Father fighting for custody, Mom's crazy

[AL_RA_ZA]

What is the name of your state? California. Mom has tried everything in the book. Lied, cheated and stole to win custody. Everything from restraining orders to moving away to witholding visitation for 18 months to false allegations of violence and sexual abuse. I even have witnesses of her schemes and psychologists who have observed axis 2 borderline personality disorder as well as severe PAS. We're on our 2nd 730 custody evaluation. My daughter is not in imminent danger but shouldn't the "best interest" be determinent? What can I use to sway a bias judge?

 

[stealth2]

Generally, unless there are issues that show she'd be a danger to the kids, it's more important to show the judge why you'd be a better choice (as opposed to why she'd be a worse choice). You want the judge to see that you're not only the more stable home for the kids, but you're also the more likely to promote a good relationship with the other parent. So instead of answering questions (for example) that would lead most naturally to badmouth the other parent in the expected manner, you try to turn your answer back around to how the kids would benefit by living with you instead.

 

[jelly]

what stealth2 said is right on. you win by showing yourself to be the best equipped parent. from my experience, the judge will go with whatever the guardian ad litem and the case worker say. thats who you need to impress. you may know this already, but just in case.. when they come to evaluate your home it should be clean, you should have your child's room set up, have food, things like that.. it should look like you are ready to receive a child any time. It does not help if it looks like bachelor pad, or if you live witha bunch of dude room-mates. If you are requesting full custody, you have to have a plan for where your child will stay while you are at work. You have to show fore thought.. It helps if you can show that you have a support network too, of realiable relatives or family friends that can be of assistance in a emergency. You dont have to bad-mouth your ex, but you can voice your concerns regarding her mental state, her psychiatric conditions, and that for that reason you want to make sure that you secure liberal access to you children and have every opportunity to provide a postive environment for them. That while recognizing the importance of their mother you feel like you are more financially and emotionally stabel to provide what they need as well as support them in their relationship with the other parent.

 

[stealth2]

It's also good if you can easily answer questions such as favorite foods, favorite games, friends' names, teachers' names, favorite activities, things you do together, clothes sizes, shoe sizes, etc. It sounds silly, but it's important stuff.

 

[jelly]

thats real important, also ALWAYS carry with you a photo album with pictures of you and your kid together, at birthdays, school actvities, x-mas, whatever.. it makes an impression that you have been involved, to whatever extent you can. if you dont have a lot of pictures, start collecting them from family.