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Ex Wife Small Claims for Unpaid excessive medical payments for 2018...

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concernedDadAZ

New member
What is the name of your state? Case is in Iowa

The case is this...
My ex wife wants me to pay for medical expenses as the divorce decree says that I need to pay 1/2.
I lost my job a couple times no fault on my own and am having a difficult time recovering financially from that.
The other reason I have not paid these expenses is due to my ex-wife doing something to cause tramatic stress to my daughter who is 16 years old. My daughter even tried to commit suicide at one point. My ex also blocks me for a long period of time from being able to communicate with my daughter which made my relationship with my daughter more weaker than ever. Now my daughter suffers from depression and is not herself. While I was there in Iowa I got to see my daughter in Dec 2017. During that time I was shocked and sickened at how brain washed she is and how scared she is to tell me anything that happened to her that she said that my ex-wife would go to jail for what she did. My ex wife is out of control and not a good person when she gets mad. Not sure what happened exactly.

I need some advise. I live in Arizona and am not able to attend in person for this case. I asked the court to give me permission to attend by phone. That was denied and said if I don't appear for a mediation session and then a meeting with the judge to set a new date that the entire case would be a judgement against me immediately. By paying monthly nearly $900 per month in child support I don't have any money to travel there to be onsite for this mediation and meeting with the judge. Then another date also for the actual hearing that will be set according to the court response in 2 weeks later.

What can I do to get the court to allow me to appear by telephone. The judge is a new judge and just started a few days ago. There may also be a conflict of interest as the judge for the case her husband works at Rockwell Collins the same as my ex wife so the judge may be biased in the case. Wish to have a different judge. Not sure how to ask or go about making that happen.

The charges are for nearly $5K in medical payments. This is very excessive for one thing. Another thing I don't think I should be responsible for any expenses that were induced by my ex wife to my daughter. I wish to get custody of my daughter from my wife but don't have 100K to pay a lawyer only to end up with my daughter still with my ex wife.

How can I control these excessive medical bills with an ex wife that thinks she can do whatever she wants and demand money immediately when ever she wants for any medical payments that she goes for. Some of the expenses are for dentist orthodontist work. Perhaps some of the other charges are related to whatever and caused by my ex.

Is there anything I can do to recommend and get a fair payment plan for the medical expenses from the court? Instead of a wage garnishment as that will make it so that i need to take two jobs again.

Lawyers and courts love this kind of suffering and pain. Wish someone in the legal system cared to stand up and do something to stop this kind of thing and to do what is right. No way should I be paying as much as I do for child support. It is just crazy.

Can I ask for credit on the child support for the medical payments since they are excessive. It is clear that my ex only cares about getting as much as possible. I don't have a lot of money and am tired of dealing with a sick minded ex wife.

Please help.
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Case is in Iowa

The case is this...
My ex wife wants me to pay for medical expenses as the divorce decree says that I need to pay 1/2.
I lost my job a couple times no fault on my own and am having a difficult time recovering financially from that.
The other reason I have not paid these expenses is due to my ex-wife doing something to cause tramatic stress to my daughter who is 16 years old. My daughter even tried to commit suicide at one point. My ex also blocks me for a long period of time from being able to communicate with my daughter which made my relationship with my daughter more weaker than ever. Now my daughter suffers from depression and is not herself. While I was there in Iowa I got to see my daughter in Dec 2017. During that time I was shocked and sickened at how brain washed she is and how scared she is to tell me anything that happened to her that she said that my ex-wife would go to jail for what she did. My ex wife is out of control and not a good person when she gets mad. Not sure what happened exactly.

I need some advise. I live in Arizona and am not able to attend in person for this case. I asked the court to give me permission to attend by phone. That was denied and said if I don't appear for a mediation session and then a meeting with the judge to set a new date that the entire case would be a judgement against me immediately. By paying monthly nearly $900 per month in child support I don't have any money to travel there to be onsite for this mediation and meeting with the judge. Then another date also for the actual hearing that will be set according to the court response in 2 weeks later.

What can I do to get the court to allow me to appear by telephone. The judge is a new judge and just started a few days ago. There may also be a conflict of interest as the judge for the case her husband works at Rockwell Collins the same as my ex wife so the judge may be biased in the case. Wish to have a different judge. Not sure how to ask or go about making that happen.

The charges are for nearly $5K in medical payments. This is very excessive for one thing. Another thing I don't think I should be responsible for any expenses that were induced by my ex wife to my daughter. I wish to get custody of my daughter from my wife but don't have 100K to pay a lawyer only to end up with my daughter still with my ex wife.

