F
firebird01
Guest
Michigan
My husband’s ex wife may be moving out of state with their two daughters, and we need some advice on how to prevent this or how to get them back to Michigan if they do go.
I understand that Michigan has passed a law that says a custodial parent cannot move children more than 100 miles from the other parent without their consent, or without permission from a judge. This is where our situation gets complicated:
My husband and his ex divorced about 7 years ago, and at that time he was in the Army and stationed in North Carolina. They had been separated for over a year at that point, so she and the kids had never lived with him in NC (he was previously stationed in Germany where they had all lived together, but the ex eventually took the kids and moved back to Michigan before he was sent to NC his last 2 years of service).
So the divorce papers were filed through the NC courts, since my husband was living there at the time. He moved back to Michigan when he got out of the Army in 1997. The papers are very vague, and actually do not specifically state who has legal custody of the kids, and there is no mention of any visitation guidelines. The only thing outlined was the amount of child support that my husband was to pay her. I can’t remember the exact wording but it basically says that the kids currently reside with their mother and are in need of monthly support, and it gives the amount my husband and ex agreed upon for him to pay her. He was ordered to pay her directly each month, not through the FOTC. He has always paid her directly ever since, until this past November when the ex had the child support order modified to be under Michigan jurisdiction instead of NC, and for payments to be processed through the FOTC. Now he pays through weekly payroll deduction, which is better for everyone. However, we found out from the FOTC that they made her initiate the change of jurisdiction to Michigan so that her CS payments could be monitored by them, since she went on state aid for awhile about a year and half ago.
Anyway, there is a lot of crap I could go on and on about regarding this situation, but I don’t want to write forever – this will already be long enough. To sum it up, the ex has had a live-in boyfriend for 8 years, and they break up every now and then and get back together. They both drink too much and the ex is bi-polar, so they have had their share of troubles. They broke up again recently and he moved out, leaving behind the 6 year old the two of them have together. The ex didn’t have a phone for almost two years because she didn’t pay the bills, so it’s been difficult to keep in touch and make arrangements to see the kids. She got her phone turned on again in January of this year, and has been doing better at keeping in touch with my husband, and she lets him call the kids whenever he wants. During recent phone calls, she has told my husband about the boyfriend moving out, etc., and that she is having a hard time handling the kids alone. She wanted us to take them for a bit this summer, and my mother-in-law wants to get them for a month too. We have been trying to make arrangements for a babysitter this summer since we both work, but told her we’d make it work out. All we asked is that she give us a few days advance notice when she wants us to take the kids.
Well, in the past week, her phone has been shut off again and my husband can’t get in touch with his kids. His mom had the kids last weekend, and when she dropped them off at the ex’s, the ex told her the kids are now going to stay the summer with her mother in Tennessee. Then she switched her story and said it would only be for 4 weeks, but wouldn’t give a firm date or time period. She lied and said she told my husband about it already and that he was fine with it. We found out through relatives last year that the ex has thought of moving down to Tennessee, but she has never brought it up to my husband because she knows he won’t approve. We heard she received an eviction notice recently, and now with her phone being shut off, we fear she is planning to move down there with the kids. We feel she may be lying about sending the kids down there just for the summer, and that she may follow shortly after and stay there permanently. The fact that she has not mentioned any of this to my husband makes it suspicious. Also, between my husband's mother and us, we had planned to keep the kids most of the summer anyway, thus helping give her a break. So we can't help be suspicious now that she has dropped those plans and opted to send them so far away, without telling us.
She never finished high school and has difficulty keeping jobs, and has gotten into some legal trouble here in Michigan in the past. Now that the boyfriend has moved out and she is hurting financially, it makes sense that she would jump state and try to “start fresh”. She has lived by this pattern of running from her problems before.
So what step should we take next? We found this out last night and the kids are supposed to be leaving TOMORROW for Tennessee. We have no way of contacting the ex to find out where in Tennessee they will be staying or how to reach them. It may be true that they are only there for the summer, but we want to be prepared for the worst and know what to do if they don’t come back.
What rights does my husband have in this situation, even though the divorce papers don’t say anything about what type of visitation he deserves, and custody issues aren’t outlined either. If the ex moves , she will have to notify the FOTC of a forwarding address if she wants her checks. So will the FOTC automatically notify my husband, and is there anything they can do to help get her back to Michigan if she moves? Does the ex need my husband’s consent on this??
Any advice would be appreciated. Also, I’d be glad to fill in any blanks if I’ve left out pertinent info on this situation.
