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Ex has thrown out joint parenting agreement? What do I do?

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L

legallyjoint

Guest
What is the name of your state? What is the name of your state? Illinois

My ex and I have a joint parenting agreement that we both agreed to and signed at teh time of our divorce in a court of law in the State of IL. Before the ink was dry, she has been in my opinion (2 sides to everything) in contempt of court. She is telling me she doesn't have to do what I have requested as far as a mediator......she tells me not to worry about my girls grades in school.......dropping....telling me she is handling everything for me not to worry. I was and still am a very active daddy in my 3 girls lives......she will not communicate with me anything regarding my babies. School is fixing to start in our hometown and she is not registering my girls here and telling me sh doesn't know where they will be (school starts in 1 week). She has had a boyfriend since during the seperation......he has a daughter that for whatever reason, she is not allowed to see her mother........who knows that one.not my concern......anyway, her and I cannot talk.....I have sent her a reuqest asking for her to meet with em and an agreed upon "family counselor" in order to resolve issues....she has flat out refused......it is in our agreement that we will do this and she is refusing.....sad part....I pay a lot in child support and honestly do not mind paying it.........bottom line however is I cannot afford the $20,000 plus the lawyers are telling me it will take to fight her. I do not want to take my girls away, I just want to be involved...there are many other untouched issues that I ahve but for now I think this will suffice......my children are upset cause they don't want to leave their school adn their friends.....what am I to do? what rights do I ahve? Since she is in contempt (again 2 sides) shouldn't she have to pay for my attorney fees.....otherwise we wouldn't be having to go to court.....bottom line....what is truly best for the children? If you wanns know more and believe me there is......9 typed pages and 2 & 1/2 written pages of notes that I have relating to this contempt of the joint parenting agreement.. No I am not Super dad, but I only want what is best for the children and mom and dad arguing isn't.....what are my rights as a we both have joint legal custody with her having primary physical. PLEASE...someone help!
 


Whyte Noise

Senior Member
From what you have posted, it sounds like she is in violation of the court order. You can file contempt of court charges against her. Go to the county the divorce was filed and, and tell them you want to file either a Motion of Contempt, or a Motion to Show Cause. They should have the paperwork there, and someone can tell you how to fill it out.
 
L

legallyjoint

Guest
Thanks for your reply......I personally feel mom is trying to push me (dad) out. There is so much more that has not been written here, but how can one afford to take her to court all the time. Who will have to pay for her being in contempt? My girls do not want to leave their home town......they are all expressing desires to live with me.......everyone tells me that since I cannot prove her to be a unfit mother.....(No physical abuse) then it will be next to impossible for me to get custody....I do not want mom out of their life, I just want their mother to understand that even though they are children, they have a voice and they deserve to be heard. She and her boyfriend appear to have no regard for what the girls are thinking, feeling or wanting.....I understand that you cannt let the children run your life, but it should all be about them. Any assistance in this matter is deeply appreciated. I again cannot afford the lawyer cause I literally gaave my ex everything.....we didn't fight about a thing during the divorce process..it was only after the papers were signed that crap started happening.....none of out mutual friends can believe the change she has made since the divorce. She has no contact with our mutual friends....nor has she allowed them to contact her or my girls' friends to contact them or my girls to spend any time with their friends. HELP!
 
L

lcollins

Guest
You will intitially have to pay filing fees, and whatever costs are associated with filing a charge of contempt against her. If she is found guilty, you stand a very good chance of asking for reimburement of all legal fees incurred due to her violation of a court order. Whatever it takes, you need to fight her on this! Don't let her walk all over you now, or it will happen forever. Show her she can't do it, and you won't let her. Do you have joint legal custody? If so, you are just as entitled to information about the girls as she is. If you need legal help, try locating a Father's rights organization that may be able to help you fight her. From what you've described, you'd be a poster child for cause.
 
L

legallyjoint

Guest
Yes, lcollins I have joint legal custody with their mother having primary physical. Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought there would have been any problems between us when it came to the best interest of the children. Even during marriage counseling, the counselor (Pastor) could not believe that through the test they gave us that we were almost identical together with regard to the children adn be so far apart in our marriage. Thanks for all your replys and keep them coming.it sure helps to know that people understand and some have been there. Like I have said all alone..there are two sides to everything, but my ex isn't willing to even sit down and discuss any issue regarding the girls. Thanks again.
 

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