Ex has warrant and visitation is tonight!HELP

[candi4687]

Tennessee:
OK here are a few things leading up to the situation. I now live in KY with our children. He is trying to get custody of our children for my move without consent but I have sent him certified notice of the move a month ago. Besides that He has also moved and is working in Alabama. He is over $5,500 in arrears of child support. Last court date on January 25th they gave him one more chance to stay current with the payments. It was court ordered that he keep current or if he failed and got 1 week behind that the state would then in return issue a mittimus. It has now been a month since the state has received ANY money from him. He claims that he has sent in 3 money orders in the amount of $400 but they had supposedly sent him a return letter stating that there was not enough information on the money orders to proccess it to the case. I have called the state but they know nothing about this so they have issued the mittimus.

Since my ex is staying out of the state the cops have ask me what time our transfer of visitation was so that they could have him picked up before I get our children there so they don't have to witness their father being arrested. I had earlier been contacted by his mother telling me that he had ask that I drop the kids off with her because he could not meet me at our scheduled time(6pm on Friday).
I do not agree with this because of the cops are just waiting to arrest him. I contacted Shane at a number in Alabama given to me by his mother. He was irrate that I had gotten the number and said I had NO RIGHT to call him. I tried explaining that I just needed to know the time he could get at our meeting place with the kids but he could/would not tell me. He then just told me that he did not know what time he got off work and that I should take the kids there at 6pm and if I was not there(even if it were 9pm) when he arrived that he would have me arreested for contempt of not allowing him visitation. I legally have to show up for this visitation but I don't want our children to witness this mess. ANY ADVICE?!?!?!?

Sorry so long... just making sure there are enough facts to help answer me back.

 

[LdiJ]

Tennessee:
OK here are a few things leading up to the situation. I now live in KY with our children. He is trying to get custody of our children for my move without consent but I have sent him certified notice of the move a month ago. Besides that He has also moved and is working in Alabama. He is over $5,500 in arrears of child support. Last court date on January 25th they gave him one more chance to stay current with the payments. It was court ordered that he keep current or if he failed and got 1 week behind that the state would then in return issue a mittimus. It has now been a month since the state has received ANY money from him. He claims that he has sent in 3 money orders in the amount of $400 but they had supposedly sent him a return letter stating that there was not enough information on the money orders to proccess it to the case. I have called the state but they know nothing about this so they have issued the mittimus.

Since my ex is staying out of the state the cops have ask me what time our transfer of visitation was so that they could have him picked up before I get our children there so they don't have to witness their father being arrested. I had earlier been contacted by his mother telling me that he had ask that I drop the kids off with her because he could not meet me at our scheduled time(6pm on Friday).
I do not agree with this because of the cops are just waiting to arrest him. I contacted Shane at a number in Alabama given to me by his mother. He was irrate that I had gotten the number and said I had NO RIGHT to call him. I tried explaining that I just needed to know the time he could get at our meeting place with the kids but he could/would not tell me. He then just told me that he did not know what time he got off work and that I should take the kids there at 6pm and if I was not there(even if it were 9pm) when he arrived that he would have me arreested for contempt of not allowing him visitation. I legally have to show up for this visitation but I don't want our children to witness this mess. ANY ADVICE?!?!?!?

Sorry so long... just making sure there are enough facts to help answer me back.

Since you actually moved CLOSER to where he is living now than you were when you lived in KY, I don't know how he expects to make a case for keeping the kids in KY. I think he is going to end up looking foolish about that in court.

I don't think he has any intention of being at the meeting place. I think he probably knows full well that he may get arrested if he shows. Therefore you could go, and park someplace where the kids wouldn't witness anything, and then just simply check for him for a reasonable amount of time. No judge would expect you to wait for three hours. I wouldn't wait more than an hour at the most.

EDIT/CORRECTION

I misread her original post. I thought she move from KY to TN when its actually the reverse. Therefore she has moved farther away from the father. I still believe however that his case is somewhat weak since he moved out of state first.

 

[casa]

Tennessee:
OK here are a few things leading up to the situation. I now live in KY with our children. He is trying to get custody of our children for my move without consent but I have sent him certified notice of the move a month ago. Besides that He has also moved and is working in Alabama. He is over $5,500 in arrears of child support. Last court date on January 25th they gave him one more chance to stay current with the payments. It was court ordered that he keep current or if he failed and got 1 week behind that the state would then in return issue a mittimus. It has now been a month since the state has received ANY money from him. He claims that he has sent in 3 money orders in the amount of $400 but they had supposedly sent him a return letter stating that there was not enough information on the money orders to proccess it to the case. I have called the state but they know nothing about this so they have issued the mittimus.