My husband’s ex wife may be moving out of state with their two daughters, and we need some advice on how to prevent this or how to get them back to Michigan if they do go.
I understand that Michigan has passed a law that says a custodial parent cannot move children more than 100 miles from the other parent without their consent, or without permission from a judge. This is where our situation gets complicated:
My husband and his ex divorced about 7 years ago, and at that time he was in the Army and stationed in North Carolina. They had been separated for over a year at that point, so she and the kids had never lived with him in NC (he was previously stationed in Germany where they had all lived together, but the ex eventually took the kids and moved back to Michigan before he was sent to NC his last 2 years of service).
So the divorce papers were filed through the NC courts, since my husband was living there at the time. He moved back to Michigan when he got out of the Army in 1997. The papers are very vague, and actually do not specifically state who has legal custody of the kids, and there is no mention of any visitation guidelines. The only thing outlined was the amount of child support that my husband was to pay her. I can’t remember the exact wording but it basically says that the kids currently reside with their mother and are in need of monthly support, and it gives the amount my husband and ex agreed upon for him to pay her. He was ordered to pay her directly each month, not through the FOTC. He has always paid her directly ever since, until this past November when the ex had the child support order modified to be under Michigan jurisdiction instead of NC, and for payments to be processed through the FOTC. Now he pays through weekly payroll deduction, which is better for everyone. However, we found out from the FOTC that they made her initiate the change of jurisdiction to Michigan so that her CS payments could be monitored by them, since she went on state aid for awhile about a year and half ago.
Anyway, there is a lot of crap I could go on and on about regarding this situation, but I don’t want to write forever – this will already be long enough. To sum it up, the ex has had a live-in boyfriend for 8 years, and they break up every now and then and get back together. They both drink too much and the ex is bi-polar, so they have had their share of troubles. They broke up again recently and he moved out, leaving behind the 6 year old the two of them have together. The ex didn’t have a phone for almost two years because she didn’t pay the bills, so it’s been difficult to keep in touch and make arrangements to see the kids. She got her phone turned on again in January of this year, and has been doing better at keeping in touch with my husband, and she lets him call the kids whenever he wants. During recent phone calls, she has told my husband about the boyfriend moving out, etc., and that she is having a hard time handling the kids alone. She wanted us to take them for a bit this summer, and my mother-in-law wants to get them for a month too. We have been trying to make arrangements for a babysitter this summer since we both work, but told her we’d make it work out. All we asked is that she give us a few days advance notice when she wants us to take the kids.
Well, in the past week, her phone has been shut off again and my husband can’t get in touch with his kids. His mom had the kids last weekend, and when she dropped them off at the ex’s, the ex told her the kids are now going to stay the summer with her mother in Tennessee. Then she switched her story and said it would only be for 4 weeks, but wouldn’t give a firm date or time period. She lied and said she told my husband about it already and that he was fine with it. We found out through relatives last year that the ex has thought of moving down to Tennessee, but she has never brought it up to my husband because she knows he won’t approve. We heard she received an eviction notice recently, and now with her phone being shut off, we fear she is planning to move down there with the kids. We feel she may be lying about sending the kids down there just for the summer, and that she may follow shortly after and stay there permanently. The fact that she has not mentioned any of this to my husband makes it suspicious. Also, between my husband's mother and us, we had planned to keep the kids most of the summer anyway, thus helping give her a break. So we can't help be suspicious now that she has dropped those plans and opted to send them so far away, without telling us.
She never finished high school and has difficulty keeping jobs, and has gotten into some legal trouble here in Michigan in the past. Now that the boyfriend has moved out and she is hurting financially, it makes sense that she would jump state and try to “start fresh”. She has lived by this pattern of running from her problems before.
So what step should we take next? We found this out last night and the kids are supposed to be leaving TOMORROW for Tennessee. We have no way of contacting the ex to find out where in Tennessee they will be staying or how to reach them. It may be true that they are only there for the summer, but we want to be prepared for the worst and know what to do if they don’t come back.
What rights does my husband have in this situation, even though the divorce papers don’t say anything about what type of visitation he deserves, and custody issues aren’t outlined either. If the ex moves , she will have to notify the FOTC of a forwarding address if she wants her checks. So will the FOTC automatically notify my husband, and is there anything they can do to help get her back to Michigan if she moves? Does the ex need my husband’s consent on this??
Any advice would be appreciated. Also, I’d be glad to fill in any blanks if I’ve left out pertinent info on this situation.