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ex keeps sending me bills!

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kn56

Guest
What is the name of your state? colorado

I've been divorced for over 2 years now and have joint custody of our 15 yr old son. I am disabled and on an extremely limited income. My ex pays $70 a month for child support. He is re-married and lives in a $300 - 400,000 home. Our divorce decree states that our mutually agreed upon expenses for our child be split 50/50. He has taken it upon himself to spend excessive amounts of money on things he has never discussed with me, nor involved me in the decision making process. He continually presents me with bills demanding payment on 50% of these things, and threatens to take me to court if I dont pay. Also, our son has been caught using drugs and alcohol, and I my ex refuses to cooperate with me in seeking help for him. Since he carries the insurance on him, he refuses to give me the names of mental health providers and even stopped me from trying to get help for him on my own by threatening the councellor that they didnt have HIS permission to treat him. Can anyone help me?? Tell me what to do?
 


K

kn56

Guest
help please?

i posted a message yesterday, can someone respond please?

thanks
 

I AM ALWAYS LIABLE

Senior Member
TOP 10 bills my ex-husband expects me to pay - -

NUMBER 10: My son's prostitute charges.

NUMBER 9: My son's bills for his "good times" he has with his stepmother.

NUMBER 8: My son's Cable bill, and it only has the sex channels.

NUMBER 7: My son's restaurant bills from the Brown Derby.

NUMBER 6: My son's school billing where he learned step-by-step instructions on how a chicken becomes a McNugget.

NUMBER 5: My son's Casper the Friendly Ghost underwear.

NUMBER 4: My son's Lear jet fuel bill.

NUMBER 3: My son's diamond studded body piercings.

NUMBER 2: My son's loans from Vinnie Gambino.

AND, the NUMBER ONE bill my ex-husband expects me to pay - -

My son's drug-running trips to Europe!


IAAL
 
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I

Illinois Dad

Guest
Is your disability and fixed income situation something that happened subsequent to the divorce? Obviously, his financial situtation has improved dramatically since he was ordered to pay $70 per month for support...why not take him back into court for a support modification? Is there anything in the decree stating that both parents need to agree upon expenditures above a certain dollar amount? Is there a statement that each parent shall have unfettered access to medical and treatment records? If you want to get your son treatment for his drug and alcohol use, just do it. Do you not have an insurance card for him? You should. Just call the number on the card and ask what you need to do to get preapproval and find out names of providers that are in the network. If your ex won't give you an insurance card for your son, demand one in writing. When he doesn't give you one, call his employer and explain the situation to the HR person and they will get you one. The way I see it, the decree is the document that will be the Bible of who is responsible for what and you need to spell out every little detail therein. Most lawyers know this and see to it that their client will be covered in any possible scenario.

This is just another case of an ex spouse continuing to exert control by way of the purse strings. When you don't take action to take this control away from him and stand up for yourseld, you grant him vicotry after victory. Sitting there fretting and wringing your hands wondering what to do is getting you nowhere. There is only one person that can help you..and that is you. Go get 'em!
 
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Paperconcepts

Guest
Hey, did anybody think that maybe his new marriage was to a woman who has a decent job and makes good money? SHe is not financially responsible for his kids. If the poster feels her ex's salary has increased, then she needs to address that with him and/or the courts.
If insurance is not obtainable thru an employer, then she certainly has the option to contact the states CHIPS program and obtain insurance for the minor child there. Many employers no longer provide health insurance due to the cost (my employer stopped carrying it in June for that very reason) Any ex spouse should take great care in going behind an ex spouses back and going to their employer - some people have lost their jobs because of the harrassment an ex spouse can cause. My husbands ex used to do that and when she tried one of her little lawsuits, the employer was deposed and her dirty antics came out before the court.
And re: the extra things he is buying without discussing with you - maybe the decree needs to be more specific so there is no further problem.
 
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kn56

Guest
reply

my disability began befor the divorce, due to a severe auto accident which left me unable to work. it took major part in the reason for the divorce. my ex lied about his income and my lawyer didnt protect my rights as far as child support goes. I was awared $300 SSDI for my son since he was in the accident with me and my ex said that was part of my son's support, thus the reason he only pays $70. and yes his new wife is quite "well to do". I do plan on taking him back for modification of child support.

there is nothing in the decree that states that we must agree on expenses, just that our divorce is joint. we just both agree to supply things for our son. it's worded so un-directly. it's awful!

no statement in regards to medical anything, except that we are to be joint in decision making regarding our son. HA! it's taken me almost 5 months of trying to get even a copy of my sons insurance card! I contacted the insurance company for information and they refuse to give me any since I'm not the holder of the account. i just want names of dr's my son can go see. calling his work is not an option since his new wife is the holder of the policy. each time i attempt to get him counceling help, my ex contacts the provider and threatens them that it's not legal for them to treat him because they didnt have his permission. they then refuse to treat my son. no where in my decree does it state that my ex has to supply me with insurance info, just that he has to carry it for our son.

i totally agree on the 'control" issue, he's always been that way. is it possible to get a court order to have my son get medical treatment? and if he takes me to court on these bills he's been sending me, is there any recourse that I have?

I WILL not le this man intimadate me, nor beat me down any longer, i truly had enough of that, but i do want to help my child, he's the light of my life, and deserves a good life, and is crying out for help.
 
K

kn56

Guest
please help?

hi paperconcepts,
how do you get a decree updated? do you know?
 
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Paperconcepts

Guest
I always refer to decree as the court order for child support - whether that is correct "legal-eeze" I don't know, but that's the term we use here at home. But I do know that any time you feel an update needs to be done, then you file for modification. Each state has their perameters (sp) for when it can be done - i.e. every 3 years, or if there has been a 15%, 20%, 25%, etc. change in either party's income. The agency in your state that handles child support issues could tell you the specifics.
 
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legaleagle74

Guest
the courts will have little sympathy with you because you didn't understand your divorce settlement. You should have made sure you understood everything before you put your John Hancock on anything.

I agree with everyone who said to take him to court for child support modification. I am sure you would get an increase in CS. If his wife is the one who is making all the cash, it may not help you at all though, legally, she owes you nothing.


I hope you find a resolution to all of this, good luck to you!


PS- if you divorce decree says "joint" that's exactly what it means, you have to jointly pay all debts, and you can get in trouble for that if you don't!
 
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kn56

Guest
I sufferd head injuries in my auto accident and my lawyer was aware that I was unable to understand most of the things....but thats done and over with.....I'll check with child support services to see how to go about doing a modification, thanks again
 
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kn56

Guest
how do I find out how much my ex is making? does anyone know how to do this? so that i can file for a mod of child support?
 
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Illinois Dad

Guest
I don't think you really need to find that out. File for the modification and he will be required to submit an income/expense affadavit to the court which will detail his earnings. His tax returns for the past several years can be requested for evidentury discovery as well.
 
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kn56

Guest
thanks for your help, i do so appreciate it. do I request the tax returns? or does the court, cuz he lied on his first financial statement.
 
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kn56

Guest
oh ya and another question......if I seek help for my son in a "secretive" way, can he sue me or something? cuz my primary concern is to get help for him. just that each time I do and he finds out, he puts an end to it.
 

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