Expense reimbursement demands from CP

[NITM]

What is the name of your state? California
Would just like to clarify what we are already guessing . . . My husband (NCP) has one more year left to pay child support before child is 18. CP has always been a nightmare (thwarting visits, lying, etc.), and we predicted this last year would be the worst regarding her behavior, as she would be panicking over her life of leisure coming to an end (her current husband will probably want her to get a job). All of a sudden CP has started sending NCP copies of invoices for everything ranging from out-of-pocket medical expenses, tuxedo, dinner & limosine bills for school dances (she claims are "educational expenses"), gym membership she signed him up for, driver's license fees, cold medicine, hairbrushes, right down to a stick of gum she's purchased for the minor child and demanding that NCP pay "half". Also, NONE of these expenses were ever even discussed with NCP. Also, there is not, nor has there ever been a stipulation in their court order requiring NCP to pay any portion of any expenses CP may incur, only the child support amount of $776 per month. NCP has sent reply letters to her explaining how there's nothing in the court order requiring him to pay and that she never consulted him on any of these expenses and even disapproved of the dances because of son's grades, how the child support more than covers everything, etc. He also (in writing) asked her to stop sending her harassing letters to our home. But she keeps sending letters (with 20 pages of invoices attached) stating that she "refuses to read his response letters" and demands that he sends her a check. Are we correct in thinking that NCP can pretty much tell CP to go pound sand? We know she has the option to take the matter to court if she chooses, but until there is an order issued, NCP doesn't have to comply with her demands?

Thanks

 

[CourtClerk]

He is only obligated to abide by the court order. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[jbowman]

I am in CA and you are right, if it is not in the court order to reimburse for 1/2 of medical and 1/2 of daycare, you do not have to reimburse. As a matter of fact, when I went to court for modification, those things were NOT included in my previous order. I submitted receipts for daycare for the summer because the NCP AGREED to pay half but never did. The judge threw it out. But she stated that in CA, medical and daycare are mandatory add-on's in addition to child support and she made the order to go forward.

Also, regarding extracurriculars.... I asked for him to be ordered to pay half of football etc. Judge in my case specifically stated "i can not order NCP to pay for 1/2 of extracurricular activities, it is not a mandatory add on"

 

[NITM]

Thanks for the replies. So jbowman, to make sure I'm understanding you correctly, are you saying that medical (there is no daycare) expenses are automatically required, even though it is not stated in the court order? Or would that only apply if CP went back to court and had it added to the order? During previous court dates, CP has tried to get medical expenses reimbursed, but the court ignored her request. NCP does provide medical coverage for child, but CP insists on using her own, in which her out of pocket costs are considerably higher than if she had used NCP's coverage. Child recently broke his thumb on a snowboarding vacation that NCP did not feel he should be allowed to go on (due to grades), but CP allowed anyway. So CP is trying to get him for half the bills now.

 

[StampGirl]

Thanks for the replies. So jbowman, to make sure I'm understanding you correctly, are you saying that medical (there is no daycare) expenses are automatically required, even though it is not stated in the court order? Or would that only apply if CP went back to court and had it added to the order? During previous court dates, CP has tried to get medical expenses reimbursed, but the court ignored her request. NCP does provide medical coverage for child, but CP insists on using her own, in which her out of pocket costs are considerably higher than if she had used NCP's coverage. Child recently broke his thumb on a snowboarding vacation that NCP did not feel he should be allowed to go on (due to grades), but CP allowed anyway. So CP is trying to get him for half the bills now.

I live in CA and if its not in your court order to reimburse for 1/2 medical expenses incurred then you don't have to do so. However, it is my understanding that if the CP takes you to court to reimburse then the judge might go ahead and add those requirements to your order but it shouldn't be retroactive.

If the CP is not using the insurance provided then she can pay 100% of it. How silly to pay that much when someone is already paying for insurance.

All the extra stuff is silly. While your comment on "the child support covers all that" is not entirely true, your husband is not required to reimburse his ex for half of hte money. Child support doesn't go very far (believe me... I have three girls!!) but would never ask for anything than what was spelled out in the court order.

 

[jbowman]

So jbowman, to make sure I'm understanding you correctly, are you saying that medical (there is no daycare) expenses are automatically required, even though it is not stated in the court order? Or would that only apply if CP went back to court and had it added to the order?

It has to be ordered. But it easy to get it ordered because in CA it is a mandatory add-on to child support. But exactly like StampGirl said, it wont be retroactive--or at least it wasnt in my case.

 

[purelyinsane]

Only pay what the court orders you to pay. If she wants to take your husband to court to be reimbursed for those things then fine. But you can always beat around the bush with her for the next year and finally time will run out on her. I'd just write return to sender on the letter envelopes and i wouldn't answer the phone when she calls. if she leaves a message regarding these expenses i'd not return the call. finally she will give up.

 

[NITM]

That's what I thought and glad it's not retroactive. Like you said, at least there's only one year left! I'm curious why the judge never ordered it previously because CP has asked for it before. As far as the child support not going very far, CP has been remarried to an attorney, has two other children by him and has remained voluntarily unemployed for the past 15 years, living off her husband's substantial income. She spends her days at Nordstrom. Her and her mother are buying the son a new truck and fancy vacations as a reward for 3 to 4 F's on every report card for past 5 years. So we don't feel too sorry for her.

 

[CourtClerk]

FYI... In Cali... if the order is going through CSSD, then in some counties, they will NOT do the add on for medical, however, they will do it for childcare.

However, if your order was received in family court as part of a divorce and CSSD is not involved, then it is possible to go back to have it modified to include unreimbursed medical. However, unless there is some serious extenuating circumstance, past medicals will not be included.