false accusations on restraining order?

[wichitarick]

What is the name of your state? kansas
hi
Whew . brief version. My wife got a tempory restaining order against me "alleging abuse"
on her and my 9 yr. old daughter.
It DID NOT happen !
This is a long stoy that jerry springer would not believe.
We were seperated and 5 days from divorce , I had recieved full custody of our daughter
because of her mental issues , she was raped while my d.d was asleep in the other room of her apt. In the childs best interest she was in custody of me.
This woman has serious mental probs. that have not been addressed at all I have tried for several yrs to get her the help but she refuses to see the problems she has caused.
Whole other thread about mental issues "i have no rights" as a spouse to say anything without her harming someone or herself.
She is now in a shelter with my daughter. It is in this childs best interest that she be at home. I can afford an attorney at all and fear the worst .
It is his her word only that got her that restraining order .I went through this trying to get a restraining order on her when we were seperated (because of her erratic behaviour) and could not I sat with 5 women that day and 3 were lying about being abused and got orders against boyfriends . So I know what can happen.
She is diagnosed ptsd from abuse and the rape that occurred but I and several others believe she is bi- polar, she has put me and d.d through hell since she came back and now this? Just looking for any way I can see something positive here. anything someone can say would be helpfull. Thank you Rick

 

[speedallurement]

i believe i may have be of some help

A lil history. A recent nieghbor filed a restraining order against me.She also made false accusations on her declaration. I fought it and got the better end of the deal being that it was just gonna be no contact orders. I can still go to college ect and not worry about being a certain distance away from her. (she goes to the same college)

Anyways its important to contest the restraining order.
Jf you can prove that she made false statements.
I believe she also has to prove that abuse happened? Not sure if this is so with restraining order but with demestic violence convictions she has to prove abuse happened.

The simple advice i could give you is make an appeal saying something was taken away from you that you were aware about. This could be employment, your kid ect.

 

[wichitarick]

hi
thanks I thought I would update a little .
MY daughter and wife are still in a shelter . the order claims I threw an iron at her and threated to beat my d.d bloody. I did not do this.
I just came from an attorneys office who handled the divorce previously before it was dropped . He is going to try to reinstate the divorce so it ends up in another court besides the one it is in ,because as it stands now all she needs to do is say what she said and it stands ,her previous mental issues do not come in to the picture at all.
That is the part that kills me nothing she has done even illegal stuff is in question at all
but she "SAYS" I said something and it is taken as fact and she has custody of the child???????. the system is faulty real bad. Her own father wants me to take my d.d for her best interest.
If you have friends or family with mental issues please get them help before something this tragic happens . my daughter is the one getting hurt here. thanks Rick

 

[wichitarick]

hi
Another update, I just came from cps and they will not even talk to me now.
This lady has mental issues that have placed this child in harms way many time
she has slapped her and broke a hairbrush on her leg.
I always knew it would end like this. I hyave said many times is "I" did anything similar to ALL the stuff she has they would hang me.
Her own father does,nt see it her way.
I still know nothing . Will i be told to leave the house? How long will I have to pack?
I tried to file a pfa on her when she was in a full manic episode and they laughed at me.
I,m so scared for my daughter.
This woman was not abused at all and court ordered once to get a mental eval. that she did not get. she owes over a 1,000$ in fines for bad checks and driving offenses and it does,nt matter.
I,m looking for an officer that removed her from the house once to be a character witness. whew. i,m worn out depressed . still no answers. Rick

 

[m4mullens]

I am not an attny but a person who has lived with Bi Polar my husband suffers from it/ If indeed you are telling the truth YOUR daughter needs to be returned to you. And your wife needs to be evaluated and medicated, Once a person get diagnoised correctly and on the correct meds they return to the NORMAL person they used to be, But unmedicated is a serious thing. If she has hurt your d. b4 .. Fight like hell to get her back. Dont stand down if your innocent.. Yes the system is slow JUSTICE is slow but again if your innocent then you will prevail.....And when you go to court make sure you have crediable charcter witnesses for you. I forget if you told us your daughters age. If she went to school who took her picked her up or even day care who was the parent doing this. These people have seen how you interact with your d. If you were a loving father they would of witnessed it. Your father in law have him also come to court. I hate seeing a child taken away from its mother but if shes in danger of being hurt then that must happen untill she can get the help she needs.. GL...

