Family Law

[jstanley2]

I am a 42 y/o white male. My wife and I have been married for 5 years. This is both of our 2nd marriages. Recently, we were having problems in our marriage. During a visit back home to WV she had a one night stand with an old boyfriend. I was here at home in NC during the time. We have reconciled in our marriage and have forgiven each other for our problems in our marriage. Unfortunatelly, my wife is now pregnant from her indescretion. I have been sterile for 17 years so we know it is not my child. I would like for my wife and I to raise this child together as our own child. I don't want this other person involved in our lives. What are our legal rights and options? I love and forgive my wife, but I can't have this person involved in our lives for eighteen years because of this child. We have children from both of our marriages and ex-spouses already. We do want the baby, and we will love him or her as we would any of our children, but I don't think the old boyfriend should have any rights to this child just because of one night of fun for him. Please let me know my options.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

You have no options. You just got married to the "other guy" for the next - - well, the rest of your life, actually.

Way to go, wifey poo !

IAAL

 

[tigger46616]

Does the other guy know your wife is pregnant? I was under the assumption and understanding that if you are married, your name goes on the birth certificate. I know this sounds cold and calculated as I believe that fathers deserve the right to know about a child and be in that childs life. I also understand however your feelings on this, although I personally have never been in the situtation. If he doesn't know, one of the don't ask don't tell scenerios. Put your name on the birth certificate and be done with it.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

You know, Tigger . . .

When are you going to learn? Stop giving advice that is not only wrong, but unlawful.

Please delete your response.

IAAL

 

[tigger46616]

you know what? Unfortunatley women have done it for years. Say one man is the father when he isn't. It is not unlawful, morally wrong yes. Are they gonna take them away in handcuffs because they don't want this one night stand in their lives for the rest of their lives? I don't think so. Alot of children don't know their fathers, and here is this gentlemen who knows of what his wife did, forgave her and is looking to get past it. I have seen you get very mean to people in this forum liable, thats not morally right either, but you continue. So I am sorry...but my post stands. Jstanley2, good luck to you and your wife. Think about what liable said and what I said, then do what you feel is right.

 

[alax]

OK folks, here's another thought--unless jstanley2 is sterile due to radiation treatments or castration, etc., it is not impossible, nor is it highly improbable, that he might not be sterile anymore--especially if he had a vasectomy. There are alot of boo-boo babies out there who came to life when nature did it's thing and over-rode a vasectomy. Some of these boo-boo babies almost made Mom and Dad divorce before someone with enough sense suggested that Dad have a sperm test, and guess what--Dad wasn't sterile anymore!
Now that may not be the case here, but I think I'd want to know--in fact, I do want to know--but, I'd surely want to know if I were the Mom or the Dad.
If jstanley2 is still sterile, then the right thing to do is to let the father know. Children are made up of two people and as hard as this will be on the adults who are involved, this child has the right to know of whom it is made.
By the way, jstanley2, I think you must be one remarkable man. I hope God heaps His blessings upon you and your wife and your children.

 

[augie38]

this is what I read a few times: Any child born in a legal marriage is considered the product of that union, whether fathered by the husband or not.

 

[tigger46616]

Thank you Augie....exactly what I said. From the sounds of it, him and his wife are legally married....so congrats jstanley, you're gonna be a father. Let us know how it turns out.

 

[LegalBeagle]

this is what I read a few times: Any child born in a legal marriage is considered the product of that union, whether fathered by the husband or not.

Maybe, but the other man can easily contest that if he should become aware of the possibility of the child being his and decide he wants to be a father. With the husband being sterile, it will be pretty easy to convince a court to order testing.

What happens in this case depends on two things.. whether the other man is aware of the child and if he wants to be a father in the first place. It sounds like the husband has no desire to inform him of the child.