EX WANTS TO KEEP KIDS & HAVE FULL CUSTODY

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Divorced in CA in 92 w/ ex paying $500 per court ordered. Ex moved to VA. He paid me $500 until 94-95 when he pleaded that he is having a new family that if he can just pay half. I agreed..I felt sorry for him. In 96, oldest dau went to visit & decided to be with Dad for a while. We agreed verbally he doesn't have to pay me child support since we both each have a child. Christmas 99, younger dau visited him and wants to stay with Dad. I reluctanly agreed but she said she wants to spend time with sister. I have been sending $250 since Dec 99 and cut it off temporary in July 00 bec I had to quit my job. I work as a freelance loan officer now and just starting out. My income compared to 98 & 99 has dropped 50%. He is very upset that I have not send $250 & he threatened to take me to VA court and have them pay me back child support. I had recently rec'd a request for foreign custoday order fr VA via certi mail. What does this mean? Does VA has jurisdiction over the divorce now? I consulted my div lawyer's ofc in CA and they said VA has jurisdiction now? Does anyone know how VA calculates child support? My ex said I will have to pay
$650 based on calculations. I will end up making $30K this year, are they going to base it on past income? Any similar situation? I really want my dau, at least my youngest, but she want to live with DAD!!! One is 14 yrs and 16.8 years old now.

 

[LegalBeagle]

Divorced in CA in 92 w/ ex paying $500 per court ordered. Ex moved to VA. He paid me $500 until 94-95 when he pleaded that he is having a new family that if he can just pay half. I agreed..I felt sorry for him. In 96, oldest dau went to visit & decided to be with Dad for a while. We agreed verbally he doesn't have to pay me child support since we both each have a child. Christmas 99, younger dau visited him and wants to stay with Dad. I reluctanly agreed but she said she wants to spend time with sister. I have been sending $250 since Dec 99 and cut it off temporary in July 00 bec I had to quit my job. I work as a freelance loan officer now and just starting out. My income compared to 98 & 99 has dropped 50%. He is very upset that I have not send $250 & he threatened to take me to VA court and have them pay me back child support. I had recently rec'd a request for foreign custoday order fr VA via certi mail. What does this mean? Does VA has jurisdiction over the divorce now? I consulted my div lawyer's ofc in CA and they said VA has jurisdiction now? Does anyone know how VA calculates child support? My ex said I will have to pay
$650 based on calculations. I will end up making $30K this year, are they going to base it on past income? Any similar situation? I really want my dau, at least my youngest, but she want to live with DAD!!! One is 14 yrs and 16.8 years old now.

It looks like he has filed the custody agreement into the VA courts and will possible petition for custody of the children.

However, here is what you do.. get an attorney in VA to file a contempt petition based on the fact that in 1994 he stopped paying you CS. That despite a court ORDER, he stopped paying you this amount. Thsi ORDER is STILL IN EFFECT until another court changes the order.

Therefore, a rough calculation means he owes you 24,000 dollars. I suggest you inform him of this and that if he continues with his action, you will set about enforcing this repayment.

Good luck.

 

[crager34]

what about....

In the original post, she stated that she agreed for him to only pay half of the child support. Then, you suggest she go after him for all the he didn't pay, after she agreed that he didn't have to. YES! The law is clear whereby if there isn't a court order changing the support guidelines...
but come on.....what every happend to ethics. I am not defending his actions either. My thought are, what about the child? If she is old enough (12 I beleive is the appropriate age) and wants to live there....why not? It would be hard, this is true, but the whole idea behind all of the child support/custody issues....is supposed to be the welfare of the child. Will she be in danger living there? If so, fight him tooth and nail (without lying). If not, grin and bear it for the sake of the child.

 

[[email protected]]

EX WANTS TO KEEP KIDS AND HAVE FULL CUSTODY

Thanks for tips. I emailed my ex and I suggested $350 eventhough I will struggle paying this every month. I picked up a part-time job at night to pay for this. He emailed me back & said for him not to file for child support in VA, he will agree with the amount but I will pay for major medical/dental, oldest dau right now need $4500 for braces, buy my girls winter/summer clothes, daughter's dancing lessons ($80/month) and school supplies. He said he will pay for 1 ticket for the girls to fly to Las Vegas.
I think he is asking too much! Am I better telling him to go ahead & have the state calculate child support and wait for that?
I would love to consult a lawyer in VA but I know I will not be able to afford one.
Please comment.

 

[LadyBlu]

Re: EX WANTS TO KEEP KIDS AND HAVE FULL CUSTODY

Thanks for tips. I emailed my ex and I suggested $350 eventhough I will struggle paying this every month. I picked up a part-time job at night to pay for this. He emailed me back & said for him not to file for child support in VA, he will agree with the amount but I will pay for major medical/dental, oldest dau right now need $4500 for braces, buy my girls winter/summer clothes, daughter's dancing lessons ($80/month) and school supplies. He said he will pay for 1 ticket for the girls to fly to Las Vegas.
I think he is asking too much! Am I better telling him to go ahead & have the state calculate child support and wait for that?
I would love to consult a lawyer in VA but I know I will not be able to afford one.
Please comment.

Contact the VA State Atty gen(or their child support collection agency) regarding the back support, as long as you have some kind of petition with the court regarding the back support he never paid, you will have more leverage. Are you wanting to allow him to have custody? Or are you wanting to retain your custody as it is now?
If you are wanting to allow him to have custody and lower support then you need to have documented proof of his arrears on support to bring to court.