hi
Another update, I just came from cps and they will not even talk to me now.
This lady has mental issues that have placed this child in harms way many time
she has slapped her and broke a hairbrush on her leg.
I always knew it would end like this. I hyave said many times is "I" did anything similar to ALL the stuff she has they would hang me.
Her own father does,nt see it her way.
I still know nothing . Will i be told to leave the house? How long will I have to pack?
I tried to file a pfa on her when she was in a full manic episode and they laughed at me.
I,m so scared for my daughter.
This woman was not abused at all and court ordered once to get a mental eval. that she did not get. she owes over a 1,000$ in fines for bad checks and driving offenses and it does,nt matter.
I,m looking for an officer that removed her from the house once to be a character witness. whew. i,m worn out depressed . still no answers. Rick

 

[wichitarick]

hi
sorry for the slow time.
What my attorney tells me is you get the justice you can afford.
No she has not been dianosed bi polar .
Because she was raped while we were seperated and as soon as she gets to that part of the story she is seen as a "victim" and now with a pfa she is a "victim" and recieving the best care possible . amazing really I lose everything and she will recieve a donated car
and all the help she ever needed.
I go to court thurs. to finalize the divorce with the origanal conditions. and if her counsel overlooks it I will have my d.d back. thanks Rick

 

[its_kathie]

hi
sorry for the slow time.
What my attorney tells me is you get the justice you can afford.
No she has not been dianosed bi polar .
Because she was raped while we were seperated and as soon as she gets to that part of the story she is seen as a "victim" and now with a pfa she is a "victim" and recieving the best care possible . amazing really I lose everything and she will recieve a donated car
and all the help she ever needed.
I go to court thurs. to finalize the divorce with the origanal conditions. and if her counsel overlooks it I will have my d.d back. thanks Rick

Hey Rick,

Because she was raped she isn't SEEN as a victim, she IS a victim, no matter when she "gets to that part of the story". Nor is she crazy because she was raped and is now dealing with a traumatic experience. Frankly, you are abusing her and every victim that has suffered this violent act by way of your post and by way of accusing her of "benefiting" from her victimization through donations and assistance. Also, claiming a medical condition and calling her crazy without benefit of diagnosis is speculative and unfounded.

Do you notice how many responses you received from this post? If you are legit, even I am afraid, but I dare approach in hope you may redirect your thinking and your life.

Because you framed your argument on the premise of victimizing the victim and submitting undiagnosed medical evaluation to conclude she is "crazy", I don't believe you. I hope the judge sees through it too.

As for the attorney stating "You get the justice you can afford." I'd get a new attorney or litigate myself - I wouldn't want a leach like that representing me with an attitude like that (if that statement is really true). There are so many attorneys in our system fighting for civil rights and doing pro-bono work. Yes they have to pay-off their 110k legal education on top of making a living, but justice is not what one can afford. Winning the case could be on the side of the best attorney, but NOT justice. The court is just one level, the first level of so many options.

A lot also rests on chance and the judges opinion in most custody cases. You submitting your argument the way you framed it here is destined for failure for any judge that is wise. Moreover, the mother and child have been at a shelter for several weeks now I believe you said. If she was a danger to herself or the child (at least here in California) they are compelled to report it.

I would suggest you re-evaluate your intentions. I am questioning how honorable they are. I am only saying this to you candidly because if a judge breaks down your argument as I have (they are very well experienced in this), you have just caused yourself some extremely serious ramifications of credibility.

Your loss could be great.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

What is the name of your state? kansas
hi
Whew . brief version. My wife got a tempory restaining order against me "alleging abuse"
on her and my 9 yr. old daughter.
It DID NOT happen !
This is a long stoy that jerry springer would not believe.
We were seperated and 5 days from divorce , I had recieved full custody of our daughter
because of her mental issues , she was raped while my d.d was asleep in the other room of her apt. In the childs best interest she was in custody of me. This woman has serious mental probs. that have not been addressed at all I have tried for several yrs to get her the help but she refuses to see the problems she has caused.
Whole other thread about mental issues "i have no rights" as a spouse to say anything without her harming someone or herself.
She is now in a shelter with my daughter. It is in this childs best interest that she be at home. I can afford an attorney at all and fear the worst .
It is his her word only that got her that restraining order .I went through this trying to get a restraining order on her when we were seperated (because of her erratic behaviour) and could not I sat with 5 women that day and 3 were lying about being abused and got orders against boyfriends . So I know what can happen.
She is diagnosed ptsd from abuse and the rape that occurred but I and several others believe she is bi- polar, she has put me and d.d through hell since she came back and now this? Just looking for any way I can see something positive here. anything someone can say would be helpfull. Thank you Rick

Excuse me, but who changed the orders? you had custody.

