Ex Wife took my nights away with son.

[Johnohler]

Pennsylvania.
Hi All, so my ex wife and I have 50.50 custody of my 6 1/2 year old. It has been like this for at least 3 years. I injured my back last year (2 herniated discs L4-5 and 5s1). I have all the docs and MRI to prove it. Anyways I was on medication for about 4 months. They put me on oxycodone. Anyways I was tired of the meds and they didnt help so I got off of them the proper way. Went down to an in patient for 2 weeks and before i even got home she filled against me therefore losing my nights and now i have to be supervised. So my current wife or parents need to be there. Its bullshit. I dont get how someone can demand something and get it especially when I did the right thing and I had a legal script for a legit injury. So now by the court and what he lawyer wrote up I have to attend an out patient 3 classes a week with 1 therapy session and random UAs. I dont care about the UAs. I'm not worried about that but the time is ridiculous and I've never done anything wrong. I have no priors with the law or any record of any kind. This is something I decided to do thinking I was doing the right thing. Each class is 3 hours long plus an hour therapy session. Can anyone help me? Nobody understands how she can do this. I have a family lawyer but hes a criminal lawyer and I dont think he knows what he is doing.

Thank you.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

The order didn't get changed in a vacuum. There had to be a hearing.

If you don't think your lawyer is doing a good job get another lawyer.

P.S. Who has a criminal lawyer as a "family lawyer"?

 

[Zigner]

...she filled against me therefore losing my nights and now i have to be supervised.

Was there already a court hearing that ordered those conditions? If so, then there's really not much you can do about it now. You will want to speak to a local family law attorney.

 

[Zigner]

P.S. Who has a criminal lawyer as a "family lawyer"?

Perhaps the OP meant "a lawyer in the family", not a "family lawyer"...?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Perhaps the OP meant "a lawyer in the family", not a "family lawyer"...?

One would hope.

 

[Just Blue]

The order didn't get changed in a vacuum. There had to be a hearing.

If you don't think your lawyer is doing a good job get another lawyer.

P.S. Who has a criminal lawyer as a "family lawyer"?

cough*trump*cough

 

[Johnohler]

Ok...well hes a friend of the family and cheaper. Hes a big time criminal lawyer in our area and went through his own divorce. He assured me all would be ok. Up until this point has done a great job. Got 50.50 of my son and more. I was in an in patient for 2 weeks and day 3 or 4 I told my ex wife what was up and why. I didn't want these pills taking over my life. I was on them for 3 1/2 months. Reached out to the VA (air force vet) and they didnt do much of anything. YES, she had her lawyer wrote up this new amendment u could call it and there was no hearing or one scheduled. What was written was backed up by the judge. I was told I couldnt do shit.

 

[Just Blue]

Please refrain from swearing. It violates the TOS.

 

[xylene]

You had a problem with addiction and you are going to have to progressively get your time/rights back.

Not sure what about this is confusing to to you.

 

[LdiJ]

Pennsylvania.
Hi All, so my ex wife and I have 50.50 custody of my 6 1/2 year old. It has been like this for at least 3 years. I injured my back last year (2 herniated discs L4-5 and 5s1). I have all the docs and MRI to prove it. Anyways I was on medication for about 4 months. They put me on oxycodone. Anyways I was tired of the meds and they didnt help so I got off of them the proper way. Went down to an in patient for 2 weeks and before i even got home she filled against me therefore losing my nights and now i have to be supervised. So my current wife or parents need to be there. Its bullshit. I dont get how someone can demand something and get it especially when I did the right thing and I had a legal script for a legit injury. So now by the court and what he lawyer wrote up I have to attend an out patient 3 classes a week with 1 therapy session and random UAs. I dont care about the UAs. I'm not worried about that but the time is ridiculous and I've never done anything wrong. I have no priors with the law or any record of any kind. This is something I decided to do thinking I was doing the right thing. Each class is 3 hours long plus an hour therapy session. Can anyone help me? Nobody understands how she can do this. I have a family lawyer but hes a criminal lawyer and I dont think he knows what he is doing.

Thank you.

You are not being entirely honestly with us or with yourself. It is not normally necessary to do inpatient rehab to get off of oxy unless the addiction is a serious one. It is completely normal for a parent to file for emergency orders when a parent goes into rehab for any addiction, particularly if there has been a 50/50 timeshare. Your ex didn't throw you under the bus, she acted in the best interest of your children.

It is also completely normal for a judge to order supervised visitation in a situation like this one. The fact that your wife and parents get to provide the supervision is quite generous on the judge's part. Sometimes in a situation like this one supervision has to take place in a professional supervision center. You are very lucky that it didn't work out that way for you.

Its not your fault that you got addicted, or at least its mostly not your fault. Your doctor should have monitored you more closely with the pain meds. However, you do honestly need to understand that the judge is concerned about the safety and best interest of your children. I know that hurts, but you have to accept it.

 

[Johnohler]

Ok well thanks for nothing. I have all the documents I clouding scripts to show what I was on when and the injury. Again, had a script of 75 Mgs December and January February went down to 40 mgs. Got an epidural in my disc which helped a little. For the 10th time this it. Reason I went to IP for 15 days was to make sure my ex couldnt hold it against me if she found out. That didnt work out to well. I also did it for my current wife and 3 other children along with immediate family. My brother in law came to me (hes a DO) and talked to me about how dangerous they are and where it could lead. Plus the things were not even helping so why stay on them. You hear about this epidemic left and right and I didnt want to be one of the ones hooked on those things. I've been off since Feb 28th, still doing the out patient and overall feeling healthy again, minus the back pain. I'm just looking for some answers as to how she could say this is what she wanted and the court back it up when they havent looked at any of my docs or heard me out.

 

[commentator]

I'm sure "hearing you out" would not have been a pleasant experience. They could do without you. The courts have heard it all before. Your lawyer is telling you straight. You can't do anything. Now either deal with the conditions of the new custody arrangements and PROVE all they did was unnecessary and wrong, without all the posturing and verbalizing, or you are just blowing hot air. All this self justification about how you so nobly quit the pills and you aren't an addict is hurting you a lot more than it's helping you in this case.

 

[stealth2]

I am obviously not understanding something, so perhaps someone could enlighten me. If one is given medication which "doesn't help", why would one continue taking it to the point of addiction requiring inpatient treatment. It just doesn't make sense to me. Nor does going through inpatient treatment to avoid addiction.

 

[xylene]

I am obviously not understanding something,

This is the 21st century. You have never heard of opioid withdrawal?

You can take drugs like Oxy as prescribed and still wind up facing severe withdrawal symptoms because of opiod dependency.

Treating acute withdrawal is one reason people go to inpatient.

Avoiding an acute behavioral addiction when facing withdrawal is another reason people go to inpatient

That synthetic opioids cause rapid development of dependency is why companies like Purdue Pharma are facing big questions and appropriate questions from regulators, - since they initially claimed the exact opposite.

As to the OP, one does not need descend to the depths of a street junkie for their parenting/custody to be affected. Nor does one need to have been at that stage of addiction to seek inpatient care. Inpatient Treatment is not a crime.

 

[stealth2]

TY, xy. Yes, I have heard of opioid withdrawal, but not in the terms you explained.