Since my ex is staying out of the state the cops have ask me what time our transfer of visitation was so that they could have him picked up before I get our children there so they don't have to witness their father being arrested. I had earlier been contacted by his mother telling me that he had ask that I drop the kids off with her because he could not meet me at our scheduled time(6pm on Friday).
I do not agree with this because of the cops are just waiting to arrest him. I contacted Shane at a number in Alabama given to me by his mother. He was irrate that I had gotten the number and said I had NO RIGHT to call him. I tried explaining that I just needed to know the time he could get at our meeting place with the kids but he could/would not tell me. He then just told me that he did not know what time he got off work and that I should take the kids there at 6pm and if I was not there(even if it were 9pm) when he arrived that he would have me arreested for contempt of not allowing him visitation. I legally have to show up for this visitation but I don't want our children to witness this mess. ANY ADVICE?!?!?!?

Sorry so long... just making sure there are enough facts to help answer me back.

First of all your X can't have you arrested for contempt- He can file a police report that you did not allow visitation (but that would be only if he showed up at your residence and you did not allow him to pick them up- since your order states he is to pick them up from your house).

I would not agree to deliver them to his mother's house. If he files in court against you for contempt, file an affidavit citing the police officer's name and badge number and include the information that he had a warrant and they were telling you they were going to arrest him today- and you did not want your children to witness that. It's highly unlikely a judge will cite you for contempt based on those facts, and if he did it would likely be a verbal warning or admonishment.

If the police contact you again~ It's up to you whether you provide them the information of his intent to go to his mother's house and that address/phone number...or you may not want to be further involved. That's your judgement call.

 

[BL]

Why can't they pick him up at work ?

 

[LdiJ]

Why can't they pick him up at work ?

Because he is living and working in ALabama.

 

[Smarty Panties]

If I am reading this right, she didn't move closer, she moved farther away.She said she now lives in KY, names the state as TN (assuming that is where the court order originated or maybe where dad lives), he works in AL (could be he lives on the TN/AL border?) TN requires a 30 day notice of intent before the move. Did you do that?

Don't have a clue what to tell you about the pick up situation but I'm glad you don't want your kids to witness that. It does sound as if he knows he will get arrested.

 

[casa]

If I am reading this right, she didn't move closer, she moved farther away.She said she now lives in KY, names the state as TN (assuming that is where the court order originated or maybe where dad lives), he works in AL (could be he lives on the TN/AL border?) TN requires a 30 day notice of intent before the move. Did you do that?

Don't have a clue what to tell you about the pick up situation but I'm glad you don't want your kids to witness that. It does sound as if he knows he will get arrested.

She said she gave him certified notice a month ago- so sounds like she did follow TN requirement.

 

[candi4687]

Ok yes I moved to KY back in June of 2004 and he was notified of the move but at that time I was not aware of the move away law. Since the finding of this law I have sent the notification of our move even though he had not mentioned anything against it until he was threatened with jail again. He thinks that he can take me to court and get custody of our kids because I moved. He then in return moves himself to AL but still yet thinks he can gain custody ..I guess because he is GOD..lol
When we went to court the time before last the judge was told by him that I was keeping the children from him and it was ordered that I show up at an appointed place for visitation transfer(Sheriffs Dept. in TN) or he would hold me in contempt of court.
He is living and working in AL and there has been other times where he evaded the law and also attempted suicide to avoid a court date to when he was to be obtained to the jail there.
He lives about 38 miles from the border in AL and I live about 3 miles from the TN border in KY. Which makes no legal difference from my understanding. It's still crossing the state line either way it goes.
I did fail to comply with the law of intent to move before our actual move but he was personally notified and even gave the phone number but since then yes I have went ahead and sent the notification of the move. Matter of fact he has not petitioned that and the 30 day period ends 12 Feb 2005. Yes I was wrong I guess but only for the lack of knowledge of the law.
I just want to keep our children from seeing their dad placed in custody because he will already tell them that I had him sent to jail. I know this because he has our 6&4 yr olds saying that I am going to jail for kidnapping them. I don't know this is a CRAZY situation.
Thanks for your response.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Play all the games you want, you did kidnap your children when you moved across the state border in your attempt to keep the children from their father without proper notice. You at one time claimed that you moved because of ecconomic reasons, but you moved less than 100 miles, there is little difference so that was not the reason. You continulaly give all this stuff that is provocative not relevant and avoid the questions, one reason I have not reaponded to your posts.

You are a manipulative liar.

And who loses in your little game, YOUR CHILDREN!

