What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Mexico
Id been seeing this girl off and on for 5 months when I found out that she had a boyfriend for the past year. I went and dumped her immediately, he went to her and was told that she "went to me looking for attention, nothing physical, and that I forced it on her". We'd been fooling around throughout the whole five months.
Before knowing that she was saying that I forced myself on her, I tried to talk to her at her work a couple days after dumping her, when a male co-worker of hers told me that she didnt want to talk to me, and that I had to leave, so I did. I then found out about what she was saying by asking the boyfriend.
So a week later I tried to talk to both of them in public at school (we are all in the same program in college), which needless to say didnt resolve anything. I guess its important that I was extremely non-threatening to the point of making myself vulnerable during this incident. When I saw that nothing was going to come of it, I soon after walked away.
The day after this they both went to judicial affairs at school and filed harassment charges against me, and she went on to allege that I sexually assaulted her at her house the night before I found out that she had a boyfriend. She then went to the campus police department and told them the same story, saying that I sexually assaulted her.
So Judicial Affairs called me in and I told them everything, and even went over a few stories that she also lied about, concerning me threatening her with a gun and also waiting outside her house for her. I had nothing to hide, so I simply told the truth. They're not pushing the issue, but they did warn me that I cant talk to either one of them at all.
I called the police to try to get the police report and also to ask them what is going on. They basically said that they arent going to push the issue, but that I cant talk to her.
Is there anything I can do here besides sit here and wonder how far this allegation has spread throughout school? I see her and him everyday, and I see her friends everyday.
Can I file a pre-emptive restraining order against her, so that when things dont work out with her boyfriend, her coming back to me would be grounds for police involvement? Also this would help me at least emerge from the victim role I think.
Also there are a lot of people in my life that know what was going on between us, her staying the night at my house and coming over to my desk at school to talk to me all the time. There are also a lot of text messages that I've since deleted that were basically us talking about sexual fantasies with each other and also some pictures sent back and forth. Im not sure if these can be recovered without court order.
Any advice would be great, I feel like my life has been turned upside down when I have done nothing at all to provoke it. Anything I do to try and confront them with their lies makes me look guilty. My hands are tied.
Id been seeing this girl off and on for 5 months when I found out that she had a boyfriend for the past year. I went and dumped her immediately, he went to her and was told that she "went to me looking for attention, nothing physical, and that I forced it on her". We'd been fooling around throughout the whole five months.
Before knowing that she was saying that I forced myself on her, I tried to talk to her at her work a couple days after dumping her, when a male co-worker of hers told me that she didnt want to talk to me, and that I had to leave, so I did. I then found out about what she was saying by asking the boyfriend.
So a week later I tried to talk to both of them in public at school (we are all in the same program in college), which needless to say didnt resolve anything. I guess its important that I was extremely non-threatening to the point of making myself vulnerable during this incident. When I saw that nothing was going to come of it, I soon after walked away.
The day after this they both went to judicial affairs at school and filed harassment charges against me, and she went on to allege that I sexually assaulted her at her house the night before I found out that she had a boyfriend. She then went to the campus police department and told them the same story, saying that I sexually assaulted her.
So Judicial Affairs called me in and I told them everything, and even went over a few stories that she also lied about, concerning me threatening her with a gun and also waiting outside her house for her. I had nothing to hide, so I simply told the truth. They're not pushing the issue, but they did warn me that I cant talk to either one of them at all.
I called the police to try to get the police report and also to ask them what is going on. They basically said that they arent going to push the issue, but that I cant talk to her.
Is there anything I can do here besides sit here and wonder how far this allegation has spread throughout school? I see her and him everyday, and I see her friends everyday.
Can I file a pre-emptive restraining order against her, so that when things dont work out with her boyfriend, her coming back to me would be grounds for police involvement? Also this would help me at least emerge from the victim role I think.
Also there are a lot of people in my life that know what was going on between us, her staying the night at my house and coming over to my desk at school to talk to me all the time. There are also a lot of text messages that I've since deleted that were basically us talking about sexual fantasies with each other and also some pictures sent back and forth. Im not sure if these can be recovered without court order.
Any advice would be great, I feel like my life has been turned upside down when I have done nothing at all to provoke it. Anything I do to try and confront them with their lies makes me look guilty. My hands are tied.
Last edited: