Ex won't let Father see son

[CatugalCat]

What is the name of your state? Hawaii
My son has a 4 1/2 yr. old son. He pays child support to his ex (never married). He also gives her an additional $150 a month for child care, that is not even court ordered. He is supposed to have liberal visitation rights. Back in February, she stopped letting my son take his son on outings. If he wanted to see his son he had to do it at her apartment in her presence. My son calls his ex several times a week and asks to see his child. If she answers the call, she tells him that she has plans with the boy, but she will call him later, she never calls, and she won't answer the phone when my son calls her back. I know for a fact that this woman is neglecting my grandson, my son provides medical ins. for the boy, and she has not taken him to the Doctor since he was 2. He was recently sick, and she was too lazy to get the boys med. records from the old Doctor and give them to the new Dr. So he is behind in his shots, he is supposed to start kindergarten this year and she has yet to enroll him in school. (they enroll the little ones early here). And she only gives the boy a bath about twice a week. What are my Son's rights?

 

[amiegaines654]

What is the name of your state? Hawaii
My son has a 4 1/2 yr. old son. He pays child support to his ex (never married). He also gives her an additional $150 a month for child care, that is not even court ordered. He is supposed to have liberal visitation rights. Back in February, she stopped letting my son take his son on outings. If he wanted to see his son he had to do it at her apartment in her presence. My son calls his ex several times a week and asks to see his child. If she answers the call, she tells him that she has plans with the boy, but she will call him later, she never calls, and she won't answer the phone when my son calls her back. I know for a fact that this woman is neglecting my grandson, my son provides medical ins. for the boy, and she has not taken him to the Doctor since he was 2. He was recently sick, and she was too lazy to get the boys med. records from the old Doctor and give them to the new Dr. So he is behind in his shots, he is supposed to start kindergarten this year and she has yet to enroll him in school. (they enroll the little ones early here). And she only gives the boy a bath about twice a week. What are my Son's rights?

He is going to have to document EVERYTHING. He will have to prove that she is neglecting the child. He does have rights to the childs medical records, and school records, as well as to be involved in the decision making. Is there a current court order for child support, or visitation. If not, it will be much more difficult. Most likely he will have to do that first, and then if she is not complying, then he can file contempt.
If there is already a court order, he can file contempt, but will have to prove all of the alligations.

GOOD LUCK!!!!!

 

[BelizeBreeze]

The FIRST thing sonny boy needs to do is STOP sending extra money. If his ex begins her diatribe, he can tell her HE will purchase his son extras when he has visitation restored.

Secondly, he needs to file a petition to Show Cause Civil Contempt of a standing court order and let her explain her actions to a judge.

 

[stealth2]

Can we perhaps start with - IS there a court order?

 

[CatugalCat]

Ex won't let Father see Son

Hawaii
Sorry I did not have enough room to write everything. My Son does document everything, down to the voice messages on his cell phone. Yes he does have a court order for child support and visitation. He took her to court last year to make sure that she could not leave the state with his Son. I should also mention that her apartment is an absolute pig sty. We have the condition of the apartment documented in photos and on video. Anyway thanks for your help.

 

[stealth2]

Then he needs to file for contempt. However, I would not advise that he stop paying what the COURT orders him to. But he should quit sending the extra.

 

[lydz13]

I'm not sure what the laws are in Hawaii,but if your son's ex is indeed neglecting your grandson and is a slob and you have pictures, MAYBE it would help if you reported her to social services. Then they might take your grandson away from her and put your grandson in foster place temporarily until your son picks him up. Then the court will see if she is an unfit mother give her some counseling and some time to clean up her house and in that time that your son has your grandson maybe he will have that proof to the CS hearing officer or judge that the mother is unfit and maybe it will help him to get joint or full custody of your grandson. Well at least that is a situation that my relative went through in New Mexico.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Hawaii
My son has a 4 1/2 yr. old son. He pays child support to his ex (never married). He also gives her an additional $150 a month for child care, that is not even court ordered. He is supposed to have liberal visitation rights. Back in February, she stopped letting my son take his son on outings. If he wanted to see his son he had to do it at her apartment in her presence. My son calls his ex several times a week and asks to see his child. If she answers the call, she tells him that she has plans with the boy, but she will call him later, she never calls, and she won't answer the phone when my son calls her back. I know for a fact that this woman is neglecting my grandson, my son provides medical ins. for the boy, and she has not taken him to the Doctor since he was 2. He was recently sick, and she was too lazy to get the boys med. records from the old Doctor and give them to the new Dr. So he is behind in his shots, he is supposed to start kindergarten this year and she has yet to enroll him in school. (they enroll the little ones early here). And she only gives the boy a bath about twice a week. What are my Son's rights?

