Falsely accused of harassment caused a written warning

[s10sleeper]

I work in Kansas, the only man in an office full of women. Months ago I had to have a virtual meeting with the district manager and head of HR, and had no idea why. During the meeting I was told there was a complaint that I made a comment a few months before, something about someone getting salad dressing in their hair and that I made some comment about it looking like something else. They even said there was a witness to it. This made no sense to me, I don’t talk like that at work, so I was honest, I said I have no memory of saying anything like that and I don’t believe in talking like that at work. They asked why there’d have been a witness, and I told them I don’t have any idea. They then asked me about a time that I asked someone to smell cologne on my neck, which I knew was false, because what I did once was I was given 2 bottles of oil, and I asked some people to smell the bottles for their opinions, so that was definitely a complete lie. I ended up finding out the girl that made these complaints has also not been happy because I had no interest in her, and no response to the times she was flirty with me. In my response to the write up, all I said was I will continue to follow the standards set by the company. I was not going to say anything to admit to something I didn’t do, but it is still on my record. Is there anything a person can do in these situations? Or does a man just have to take it like they’re guilty? There’s not really any way to prove it wasn’t done, so for the rest of the time she worked there, I avoided being anywhere that we would be alone

 

[Zigner]

Your is really not a legal question. Speak to your supervisor(s) and/or HR.

 

[AlmostThere]

In all honesty, start looking for a new job today.
HR's responsibility is to your employer - to keep them out of legal trouble.

 

[zddoodah]

Is there anything a person can do in these situations?

I'm not sure what you mean by "these situations," but you can, of course, do lots of things. If you believe a co-worker is engaging in a pattern of false accusations against you, you should discuss the matter with your and her supervisor(s) and your employer's HR person/team. To the extent possible, you may want to limit your interaction with this person and, if you can't entirely avoid her, you should document all interaction.

 

[commentator]

From the sound of this, the person who made this accusation is not with the company anymore. I tend to agree with the suggestion that you be looking for another place to work. Because now, they have in their files, a record of their having given you a warning. So the woman lied. It happens. You denied. That was all you could reasonably do. The problem should be over. The more you resurrect and camp on it, the worse it looks and the more attention that is called to the fact that it happened.

However, now if you do anything that could be misconstrued in any way, give them any hint of the slightest impropriety, you can be gone, with a history of progressive discipline and no defense. They don't have to believe you. They don't have to be fair. As the only man in a group of women, "Oh it's so unfair that I just have to take it that I have been falsely accused" is probably something that management is going to be able to pick up on, and they will not appreciate your attitude. They may just have it in for you, yes, it happens sometimes.

 

[Zigner]

I will be playing the part of "Ever the Optimist" today:
I would like to point out that it's also possible that nothing ever comes of it in the future and the company is not looking for a way to fire the OP.

 

[LdiJ]

I will be playing the part of "Ever the Optimist" today:
I would like to point out that it's also possible that nothing ever comes of it in the future and the company is not looking for a way to fire the OP.

I agree that is possible, particularly if the woman in question wasn't particularly credible. The company had to handle it the way that they did. They did not have any other choice. If they get no further complaints about the OP, the whole thing could be forgotten.

 

[s10sleeper]

From the sound of this, the person who made this accusation is not with the company anymore. I tend to agree with the suggestion that you be looking for another place to work. Because now, they have in their files, a record of their having given you a warning. So the woman lied. It happens. You denied. That was all you could reasonably do. The problem should be over. The more you resurrect and camp on it, the worse it looks and the more attention that is called to the fact that it happened.

However, now if you do anything that could be misconstrued in any way, give them any hint of the slightest impropriety, you can be gone, with a history of progressive discipline and no defense. They don't have to believe you. They don't have to be fair. As the only man in a group of women, "Oh it's so unfair that I just have to take it that I have been falsely accused" is probably something that management is going to be able to pick up on, and they will not appreciate your attitude. They may just have it in for you, yes, it happens sometimes.

I understand your point. It’s not something I dwell on, and haven’t actually worried much about it. I just came across the warning recently and curiosity hit me. It’s like a company will believe the accuser without the accused being able to really defend themselves, and made me wonder if, say something became a legal situation, how one would defend it.
One thing I guess I have on my side is the upper manager, when having the talk with me after the accuser was terminated, said that it was just policy we had to go through and that he didn’t really think it happened, but still had to finish it off, which was probably why he was fine with my response. Besides that, he had even asked my previous manager and another girl at work if I’ve ever behaved offensively, and they both said never, that any jokes I make are even appropriate around children and I don’t even use foul language. So I haven’t had any further negative treatment, which I guess is good

 

[Bali Hai Again]

Go to work, do your job and go home. Unless asking people at work to smell cologne bottles is part of your job, don’t do things that. Stick to your work and even then there are no guarantees you won’t be dragged into petty workplace politics.

 

[LdiJ]

I understand your point. It’s not something I dwell on, and haven’t actually worried much about it. I just came across the warning recently and curiosity hit me. It’s like a company will believe the accuser without the accused being able to really defend themselves, and made me wonder if, say something became a legal situation, how one would defend it.
One thing I guess I have on my side is the upper manager, when having the talk with me after the accuser was terminated, said that it was just policy we had to go through and that he didn’t really think it happened, but still had to finish it off, which was probably why he was fine with my response. Besides that, he had even asked my previous manager and another girl at work if I’ve ever behaved offensively, and they both said never, that any jokes I make are even appropriate around children and I don’t even use foul language. So I haven’t had any further negative treatment, which I guess is good

This was important info that should have been included in your original post as it indicated that they did not find the accuser to be particularly credible. It is highly unlikely that it will ever be brought up again.