 

[its_kathie]

Wichitarick - did we miss a step somewhere or skip a development?

 

[wichitarick]

hi
First thank you .
I do understand your view on the little pc. of this story I told .
Also I understand the "victim" side of this and I in no way ever tried to downplay this as part of the overall problem .
Just understand we seperated the first time because of her having a manic episode she had been committed prior to this for 3days in the only in patient ward in this area and had recieved very poor aftercare. This is a huge subject in itself. "mental health" and what would we ,you, them, they do. It turns out very little.
I carried(carry) the weight of ptsd myself I have some compassion and understanding.
I simply stated that this IS the way it went down and her being traumitized by the rapes
(there were two) stood out most and is all she presented to her therapist therefore all she was treated for.
And unless she tried to hurt herself or someone else during that period there is nothing anyone can say to "make" her go to a doctor.
I am only telling one little segment of this whole story and I know it is easy to say but I do not lie at all I gave it up with sobriety I have 12 yrs.
Yes this child is outstanding top in the state in fact "gifted" very well taken of in fact her principal was the first to inform me of the court order so he knew that knew she was not on the bus. He told me then he knew she was not abused in any way by me.
The system is very biased, my concern are no longer for my wife but for this child and being in a shelter where she can not tell her friend whaere she is and being secret is very bad and will showitself later more than living with mommy gone and able to call.
Also the reason she was able to do this is ....drum roll .. we due to be divorced and I let her come back because she was very bad off homeless hungry victimized etc. and I honestly thought with all the stuff so obvious it would easy to get the help she needed.
Wrong that did not happen and people tend to hide from things they do not understand so family and friends did not help and now I feel just left it in my lap.
I turn in my cic paperwork tomorrow I really do not expect much.
About the attorney he was honest and finding a pro bono lawyer without news coverage is ?????? very hard. Kind of like finding mental help with out hurting someone.
Thank you very much Rick

 

[speedallurement]

well i just thought he was calling her crazy couse he was undergoing alot of stress, I think this man has held his composure well in the matter, and he is fighting for whats right.

 

[wichitarick]

update

hi
I met with a srs worker last week .
The findings were there was no evidence of abuse on my d.d .
I spent last weekend with her and she feels guilty of something?
She has only met with a "therapist" twice and d.d told her the last time that I never have been abusive to her EVER and in fact she was afraid of mommy for about a yr.
along with the rest of story about mommy.
after that a lady in the shelter in passing asked her if daddy was being nice to her now?
she told her daddy was never mean to me and the woman replied "yeah right".

I feel lost with no one to tell any of this to , It is very simple this child does not deserve this ,she is in a shelter and not at home and I have done nothing wrong .
I have no criminal record for over 12 yrs. no documented mental issues no fines etc.
her mom has court fines , time in a mental ward , proof of very unstable behaviour previous court papers giving me full custody and now I have no rights at all .
I did not do anything and no one has asked me if I did ,the claims made on the pfa are false and if someone came to our house to see it would be obvious .
At the least she has been diagnosed ptsd and has been almost paranoid for yrs now .
I want my d.d out of that shelter. any ideas thanks Rick

 

[sushimom]

Good Luck

My only advise is talk to everyone and find the best darn attorney you can. My husband was accused had a sucky lawyer and is now on probation for 2 years... He too was accused of something he didn't do... It stinks....

 

[wichitarick]

hi

hi
Thanks
That is the huge issue now I can not afford an attorney.
I also feel that even though this is the custody office at the court house that
"the best interest of the chid" is not going to matter.
It is just incredible to me how this was done .
The ball has been dropped by the system and not really intentionally ,their hands are tied concerning mental health issues and until someone hurts someone real bad or themself it is a revolving circle.
I had the chance to end all this a while back when she broke a hairbrush on my d.d,s leg while brushing her hair but even then I felt if I came forward that I would be treated like I was before .
I have little doubt now that I have witnessed 3 seperate "manic" episodes she has gone through and her reality is very distorted ,but it all means nothing and will always have that feeling of impending doom concerning her.
What I most care about is this childs welfare and her living in a daycare and shelter situation for mo,s is not the best. thanks Rick