Ex reappeared after 12 years and wants money

[juansupreme]

What is the name of your state? NY. Ex lives in CA now.

Hi I have a 15 year old. I got married ni NYC, divorced in NYC 13 years ago, I was told by judge to pay $35 a week in child support. ex went to TX and told me I will never ever see my kid again. no fowarding adderess or nothing.

I tried 1800 USSEARCH but they could not find her in 1998.

my sister knew a private eye and he found my son in CA in 2003.
4 kids and 2 other husband later Ex wants back child support. I'm paying $400 a month she wants more......cause times are bad for her. I'm not lotto


She left NY where we go divorced. she has full custody. what can I do cause I feel that it is unfair

 

[VeronicaGia]

If you were court ordered 13 years ago to pay support and you have not paid, you will have to pay. A court order isn't something you can decide whether or not you want to follow, that's why it's called an order.

So what she is wanting is ongoing support plus arrears. And she will likely get it, unless you can prove you've been paying all this time.

 

[juansupreme]

You mean even if she leaves the state where we were divorced which is NY, and does not give a fowarding address so I can send any support to my child. and reappears 13 years later after 2 other failed marriges and 3 other kids and wants me to pay 13 years of support. I don't have $17000 I only have a part time job and a high school GED...I don't make alot.

Isn't there a rule that you can't just leave the state and not tell anyone with the child?

what can I do? I have not seen my son in 15 years, he is 15.
she never gave me an address to send support. I thought that I would never see him again and I still don't. I love my only child...

Can I take her to court for disappearing on me?
just cause one parent has full custody, does that mean that the other parent doesn't count anymore?

 

[stealth2]

What steps have you taken over the past 15 years to find them? That could make a huge difference.

 

[VeronicaGia]

You mean even if she leaves the state where we were divorced which is NY, and does not give a fowarding address so I can send any support to my child. and reappears 13 years later after 2 other failed marriges and 3 other kids and wants me to pay 13 years of support.

**Yes, that's exactly what I mean. She can, and a judge may very well order you to pay. You need an attorney who can explain "Laches" to you and see if you can try to use that as a defense.

I don't have $17000 I only have a part time job and a high school GED...I don't make alot.

**The judge won't care. Sorry, but that's how it is. Even if you're living in a box on the streets, the court expects you to pay.

Isn't there a rule that you can't just leave the state and not tell anyone with the child?

**Some states have that rule, but you'd have to go back 13 years and see if there were any laws then regarding this. It's doubtful.

what can I do? I have not seen my son in 15 years, he is 15.
she never gave me an address to send support. I thought that I would never see him again and I still don't. I love my only child...

**If there was a court order, you were likely ordered to pay through the Child Support Enforcement Agency. It is up to them to get her the money, and then you'd have proof that you paid. Or were you ordered to pay her directly?


Can I take her to court for disappearing on me?
just cause one parent has full custody, does that mean that the other parent doesn't count anymore?

**Like Stealth said, what steps have you taken to find her and your child in all these years? What proof do you have that you even tried to find them, tried to send support, etc.?

 

[hjallge]

In the divorce decree are there specific guidlines spelled out for visitation? Did the papers say anything about relocating or changing the domicile of the child? And, if you were ordered to pay $35 a week in child support, why did you not put the money in an account for your child that way it would be there when you did find your son?

 

[juansupreme]

nothing 'bout visitation, nothing 'bout relocation
Iwas very depressed and angry. I thought that I would never see him again. My friend hired a private eye and they found my 14 year old son using his SS#. my ex's credential were false. I use 1800 us search and they said that my ex's info did not exist for that name and that the only one fittng that discription was someone else in boston, I called the person but it was not her.