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Ex went from reliable income job to work from home "job"

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ProT

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Arkansas
My ex was ordered to pay child support based upon her income. After about 4 months of not paying, she began paying when I told my lawyer who contact hers. She had also been ordered to pay so much in "arrears" but she never has paid any nor has she ever paid half of our child's medical and dental bills not covered by my insurance.

The latest information per our child is that she is now working from home making things to sell online. I do not know the circumstances behind her no longer working as a "court clerk assistant" but she has made no attempt to tell me she will be paying less support (she will no longer pay at all is my guess). Is it that easy to get out of paying support? Simply come up with a bogus work from home job and when it never takes off "oh well, guess I cannot help take care of our child monetarily at all now?" I do not believe she has any intention of going back to court to attempt to modify the order. What would a judge do anyway? If she does not have income because of her failed work from home "plan," theres no way to make her work anywhere that's going to be providing her a consistent income, is there?

Am I missing something or will I just have to suck it up and pay for everything now? I dont mind to do it except for the fact that I already have to drive 8 hrs total every other weekend to meet her halfway for her visitation. This is getting expensive and unlike her, I dont have a new meal ticket to cover my expenses. I feel it should be fair to make her drive the entire route between us for her visitation in the event she pays no support, arrears, or half medical/dental. Should I seek that to be made official in court once all of this transpires as I expect it to? I know her "ways" very well and the shady spot keeps growing once it starts. Thanks for any tips on what to expect and/-or how to navigate this type thing in efforts to do right by my son and myself.
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Arkansas
My ex was ordered to pay child support based upon her income. After about 4 months of not paying, she began paying when I told my lawyer who contact hers. She had also been ordered to pay so much in "arrears" but she never has paid any nor has she ever paid half of our child's medical and dental bills not covered by my insurance.

The latest information per our child is that she is now working from home making things to sell online. I do not know the circumstances behind her no longer working as a "court clerk assistant" but she has made no attempt to tell me she will be paying less support (she will no longer pay at all is my guess). Is it that easy to get out of paying support? Simply come up with a bogus work from home job and when it never takes off "oh well, guess I cannot help take care of our child monetarily at all now?" I do not believe she has any intention of going back to court to attempt to modify the order. What would a judge do anyway? If she does not have income because of her failed work from home "plan," theres no way to make her work anywhere that's going to be providing her a consistent income, is there?

Am I missing something or will I just have to suck it up and pay for everything now? I dont mind to do it except for the fact that I already have to drive 8 hrs total every other weekend to meet her halfway for her visitation. This is getting expensive and unlike her, I dont have a new meal ticket to cover my expenses. I feel it should be fair to make her drive the entire route between us for her visitation in the event she pays no support, arrears, or half medical/dental. Should I seek that to be made official in court once all of this transpires as I expect it to? I know her "ways" very well and the shady spot keeps growing once it starts. Thanks for any tips on what to expect and/-or how to navigate this type thing in efforts to do right by my son and myself.
You have to obey the court order or take it to court for a modification and convince the judge that she should drive the whole way. However, based on your description if mom had to drive the whole way it would make weekend visitation virtually impossible, which would not be in the best interest of your child. A weekend is 48 hours long. If she has to spend 16 hours of it driving, and they would be spending about 16 hours sleeping, that would leave only 12 hours to actually spend any quality time together.

If she is not paying child support, then you need to take her to court for contempt.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Arkansas
My ex was ordered to pay child support based upon her income. After about 4 months of not paying, she began paying when I told my lawyer who contact hers. She had also been ordered to pay so much in "arrears" but she never has paid any nor has she ever paid half of our child's medical and dental bills not covered by my insurance.

The latest information per our child is that she is now working from home making things to sell online. I do not know the circumstances behind her no longer working as a "court clerk assistant" but she has made no attempt to tell me she will be paying less support (she will no longer pay at all is my guess). Is it that easy to get out of paying support? Simply come up with a bogus work from home job and when it never takes off "oh well, guess I cannot help take care of our child monetarily at all now?" I do not believe she has any intention of going back to court to attempt to modify the order. What would a judge do anyway? If she does not have income because of her failed work from home "plan," theres no way to make her work anywhere that's going to be providing her a consistent income, is there?

Am I missing something or will I just have to suck it up and pay for everything now? I dont mind to do it except for the fact that I already have to drive 8 hrs total every other weekend to meet her halfway for her visitation. This is getting expensive and unlike her, I dont have a new meal ticket to cover my expenses. I feel it should be fair to make her drive the entire route between us for her visitation in the event she pays no support, arrears, or half medical/dental. Should I seek that to be made official in court once all of this transpires as I expect it to? I know her "ways" very well and the shady spot keeps growing once it starts. Thanks for any tips on what to expect and/-or how to navigate this type thing in efforts to do right by my son and myself.
Who created the distance?
 

commentator

Senior Member
Until I was sure this stuff you are afraid will happen starts happening, and you can document that it's happening, I wouldn't go rushing back to court. Right now, you're just supposing that you'll not see any further support. get that four months of arrears If you have insurance provided by a job, you have other income too, though it sounds as though her income is somewhat greater? I gather you were living where you are now living when the visitation arrangement was finalized?

I detect a strong note of bitterness here, in that your ex wife now has a "meal ticket" and is not struggling and might not necessarily have to work, except to pay the child support payments. That needs to stay miles out of your court actions. If I were you, I'd speak to my attorney again, see what can happen IF she doesn't pay the support. Whether or not she's working, if she's paying, its okay. If she's not, it's not, and it's something you can go back to court with. Have you got actual incidences of where she has failed to pay half the child's medical and dental bills?