How can I control these excessive medical bills with an ex wife that thinks she can do whatever she wants and demand money immediately when ever she wants for any medical payments that she goes for. Some of the expenses are for dentist orthodontist work. Perhaps some of the other charges are related to whatever and caused by my ex.

Is there anything I can do to recommend and get a fair payment plan for the medical expenses from the court? Instead of a wage garnishment as that will make it so that i need to take two jobs again.

Lawyers and courts love this kind of suffering and pain. Wish someone in the legal system cared to stand up and do something to stop this kind of thing and to do what is right. No way should I be paying as much as I do for child support. It is just crazy.

Can I ask for credit on the child support for the medical payments since they are excessive. It is clear that my ex only cares about getting as much as possible. I don't have a lot of money and am tired of dealing with a sick minded ex wife.

Please help.
Interesting. You have a depressed suicidal 16 year old and you are here to find a way not to pay med bills.
 

concernedDadAZ

New member
No I don't have any desire to pay for medical bills that are medical bills at the result of something my ex wife did to my daughter to cause this. My ex wife needs to pay for that. My daughter was wonderful, outgoing, and had a wonderful personalty. My ex wife and no one will tell me what happened. I guess it is time to get child protective services involved. I will pay for the other medical bills. I will not be pushed around by the court or my ex wife. I will stand up for myself the best I can, well whatever I can do with out being an attorney or having one I can hire to help me. I guess this site is a joke.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
No I don't have any desire to pay for medical bills that are medical bills at the result of something my ex wife did to my daughter to cause this. My ex wife needs to pay for that. My daughter was wonderful, outgoing, and had a wonderful personalty. My ex wife and no one will tell me what happened. I guess it is time to get child protective services involved. I will pay for the other medical bills. I will not be pushed around by the court or my ex wife. I will stand up for myself the best I can, well whatever I can do with out being an attorney or having one I can hire to help me. I guess this site is a joke.
You have no evidence your ex wife caused anything. What expert testimony do you have? Have you talked to your daughters doctors?
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state? Case is in Iowa

The case is this...
My ex wife wants me to pay for medical expenses as the divorce decree says that I need to pay 1/2.
I lost my job a couple times no fault on my own and am having a difficult time recovering financially from that.
That doesn't change your responsibility towards supporting your child.

The other reason I have not paid these expenses is due to my ex-wife doing something to cause tramatic stress to my daughter who is 16 years old.
What is your ex wife doing?
My daughter even tried to commit suicide at one point.
When? What did you do at that time for your daughter?
My ex also blocks me for a long period of time from being able to communicate with my daughter which made my relationship with my daughter more weaker than ever. Now my daughter suffers from depression and is not herself.
What does your court order state that your visitation and contact with your daughter is supposed to be? Have you attempted to enforce it? Depression can be from a lot of things. Have you talked to your daughter's doctors?


While I was there in Iowa I got to see my daughter in Dec 2017. During that time I was shocked and sickened at how brain washed she is and how scared she is to tell me anything that happened to her that she said that my ex-wife would go to jail for what she did. My ex wife is out of control and not a good person when she gets mad. Not sure what happened exactly.
That was over a year ago. What have you done since then to support your child? What have you done to help your child? If she was "brain washed" in 2017, did you try to help her? Did you become involved with her life? How involved are you? Do you know who her teachers are? Who her doctors are?

I need some advise. I live in Arizona and am not able to attend in person for this case. I asked the court to give me permission to attend by phone. That was denied and said if I don't appear for a mediation session and then a meeting with the judge to set a new date that the entire case would be a judgement against me immediately. By paying monthly nearly $900 per month in child support I don't have any money to travel there to be onsite for this mediation and meeting with the judge. Then another date also for the actual hearing that will be set according to the court response in 2 weeks later.
Well then you will lose. In what court is this case? Why did you move to Arizona?
What can I do to get the court to allow me to appear by telephone. The judge is a new judge and just started a few days ago. There may also be a conflict of interest as the judge for the case her husband works at Rockwell Collins the same as my ex wife so the judge may be biased in the case. Wish to have a different judge. Not sure how to ask or go about making that happen.
That is not a conflict. As Rockwell Collins has 70000 employees, proving bias based strictly upon that is going to be nearly impossible. https://www.thegazette.com/subject/news/business/utc-buys-rockwell-collins-acquisition-complete-cedar-rapids-largest-employer-collins-aerospace-kelly-ortberg-dave-gitlin-20181126
The charges are for nearly $5K in medical payments. This is very excessive for one thing. Another thing I don't think I should be responsible for any expenses that were induced by my ex wife to my daughter. I wish to get custody of my daughter from my wife but don't have 100K to pay a lawyer only to end up with my daughter still with my ex wife.
Really? Excessive? What is the deductible for the year? How many appointments does that cover? Over what period of time is that amount? And why would it cost 100k if you actually had a case?

