Ex is deployed and son may have ADHD

[pittrocks]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Just trying to get other opinions...my ex and I have joint custody of 2 kids, ages 6 and 4.

Ex was deployed overseas in 10/08, which resulted in my having primary custody until he

gets back. The six year old has shown some possible symptoms of ADHD for a couple of

years, but doctors wanted to wait to diagnose until he started school. Son's teachers say he is

extremely bright and funny, but the hyperactivity and impulsivity are a problem...he is

actually scheduled for a formal ADHD evaluation the end of this month. Ex is hard to

contact because of where he is. Since I wanted to make sure that the father knows

what's going on, I asked my attorney what to do. She said to send an e-mail (which he

may or may not be able to get) detailing why the teachers recommend the testing, and

confirm that certainly the father would want what was in the child's best interest, so

if in fact medication is required, he may be more willing to go along with it. Ex is some-

times difficult to deal with. I just want to avoid any problems regarding this if I can.

I know that since I have primary custody right now, as his mother, I should feel free to

make necessary medical decisions to help our son...any thoughts? Thanks

 

[Ohiogal]

Listen to your attorney. You may have primary custody but do you have joint legal? Because you do not have the right to dictate if you have joint legal.

 

[futuredust]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Just trying to get other opinions...my ex and I have joint custody of 2 kids, ages 6 and 4.

Ex was deployed overseas in 10/08, which resulted in my having primary custody until he

gets back. The six year old has shown some possible symptoms of ADHD for a couple of

years, but doctors wanted to wait to diagnose until he started school. Son's teachers say he is

extremely bright and funny, but the hyperactivity and impulsivity are a problem...he is

actually scheduled for a formal ADHD evaluation the end of this month. Ex is hard to

contact because of where he is. Since I wanted to make sure that the father knows

what's going on, I asked my attorney what to do. She said to send an e-mail (which he

may or may not be able to get) detailing why the teachers recommend the testing, and

confirm that certainly the father would want what was in the child's best interest, so

if in fact medication is required, he may be more willing to go along with it. Ex is some-

times difficult to deal with. I just want to avoid any problems regarding this if I can.

I know that since I have primary custody right now, as his mother, I should feel free to

make necessary medical decisions to help our son...any thoughts? Thanks

What were dads thoughts/feelings about the subject before he left.

When will dad be back, how often does he make contact since being deployed?


If there were an emergency, I am certain you would know how to contact the child's father. You can hardly "confirm" via an email he may or may not get by your own admission.

 

[Zigner]

This is a duplicate post/thread.

 

[pittrocks]

I'm sorry if you believe this is a duplicate post---I have not posted before today.

Uncertain date of return from deployment--at least 365 days.

Still have joint legal custody.

Father didn't really want to believe that child may have ADHD. I'm still hoping that child

might not, however of course will want to do what is recommended for the child.

Father contacts children by phone about once every 3 weeks--when we try to phone him it

doesn't go through all the time...he and the children send e-mails back and forth every

couple of weeks. I did send father an e-mail when the teacher first came to me about

the behavior, but he didn't respond. If there is an emergency regarding the kids while

father is away,

have to contact International Red Cross to get message to him.

Just didn't want to withhold anything from child while father is away if he chooses not to

respond to my communication. Child will be in 1st grade next year and he loves learning

and has a lot of friends; I didn't want there to be any detriment to him because he may or

may not have this disorder. Thanks so much

 

[my life is mine]

You can do a non emergency red cross message that he will surely get, when you call red cross let them know it is a non emergency but explain what you are doing and they will pass the message on, it may take a few days unlike a real emergency one which takes usually less than 24 hours.

 

[christina!!!]

I'm sorry if you believe this is a duplicate post---I have not posted before today.

Uncertain date of return from deployment--at least 365 days.

Still have joint legal custody.

Father didn't really want to believe that child may have ADHD. I'm still hoping that child

might not, however of course will want to do what is recommended for the child.

Father contacts children by phone about once every 3 weeks--when we try to phone him it




doesn't go through all the time...he and the children send e-mails back and forth every

couple of weeks. I did send father an e-mail when the teacher first came to me about

the behavior, but he didn't respond. If there is an emergency regarding the kids while

father is away,

have to contact International Red Cross to get message to him.

Just didn't want to withhold anything from child while father is away if he chooses not to

respond to my communication. Child will be in 1st grade next year and he loves learning

and has a lot of friends; I didn't want there to be any detriment to him because he may or may not have this disorder. Thanks so much

Sounds like you didnt even consider what ur ex had to say about his childs life. He has custody and rights just like you. If you really wanted him to know what was going on you would have made a better attempt to reach him over seas or not. This just didnt just pop up obviously you should have noticed this before.

 

[Monarch]

Sounds like you didnt even consider what ur ex had to say about his childs life. He has custody and rights just like you. If you really wanted him to know what was going on you would have made a better attempt to reach him over seas or not. This just didnt just pop up obviously you should have noticed this before.

She said she sent him an email back when the teacher first came to her about it. That is not the action of a parent who's trying to run around another parent.

Furthermore, she hasn't taken any action at this time. She is still attempting to contact him.

That's what I read at least -- so I fail to see where she "didn't even consider" what her ex had to say about his child's life. She is TRYING to contact him. But as we've all learned through these years of military action, it can be very difficult to contact active military members when they are deployed.

 

[CourtClerk]

Sounds like neither one of you newbies checked the date on this thread to see that it is DEAD.

STOP NECROPOSTING

 

[Monarch]

Sounds like neither one of you newbies checked the date on this thread to see that it is DEAD.

STOP NECROPOSTING

Sorry about that -- I actually *did* check the date, but read it incorrectly.

Necroposting -- new one on me but rather apt