If you go back to complain about the lack of support payments, that's a real strong viable issue. If you weaken it down by letting it slip how totally pissed off and mistreated you are feeling about the unfair situation of where she is getting to bring the child only half way to the pick up point, that just dilutes the impact of the "she is not paying what she is supposed to be paying!"

We can assume that was put in and you agreed to it in the original custody agreement, though you obviously did not like it. If you use your trip back to court to complain about this already settled issue, it will not be to your advantage. Unless this move took place after the whole pick up circumstances were finalized, and it was initiated by your wife, who is not paying what she should be paying, I would just concentrate on getting my regular support payments from her, regardless of what she's doing or whether she has a good job or not.
 
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ProT

Junior Member
You have to obey the court order or take it to court for a modification and convince the judge that she should drive the whole way. However, based on your description if mom had to drive the whole way it would make weekend visitation virtually impossible, which would not be in the best interest of your child. A weekend is 48 hours long. If she has to spend 16 hours of it driving, and they would be spending about 16 hours sleeping, that would leave only 12 hours to actually spend any quality time together.

If she is not paying child support, then you need to take her to court for contempt.
"it would make weekend visitation virtually impossible"
You are right. Her doing all the driving is not the best idea I've ever had.
 

ProT

Junior Member
Until I was sure this stuff you are afraid will happen starts happening, and you can document that it's happening, I wouldn't go rushing back to court. Right now, you're just supposing that you'll not see any further support. get that four months of arrears If you have insurance provided by a job, you have other income too, though it sounds as though her income is somewhat greater? I gather you were living where you are now living when the visitation arrangement was finalized?

I detect a strong note of bitterness here, in that your ex wife now has a "meal ticket" and is not struggling and might not necessarily have to work, except to pay the child support payments. That needs to stay miles out of your court actions. If I were you, I'd speak to my attorney again, see what can happen IF she doesn't pay the support. Whether or not she's working, if she's paying, its okay. If she's not, it's not, and it's something you can go back to court with. Have you got actual incidences of where she has failed to pay half the child's medical and dental bills?

If you go back to complain about the lack of support payments, that's a real strong viable issue. If you weaken it down by letting it slip how totally pissed off and mistreated you are feeling about the unfair situation of where she is getting to bring the child only half way to the pick up point, that just dilutes the impact of the "she is not paying what she is supposed to be paying!"

We can assume that was put in and you agreed to it in the original custody agreement, though you obviously did not like it. If you use your trip back to court to complain about this already settled issue, it will not be to your advantage. Unless this move took place after the whole pick up circumstances were finalized, and it was initiated by your wife, who is not paying what she should be paying, I would just concentrate on getting my regular support payments from her, regardless of what she's doing or whether she has a good job or not.
"I wouldn't go rushing back to court. Right now, you're just supposing that you'll not see any further support."
I only want to go back if its absolutely necessary. Inquiring here is for preparing in advance so I know what to do if things turn out as I suspect.
"I gather you were living where you are now living when the visitation arrangement was finalized?"
Yes
"Have you got actual incidences of where she has failed to pay half the child's medical and dental bills?"
Yes
 

ProT

Junior Member
"I wouldn't go rushing back to court. Right now, you're just supposing that you'll not see any further support."
I only want to go back if its absolutely necessary. Inquiring here is for preparing in advance so I know what to do if things turn out as I suspect.
"I gather you were living where you are now living when the visitation arrangement was finalized?"
Yes
"Have you got actual incidences of where she has failed to pay half the child's medical and dental bills?"
Yes
I posted the above prematurely before addressing all the questions (I think). Sorry. Just for clarification, i keep the bitterness at bay to my child, her, and the court.
 

commentator

Senior Member
When I see a post like yours, I automatically start poking at it. Thanks for the clarifications. No offense meant, I'm just playing devil's advocate. It is very tough to force someone to get a better job, I spent a long time working with employment services, and have seen a lot of voluntarily unemployed ex spouses (though I will admit, back in those days, it was very likely to be a male). Some of were so stubborn they were willing to trash their own lives and careers and economic situations in order to spite their ex. But in this situation, where, as you say, this ex has had a good job in the past, and now has a working spouse (meal ticket) so that money is probably not a huge problem in her life now, I'd say the system would likely be willing to try to make her pay, but not try to insist she get another job or type of job in order to pay.
 

torimac

Member
If she is working from home and she created the distance, then she could have the flexibility to do most of the driving. She could work extra on the days she does not have visitation and then drive to meet you closer to your end. She created the distance, she should deal with the time and expense created with that distance.
If she is not paying, then it may be difficult to get her to pay. Going through your state child support agency may help. Although if a parent is determined not to pay, they will not pay. My ex just started paying after 13 years only because he was offered a standard salary job he liked and he finally gave up doing 1099 work. So, after 13 years I may finally receive some child support. Definitely don't count on child support but don't let it slide either. If you work with the state, they may eventually take her back to court for contempt.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
If she is working from home and she created the distance, then she could have the flexibility to do most of the driving. She could work extra on the days she does not have visitation and then drive to meet you closer to your end. She created the distance, she should deal with the time and expense created with that distance.
If she is not paying, then it may be difficult to get her to pay. Going through your state child support agency may help. Although if a parent is determined not to pay, they will not pay. My ex just started paying after 13 years only because he was offered a standard salary job he liked and he finally gave up doing 1099 work. So, after 13 years I may finally receive some child support. Definitely don't count on child support but don't let it slide either. If you work with the state, they may eventually take her back to court for contempt.
The problem with that is that the court orders were already made with them sharing the transportation. So, even if she could have more flexibility to travel it would require modifying an order that is already the status quo. Plus, the best interest of the child still comes into play.

She hasn't stopped paying child support yet. He is just afraid that she is going to do so.
 
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