exwife forcing me to move? (CJane take a look)

[mdonovin]

What is the name of your state? NJ new Jersey

i finally filed motion to enforce litigants rights, as i predicted the ex wife just got angrier, i received a letter from her attorney stating she would not allow my son to visit me until I moved, claiming:

"since there are presently not appropriate sleeping accommodations. Defendant(me) shall not be entitled to overnight parenting time unless and until he has secured living accommodations with appropriate sleeping quarters for the child at which time the parents shall revisit...."​

is this realistic on her part? legal?
do i respond to this letter?
i am representing myself at this point-unable to afford lawyer

I have had visitation for over 3 years without any problems at this residence. its a rental- my home is on 20 acres, i have a dog and a cat. its a 2 bedroom although i only occupy one bedroom-the landlord is a kind fellow who will rent the other bedroom out on occasion for someone local who needs a bed and a roof for a week or 2....i have no problem with that since an extra 400 bucks a month to have the additional bedroom that will never be slept in is silly. Right now its unoccupied and I have offered it to my son the last time...he is not interested he prefers current arrangement

my son chooses to sleep on the convertible bed in my extra large room which contains the only TV and only computer in the house. no matter where we have traveled to he has always preferred the couch - he even prefers the TOP of the convertible couch rather than the pull out bed.

there are no restraining orders or prior motions filed by the ex wife.What is the name of your state?
i fully expect her TO NOT comply with current order until a potential court date in early November, meaning she will block any attempts for me to see my son until then-

 

[LdiJ]

I will be honest with you. I would not be comfortable having my child sleep in a house where there are transient tenants.

I don't know how a judge would view that, but I suspect that there are at least some judges that would have a problem with that too.

I don't have a problem with your son sleeping on a couch or convertible bed in your room...that isn't the problem for me, its the transient tenants.

 

[Just Blue]

I will be honest with you. I would not be comfortable having my child sleep in a house where there are transient tenants.

I don't know how a judge would view that, but I suspect that there are at least some judges that would have a problem with that too.

I don't have a problem with your son sleeping on a couch or convertible bed in your room...that isn't the problem for me, its the transient tenants.

I 100% agree ....Does the LL do a back-round check to insure that he isn't "renting" to a pedophile? Or a convicted felon?

 

[stealth2]

I'll ditto. The sofa's not the issue - it's the on-again, off-again tenants.

 

[nextwife]

I agree. I would not want to see anyone endanger any, and certainly would not so endanger my own, child by allowing a series of total strangers to sleep under the same roof. That is a really BAD idea.

Do you not remember the Cassie Williamson murder a few years ago, in which a guy who was sleeping at her parent's home (that they barely knew) adducted and murdered the child?

http://www.findmissingkids.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=125

 

[CJane]

Since my opinion was specifically asked for...

I'm going to second what everyone else has said re: the transient tenants.

Sleeping on the couch, not an issue - heck, I sleep on the couch more than I sleep in my bed... my kids sleep on the floor in the living room or in a recliner or on a futon more often than they sleep in their beds.

But random strangers in and out of the house? Not ok with me.

That all said... while mom might get a judge to agree that it's unacceptable, she's going to have to answer as to why she's let it go on for years w/out making a stink.

Unless this... arrangement... just started, or your son has gotten to an age where he KNOWS it's not ok and that's why he's uncomfortable.

The more you reveal about your situation, the more I think you're blind to your faults.

 

[nextwife]

Since my opinion was specifically asked for...

I'm going to second what everyone else has said re: the transient tenants.

Sleeping on the couch, not an issue - heck, I sleep on the couch more than I sleep in my bed... my kids sleep on the floor in the living room or in a recliner or on a futon more often than they sleep in their beds.

But random strangers in and out of the house? Not ok with me.

That all said... while mom might get a judge to agree that it's unacceptable, she's going to have to answer as to why she's let it go on for years w/out making a stink.

Unless this... arrangement... just started, or your son has gotten to an age where he KNOWS it's not ok and that's why he's uncomfortable.

The more you reveal about your situation, the more I think you're blind to your faults.

My late MIL ALWAYS preferred to sleep on a couch. I doubt the couch is enforceable as the issue.

But allowing a series of unknown strangers to sleep under the same roof as your child, not to mention yourself, is, frankly, insane. Possibly mom didn't know previously that this "rent a room in my place by the night" business was going on.

 

[Bloopy]

Playing Bed and Breakfast to people that you have not even screened yourself is creepy.

That said, her ?motion? makes it sound like the problem is that your son is on the couch in your room. Has she addressed the issue of the transients at all?

Even though she if fully intending to disobey the court order for visitation, she has done some CYA for herself including the November hearing. Do folks think she would be found in contempt?

I bet you could get a lot less acres but no visitors without shelling out an extra $400.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

The X may not know that she can't actually restrict the visit for that reason. But, being it's a two bedroom place, dad would get caught up in this saying that the bedroom is actually NOT available for son, instead of say that son PREFERS the couch instead of the bed in the bedroom.

Dad - don't have anyone stay with you. The money you receive for splitting the place will go all in attorney fees. Beside, it's a dangerous proposition for son and yourself.

 

[Bloopy]

I thought this was in my last response but I guess I lost it "cutting and pasting"

How many visitations would you be missing? You can get make up time if the court thinks this is bogus. If you have the visitation anyway dont have anyone stay until a ruling. Since the landlord is such a kind fellow I don’t imagine that would be a problem.

 

[CJane]

I thought this was in my last response but I guess I lost it "cutting and pasting"

How many visitations would you be missing? You can get make up time if the court thinks this is bogus. If you have the visitation anyway don't have anyone stay until a ruling. Since the landlord is such a kind fellow I don’t imagine that would be a problem.

I just find it very interesting that Dad keeps saying, in all of his threads, that his son is claiming to be 'uncomfortable' with him/in his house/having visitation and that there is NO reason for the son to feel that way, and that the idea must have been planted by mom.

But NOW, we learn that the child can either sleep in a bed that a slew of random strangers has slept in, or a couch in his dad's room. And he wonders why his son might be uncomfortable?

 

[stealth2]

Ya know... I didn't even think of the kid sleeping in a bed where a slew of random strangers have also slept. Eeww. Now I have a vision of a "flophouse". Didn't need that at this hour. Blech.