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ex wants custody because I am working 2nd shift

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smccance

Guest
What is the name of your state? Illinois
I am currently the primary parent of my 6 year old .I got a new job where I get changed from shift to shift and now I am working 2nd shift.My ex has no job no health insurance but is going to school and says he will be able to be there for my son to take him to school and pick him up and I will not because of my shift.I am remarried and he is living with a girl my husband will be here to care for my child when I work. Is that legal grounds to change custody of a child?
 


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hjallge

Guest
No, he can only modify custody if there is a substantial change of circumstances. Changing shifts on your job does not give him a leg to stand on. Don't worry about it. He will be wasting time and money for nothing.
 
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smccance

Guest
I have been told that by several people but I am glad to hear it from you.I went to a deposition today and that is all that his attorney has to use and that I got married and moved 35 miles from his dad.Do you think that will make a difference? thank you for your reply.
 

ktarra617

Member
If that is all his lawyer has to stand on I wouldn't worry about it. they must prove a significant change in circumstances. Moving 35 miles away is not a significant change, getting a job that moved you to second shift is not a significant change, and getting married is not significant to change custody. He's wasting his time.

However you might want to consider letting him have some extra time, just incase he's feeling like he's getting the raw end of the deal. Wouldn't hurt to let your son spend some extra time with dad, would it?
 

karma1

Senior Member
I agree with Kat...

why not let this be an opportunity for child to spend time with dad-maybe let him pick him up from school til 7 or so a couple of days a week? He can help with homework, etc...
35 miles is not that far away that this cannot be worked out.
Remember, although it is nice your hubby is going to take care of the child, he has no legal rights and his dad should be allowed to be with him more...
JMO
 
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smccance

Guest
I agree with you , he does need to be with his father. I tried to call him and ask him if he would like to work something out where he could still see my son during the week and he said no he was going to get custody of him. I also let him stay at his dads for the summer and I get him every other weekend. thank you for your reply. I go to court next week and I am really nervous.
 

tammy8

Senior Member
I don't understand what you mean by offereing him the evenings (all evenings or just until 7pm?). Wouldn't that be considered at least joint custody? If you are working 2nd shift, why not let him stay with his Daddy during the week because oviously your child would be asleep when you get home at night. I think it is wrong to consider a stepfather watching the child day in and day out over the biofather. Now if was a schedule where you were working 3rd shift I could understand better because the child would be asleep while you worked but 2nd shift is a lot of waking hours that a child could be with the natural parent instead of a VERY NEW step parent.
 

kat1963

Senior Member
It's not what you are going to want to hear, but here goes. If I were you I'd work up a 50/50 parenting plan (there are plenty of these formats available on line!) and see what he says. There is a significant change in circumstances, by working second shift, this limits your parenting time with your child. Why would a judge allow this to continue when presented before him is a biological father who is more then willing to fill his parental responsibility in seeing that the child comes home from school, does his homework, eats dinner, has bedtime stories ect? At the very least, he could walk out of the court room with *right of first refusal*. Which means that when you are working ect. and unable to care for the child yourself he has the right to take the child before other arrangements are made. Of course he's going to do this on a daily basis, which means you would probably only get to see your child on the weekends. Six months of this and there is a clear cut case for a change of primary custody & support.
No one here has a crystal ball that really works. It's going to be up to the judge...who as we know, each have their own adgenda's....and let's face it, your ex has nothing to lose, but everything to gain by filing.
I know you are scared...been there, done that. You have to breathe & hope for the best...
Good Luck!
KAT
 
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smccance

Guest
The 2nd shift is not a permanent thing I have been on day shift for four months.I work at the prison and I get bumped back and fourth because of my seniorty.They will be hiring more people and I will be able to work dayshift or midnights.I do not want to give up my custody because of a temporary situation.Besides that he doesnt have a job now and what if when he finds a job he will not be able to be there all the tiime. He wants me to provide health insurance and pay child support so he doesnt have to work. He wants full custody of our son and I tried to work somrthing out with him he doesnt want to he just wants to get custody of him.
 
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smccance

Guest
I have been at this job for a year and I have been getting bumped like this since I got the job. He didnt say anything about this until I got married and moved two months ago.He told my attorney at the deposition that he didnt have a problem with the way our son was being raised or with my new husband.He also told him that he didnt think that there waas a problem with my working different shifts until I moves.
 

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