While I am not discounting the responses that you got from others...lets list your complaints regarding her fitness:

The child hasn't been to the doctor since he was two. If I remember correctly no shots are due from age 2 until about KG, so unless the child has been sick enough to require a doctor that may not hold up.

She hasn't enrolled him in school for next year yet. While they may enroll kids early there (they also enroll kindergarteners early here too) its probably not required.

Her house is a pigsty. Well, if you call CPS on that they will go out there and tell her to clean it up....and they will give her time to do it.

His visitation rights are written as "liberal". That always causes a problem. He may not be able to get her held in contempt (although he should try) but he definitely SHOULD go back to court for a specific visitation schedule, if nothing else.

 

[CatugalCat]

Ex won't let Father see Son

Hawaii

I need to make a correction as to when my grandson last went to the Dr.
It was before he was 2, because he did not get his required shots. Forgive me getting old and forgetful I'm not 100% sure as to exactly how much visitation he has, I do know that there is no set schedule.

 

[LdiJ]

Hawaii

I need to make a correction as to when my grandson last went to the Dr.
It was before he was 2, because he did not get his required shots. Forgive me getting old and forgetful I'm not 100% sure as to exactly how much visitation he has, I do know that there is no set schedule.

When orders are written without a set schedule its almost ALWAYS a problem. Really good co-parents work it out between them, but in reality it doesn't work in most cases.

Your son definitely needs to go back to court for a set schedule.

If your son can prove that the child is missing necessary shots...then certainly he can attempt to prove medical neglect....however if the shots are the only issue then he may not get very far with that.

Its difficult to prove a parent legally unfit....he honestly doesn't have the kinds of "dramatic" things that make it a slam dunk....the kind of things that would make CPS yank a child from the home.

I am not saying its impossible...I am just saying that its a bit weak.

However....if he gets it back in court for a set schedule...so that he has regular time with the child...that may give him more opportunity to prove that mom is unfit.

 

[CatugalCat]

Ex won't let Father see Son

Thanks for the help. In talking with my son, he's afraid to go back to court, because he's worried that his ex is going to make life really difficult. He wants to get full custody but he thinks that there is no way a judge will grant a father full custody. I told him that since I work from home now, I can be there for my grandson whenever I am needed. He seems to think that if he waits till his son is a little older, that my grandson can tell the judge who he wants to live with. I told him it does not necessarily work that way. My son has a high paying stable job, and he lives with my husband and me. Is there any way the ex can do something that will hurt him in court? He makes his support payments on time, he buys his son clothes, and takes him places and just wants to be with him.

 

[Ron1347]

First of all...I'm not sure what your son's concept of 'when his son gets a little older he could tell the court stuff himself' is. That will likely be not until his little boy is about 12 years old, maybe even 14, depending on your State's guidelines.

As far as 'being afraid she will only make things tougher if he goes to court'? He is 'always' going to face that, and the fear. Might as well jump in with both feet right now, and get that ball rolling. It won't be any better later!

 

[thetsgtswife]

Thanks for the help. In talking with my son, he's afraid to go back to court, because he's worried that his ex is going to make life really difficult. He wants to get full custody but he thinks that there is no way a judge will grant a father full custody. I told him that since I work from home now, I can be there for my grandson whenever I am needed. He seems to think that if he waits till his son is a little older, that my grandson can tell the judge who he wants to live with. I told him it does not necessarily work that way. My son has a high paying stable job, and he lives with my husband and me. Is there any way the ex can do something that will hurt him in court? He makes his support payments on time, he buys his son clothes, and takes him places and just wants to be with him.

You let your son know that judges grant custody to dads alot. My husband has sole custody of his son. Now judges are looking at what parent can provide the most stable Environment for the child versus how it used to be done.

He really needs to get into court and get a more set visitation schedule in a court order so she cant keep the child from him as easily. Even if he doesnt get costudy the court can be made aware of the situation at moms and have it for future reference.

TSGTSWIFE