ex suing for primary custody and child support

[cheleb95]

I am in New Hampshire and my 11 year old daughter decided to go and live with her dad. My ex and I agreed and verbally agreed that while she was there I would not pay child support. I am a stay at home mom with 2 boys who are 2 and 5. He also would not have to pay child support to me. He is now petitioning to get full physical and wants to make me go to work full time to pay child support to him. Can he do this. My husband works very hard in order to allow me to stay at home with all the children.

 

[tigger22472]

my first question to you would be did your ex pay you child support while your daughter was in your care?

 

[Grandma B]

Though you didn't actually say so, I got the impression that your current husband, not your ex, is the father of your sons.

Since you agreed to let your daughter live with her father, there's not much doubt that he will be awarded custody of her. If you gave your daughter to him without a fight, shame on you!

While he cannot force you to go to work, the court will most likely impute a salary for you and award him support based on that imputed amount. You'll either have to get a job or take the child support payments out of your monthly budget.

Sorry, but both parents owe it to their children to provide for their needs. When a CP relinquishes custody, it becomes their turn to pay.

 

[cheleb95]

ex suing

yes my husband is the father of our 2 sons and yes my ex did pay child support I did not want my daughter to go but she was adimant that she wanted to go and she was having some issues at school and such and we all agreed that maybe trying a new school would be good for her. she never had any idea what it was like to live with her father we left when she was 1. he has filed papers stating he wants me ordered back to work full time to pay child support. there is absolutely no reason she cant come home i thought i was doing the right thing by her also we her father and i had a verbal agreement that he wouldnt come after me for child support.............so much for his word as usual!!!

 

[tigger22472]

i don't believe he can order you back to work however i have to agree that you should pay child support. I'm sure that you expected it from him when your daughter was with you. If he doesn't want or need the support it's one thing but since he's asked for it you owe it to him. Sorry

 

[julhurt]

I have first hand info on this, we are doing the exact same thing with my husband's ex. He came to live with us 1 year ago, she said no support but never filed with the courts, so now it looks like he owes her for a year. He filed for custody and support from her, dismissal of what he owed since the boy lived here and support from her from that time. We are told we should have no trouble being awarded everything and if she can't afford it, the judge will tell her to get a second job, she does work, but will need to pay back support for a year.

 

[kat1963]

Oh no! If he didn't pay you support you'd be right back in court wouldn't you? Maybe he wanted to be a SAHD for the past whatever years...would you have allowed this? Sorry, but you are just as responsible for supporting your child as he was. It's a two way street. My suggestion is, that if you have no marketable skills, to look at the state guidelines for minimum support. Probably like 25 a week or 65 month or something up that alley. If you have had a job recently, look towards the guidelines for what you could be ordered to pay. Then find a way to prepare to pay it and start saving now before it gets to court. If you aren't using coupons, get the scissors out (heck, I save about 50-75 a week just doing that!). Look into a few click/reward programs to do on the internet, trade on garage sale boards and sell on e-bay. You could also work a few hours in the evening or the weekend to help provide for your child. If your car has payments, sell it and get something less expensive. It depends on your state if the judge can order you to work...most just order to pay, how thats done is up to you. Recently a SAHM friend of mine was ordered to pay $300. here in VA....luckily she was able to compromise with her ex and they have now worked it out where it benefits everyone. If there is anyway you can talk to your ex, I suggest you do it.

KAT

KAT