my child support is her only income, her second husband only works part time as a pizza guy. I have a good career and have always paid her a pretty good amount of money and this has been paid right to her without any Department of Revenue Interference, not sure of the situation between her second soon to be ex and ther child.

I have plenty of room at my home, my second wife and I own our own house in a nice middle class neighborhood she is also educated and has a good career, he would have his own bedroom as do his younger brother and sister, I do live in a different city about 10 miles away so it would mean a change of schools and a lifestyle change for him where he has always lived inner city apartments.

I’m just not sure where to go at this point. “In his best interest” could be interoperated in many different ways. Seeing his Mom heading to a rocky self inflected crash and burn is not my idea of an ideal situation to leave him in.

What would the process involve? Would I have to partition the court for physical custody? How difficult would this be? I have heard too many horror stories of dads getting burned by the courts.

Any input would be helpful

Thanks!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[snostar2]

If she becomes homeless, and does not allow your son to temporarily reside with you, then file an immediate ex parte for temporary sole physical custody. Are your son's otherr needs being met (such as food, clothing, ect.)?

 

[Isis1]

You know, everytime a parent got divorced, lost their job, got evicted, the state should swoop in and take the kids away. Right?

Dad, why don't you start helping instead of hurting? Point mom to temporary housing, offer to help find storage, offer to house the child for a month so she can focus on house/apartment/job hunting IF she needs it.

At this point, you are only assuming she doesn't have a plan.

 

[fburke]

Unfortunately she is not a person easy to reason with, she would not “willingly” let him come stay with me “short term” even if it would help out her immediate situation. This has already been suggested to her by members of her own family and she out right refused…they have actually reached out to me out of concern for him because she is refusing their help unless it's money…forget her ever taking any help from me.

His every day needs are met.. That has never been an issue, however there are other factors here also that are concerning me more about the environment that he living in right now.

Since the break up from her second husband she is going on a “wild streak”, disappearing early in the evening leaving my 15 year old to care for his 2 year old younger brother who has some development issues and needs.

She doesn’t come home until 2 or 3:00 in the morning sometimes intoxicated which my son has already voiced his concerns to her and has brought to my attention because he got nowhere with her he also is concerned that she is drinking too much too often…she refused to acknowledge this when I tried to talk with her about it.

This happens 3 or 4 times a week. She doesn’t have a cell phone so he has no way to contact her it needed, this is not a weekend binge either this is happening on school nights.

Please don’t misinterpret my concern over this. My son is 15 he is old enough to care for his younger brother for a few hours here and there if she was to go out. She does have a right to live her life but there is a certain amount of responsibility she needs to show to her children and doing this on school nights is irresponsible.

I want my son in a stable environment, and worry about things teenagers need to worry about. He should not have to worry about how late his mom comes home or how drunk she will be…or go to school tired because he had to get up several times to deal with his younger brother, that is a parents job.
I’m not trying to be mean to her, or tell her how to live her life. I just don’t want her life style affecting my son’s school and social life it’s already starting to be noticeable.

Her “plan”” is that a “miracle” will happen as it has in the past. Unfortunately this time she is in much deeper than she ever has been and the “miracle workers” which has been her family in the past can’t afford to help her this time.

I only see things getting worse for her in the immediate future, she is coing to hit botton this time. and the best way I can help her at this point would be to have my son come live with me. I can’t speak for her other soon to be ex husband and their child, I do not know where he is or what that situation is about, but that is not my fight.

 

[snostar2]

Then call CPS or file for physical custody. Make note, with the later you may get no where but lighter in the wallet.