 

[candi4687]

You are IGNORANT and obviously DON'T know me nor the TOTAL situation. I am sorry but after 24 counts of DV against my ex and constant threats of death YEAH I DECIDED TO LEAVE! Who would not????? I am sorry that you THINK I am like that but I dont really care. I did what HAD to be done and I did in Fact tell him of the move and he only had a problem or probably noticed that we had moved 7-8 months after we had been living here. Thats ok because since he is such a GREAT father he is awaiting going to jail and his dumbass thinks I can lose my kids for moving across state line when in fact he has done the SAME!!!! so call me what you want THINK what you want. The cops handled the situation and I had to sit there with my children for over an hour and he still never showed up even though I was told he was in town.. Thanks for those who try to see the real problem and help .. To hell with the rest. Thanks Again.

Note* to anyone who reads and responds to anything on here it is IMPOSSIBLE to state all the facts about a situation in a paragraph. Hell I have documentation of over 26 pages and thats just the Main points of what has happened.

By the way sorry to call you IGNORANT but for you to condem me just because I am in a tough situation and very frustrated just seems like a pathetic attempt to kick someone while they are down.

 

[stepmom&mom]

"I am sorry but after 24 counts of DV against my ex and constant threats of death YEAH I DECIDED TO LEAVE! Who would not?????"


You waited until the 24th time to do something about this??

 

[Gin25]

sometime's in a difficult situation it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You know you have to get out of it, but you just don't know how. You want to belive the promises that people make, and believe that things will change. I know people who have been in these situations. As far as moving your kids across the line....at least next time you'll know to check the laws first....but I don't blame you, and I feel for you, and I hope that things get better....You know you could have been vindictive and allowed your kids to see their dad get hauled off in a squad car but you didn't, and most people will disagree but I don't care what law I have to break to keep my kids from something like that. I hope everything works out.


-gin-

 

[candi4687]

Thanks Gin, Its A LOT different to say what you should do in a situation when you are not in it. I stayed with their father in hopes he would change and we could be a "happy family". I took physical and mental abuse from their father because I had made the choice to make my family with this man and at first he was good to the kids. Once he threatened our sons life if I did not do what he wanted THATs when I KNEW I had to leave. Look I don't want sympothy from anyone I realise I made mistakes in my life this is just one of the things I will deal with for the rest of my life. This is the reason why I get upset when people comment that I am not doing what is best for my children. Yes I moved across the state line but so did he now. Another thing is that I NEVER stated that the reason was soely because of the economic reasons. You know either way I go I realise that I will get condimed. I just would rather be condimed knowing that in my opinion our children are better off and wont have to see me get beat by their father. Also now I don't have to explain to our kids why their father would call or drive by our home cursing me and never even ask to speak with nor visit with the kids. This man lived about 8 minutes away before my move and had not saw the kids in 7-8 months. I have lived here for around 7 months now and the FIRST time he ask to see them I have had them there for every other weekend visitation. He even seems to think that since he does not(did not at the time) have a phone that I should bring down our children for him to see 2 days a week in replacment of a phone call. I have not ask for a dime as far as gas goes and I wont even though he has stated to me personally that the reason he started visiting our kids again was so that I would waste the child support he gives me on gas money! OK I am shutting up now. Comment all you people like but at least consider the things that you may not be aware of before jumping to conclusions.

 

[candi4687]

Just an update:

Their father was picked up and taken to jail on 15 FEB for the mittimus. Apparently he had sent in child support payments but upon doing so he did not apply enough information on the check to even know whom the money should go to. Hell he did not even sign his real name on the money order so therefore I consider this him still being at fault. I called up the state and made sure that the money was credited to the account from a lost one. In doing so they released him that same day. Even after making payments for over two years now him and his new wife don't even know the correct name of himself to put down to send in money orders to the state. He now CLAIMS that he is going to get me for false arrest...lol... sorry had to throw that one in for a good laugh.

Just to show the facts on this one the upon going to court last time he was ordered...."If respondent fails to make one weekly payment a mittimus shall issue without further order of the court" This was on 25 Jan. The first payment actually reaching the child support office was on the 11th FEB. Basically He went from his last payment on 19 Jan to 11 FEB.

** Since neither of us now live in the state of TN does that mean we can change jurisdiction or should I just leave it how it is now? Don't know if there is another law out there that I will be breaking for going through TN courts even though we don't live there!! Any information is appreciated.

 

[Gin25]

Candi
I have a friend who went through some of the same things you are going through.....As far as jurisdiction, I think you can leave it as it is, but the more important thing is making sure your kids don't have any underlying issues with all of the drama you guys have been through.....Have you considered a few family couseling sessions? Just a suggestion. Again, I wish you the best of luck and I hope things get better for you!!!