Ex just had a baby

[billxxx_2005]

What is the name of your state? TEXAS

hey guys

hope I am not laughed at for this post, as it is very serious to me and I am not quite sure how to "proceed forward"

situation

Ex-Girlfriend of mine, who is on very good "post-breakup" (five years ago) terms with me, typically sends Happy Birthday emails and X-mas cards every year. Contact other than that is sporadic. She is aware, 100%, that our romantic relationship is over. In addition, she and I now live in different parts of the country.

Approx 10 months ago, I am at a training event in a major city and by coincidence, she is in the same town due to a seminar for her work. Yes, we go to dinner and that night, sexual activity occurs between us. At ALL TIMES, protection was used. This activity was entertainment-based, and not a "lets get back together" event, both of us clearly articulated that. Again, birth-control was used and this was clearly not a baby-making event by either party.

"Post-incident" (above), we have maintained email contact on a sporadic basis, and she has been in good spirits and at no point indicated anything was amiss.

Today, I get an email from her telling me she had a baby last month. This is within time frame of our evening together. It was (almost carbon copy->) "Don't know if you heard the news, I had a baby last month."

Couple of questions:

I am still digesting all of this. First of all, if this is my kid, WHY would she NOT say ANYTHING until AFTER the birth? Assuming its my kid, this seems abnormal and not consistent with what I would think is motherly behavior.

Second question, assuming its someone elses kid....again, why would she not say anything at all regarding this?

what rights do I have in this? Do I answer her emails or engage in phone calls? What sneaky stuff can some alimony lawyer be trying to do? Record phone calls? Etc etc

sorry for the long post, I am a little upset by all this

thanks

 

[eyemback]

What is the name of your state? TEXAS

hey guys

hope I am not laughed at for this post, as it is very serious to me and I am not quite sure how to "proceed forward"

situation

Ex-Girlfriend of mine, who is on very good "post-breakup" (five years ago) terms with me, typically sends Happy Birthday emails and X-mas cards every year. Contact other than that is sporadic. She is aware, 100%, that our romantic relationship is over. In addition, she and I now live in different parts of the country.

Approx 10 months ago, I am at a training event in a major city and by coincidence, she is in the same town due to a seminar for her work. Yes, we go to dinner and that night, sexual activity occurs between us. At ALL TIMES, protection was used. This activity was entertainment-based, and not a "lets get back together" event, both of us clearly articulated that. Again, birth-control was used and this was clearly not a baby-making event by either party.

"Post-incident" (above), we have maintained email contact on a sporadic basis, and she has been in good spirits and at no point indicated anything was amiss.

Today, I get an email from her telling me she had a baby last month. This is within time frame of our evening together. It was (almost carbon copy->) "Don't know if you heard the news, I had a baby last month."

Couple of questions:

I am still digesting all of this. First of all, if this is my kid, WHY would she NOT say ANYTHING until AFTER the birth? Assuming its my kid, this seems abnormal and not consistent with what I would think is motherly behavior.

Second question, assuming its someone elses kid....again, why would she not say anything at all regarding this?

what rights do I have in this? Do I answer her emails or engage in phone calls? What sneaky stuff can some alimony lawyer be trying to do? Record phone calls? Etc etc

sorry for the long post, I am a little upset by all this

thanks

Alimony? You two were never married. You have no rights to the child until appropriate DNA action is taken AND you are determined the biodad. You don't know if it's yours.

 

[nextwife]

If you were BOTH using protection, very likely this baby is not yours. But why not contact her and see if another man has signed the Paternity Affidavit?

Now, if it somehow IS yours, she can file for child support. You will then have the right to demand a DNA detrmination and if the test is possitive, you will be ordered to pay CS, and likely baby's health insurance and a share a daycare expenses.

You, in turn, will them have the right to file for joint legal custody and a visitation schedule.

Even if she fails to file, if she ever gets state assistance and you ARE the father, the state can later come after you for reimbursement

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? TEXAS

hey guys

hope I am not laughed at for this post, as it is very serious to me and I am not quite sure how to "proceed forward"

situation

Ex-Girlfriend of mine, who is on very good "post-breakup" (five years ago) terms with me, typically sends Happy Birthday emails and X-mas cards every year. Contact other than that is sporadic. She is aware, 100%, that our romantic relationship is over. In addition, she and I now live in different parts of the country.

Approx 10 months ago, I am at a training event in a major city and by coincidence, she is in the same town due to a seminar for her work. Yes, we go to dinner and that night, sexual activity occurs between us. At ALL TIMES, protection was used. This activity was entertainment-based, and not a "lets get back together" event, both of us clearly articulated that. Again, birth-control was used and this was clearly not a baby-making event by either party.

"Post-incident" (above), we have maintained email contact on a sporadic basis, and she has been in good spirits and at no point indicated anything was amiss.

Today, I get an email from her telling me she had a baby last month. This is within time frame of our evening together. It was (almost carbon copy->) "Don't know if you heard the news, I had a baby last month."

Couple of questions:

I am still digesting all of this. First of all, if this is my kid, WHY would she NOT say ANYTHING until AFTER the birth? Assuming its my kid, this seems abnormal and not consistent with what I would think is motherly behavior.

Second question, assuming its someone elses kid....again, why would she not say anything at all regarding this?

what rights do I have in this? Do I answer her emails or engage in phone calls? What sneaky stuff can some alimony lawyer be trying to do? Record phone calls? Etc etc

sorry for the long post, I am a little upset by all this

thanks

Take a big deep breath....and call her and talk to her about this.

Since you were both using protection you may not be the dad. If you are, she was probably thrown for a loop just as badly as you are...and couldn't decide whether or not to tell you.