How can I control these excessive medical bills with an ex wife that thinks she can do whatever she wants and demand money immediately when ever she wants for any medical payments that she goes for. Some of the expenses are for dentist orthodontist work. Perhaps some of the other charges are related to whatever and caused by my ex.
Prove the orthodontist work was NOT medically necessary (which will involve expert testimony). Prove that your ex "caused" whatever you are griping about.

Is there anything I can do to recommend and get a fair payment plan for the medical expenses from the court? Instead of a wage garnishment as that will make it so that i need to take two jobs again.
how is paying 1/2 unfair?

Lawyers and courts love this kind of suffering and pain. Wish someone in the legal system cared to stand up and do something to stop this kind of thing and to do what is right. No way should I be paying as much as I do for child support. It is just crazy.
How much were you earning at your highest paying job?
Can I ask for credit on the child support for the medical payments since they are excessive. It is clear that my ex only cares about getting as much as possible. I don't have a lot of money and am tired of dealing with a sick minded ex wife.

Please help.
Your opinion that they are excessive is just that -- your opinion. You need to prove that they are excessive which will require expert testimony regarding for what the bills were, how much said bills normally are, what your child's diagnoses are, why your ex is to blame for said issues and so on and so forth.

I don't see where you have a concrete argument based on what you have posted. You have done nothing in over a year to help your daughter.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Does Iowa even allow for telephonic appearances in small claims? I doubt it...

Dad *might* have an argument that small claims is not the appropriate place for this case to be heard - it should be heard as a contempt motion. Of course, if mom does end up doing that, the amount she's going after won't be capped at $5k. This is all pretty irrelevant since the OP doesn't appear to be able to even show up to present that argument...
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
No I don't have any desire to pay for medical bills that are medical bills at the result of something my ex wife did to my daughter to cause this. My ex wife needs to pay for that. My daughter was wonderful, outgoing, and had a wonderful personalty. My ex wife and no one will tell me what happened. I guess it is time to get child protective services involved. I will pay for the other medical bills. I will not be pushed around by the court or my ex wife. I will stand up for myself the best I can, well whatever I can do with out being an attorney or having one I can hire to help me. I guess this site is a joke.
Well, you really haven't provided much for anyone here to work with. When did you move away and why? What is your parenting time schedule? When is the last time you attempted to enforce your time? How often do you speak with your daughter, whether via phone, email, text, etc.? Have you spoken with her doctors? How about her teachers? What did you do to support her when she tried to kill herself?
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
No I don't have any desire to pay for medical bills that are medical bills at the result of something my ex wife did to my daughter to cause this. My ex wife needs to pay for that. My daughter was wonderful, outgoing, and had a wonderful personalty. My ex wife and no one will tell me what happened. I guess it is time to get child protective services involved. I will pay for the other medical bills. I will not be pushed around by the court or my ex wife. I will stand up for myself the best I can, well whatever I can do with out being an attorney or having one I can hire to help me. I guess this site is a joke.
Getting responses that don't support your opinion does not mean that the site is a joke. Rather, you tried to get a reality check and it bounced.

I don't blame you for not wanting to pay the bills, but legally, you are obligated.

I would advise you against wasting CPS's time. You have no evidence that your daughter has been abused, and you in fact don't even know what precipitated her change. Apparently, in spite of the "excessive" medical bills, no doctor has observed anything worth reporting to CPS. Doctors are mandated reporters. (Additionally, no one at her school has made a report to CPS, as far as you know.) I use quotes around "excessive" because you have not given specific examples of what is excessive about these bills.

Oh, and you can choose not to be "pushed around" by your ex, but the court is another thing. Display an attitude like you have here in court and you'll get a lesson in who has the power. Hint: it ain't you.
 
Q

qadeerqatar

Guest
can I ask You have no evidence your ex-wife caused anything?
 

quincy

Senior Member
can I ask You have no evidence your ex-wife caused anything?
ConcernedDad has not returned to the forum since January 17.

ConcernedDad has not answered any of the numerous questions already asked of him. I doubt he will return now to answer yours, qadeerqatar.

Please look at posting dates before posting and, if a thread is older and there are no recent responses from the original poster, it is best not to revive it.

And, as you have been told before, please do not take the words of other posters and try to pass them off as your own. Your post was reported.
 

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