father is deployed in operation iraqi freedom

[corset]

What is the name of your state? Pa
hi there
my husband is currently serving with the united states military in operation iraqi freedom, he has an 11 year old boy who lives with his father and i and his step sister and brother for 10 months of the year, his bio mom has him for the summer months. back in march the bio mom upon being notified that father is not in house hold does not return child , she takes him out of school and enrolls him where she lives, she has requested medical cards, and summer camp money, both has been fedex to her, she is asking for support for child but according to custody agreement as long as child is continuing to live in the lifestyle that he is used to there shall be none, well, if the child was left here, he would be living in the same style, my husband and i are looking to buy a house, she has stated in an email to childs father that he should not be sharing a room with my son, his step brother,she also stated that my car is disgusting and does not want him riding in it.
i have custody of my own children and there is alot of nuturing support, i have had no contact with step son, she has basically cut him off from us.
i feel this is not over, and in fact she also stated that the situation is different , yes things are different, child is living with a Family unit, not like before where the child was living in an arrangement where the father and other person was not married, she has tried this nonsense before, im starting to feel resentful to hubby and her and even the child for not speaking up
during one of my conversations with said bio mom, she said that david is a child and will say anything to make people happy, my response was well he can say the same to you, (bio mom ) and than she started yelling and screaming im his mother not you, you have no rights to him.
any comments or suggestions will help
how does courts handle things like this
i understand its always whats in the best interest of the child,
ps the bio mom does not work, nor has health insurance for him
thanks
ann

 

[karma1]

Boy, so many questions here....

the first one being, is there a current court order regarding the custody/visitation/support of this child? If so, what does it say? (you mentioned custody agreement, but is this a court order?)
Secondly, when biomom took the child and did not return him, did she file anything in court?
Is she filing for support money or asking for it directly?
Have you contacted any lawyers?

 

[skyy]

My husband is also deployed. I really feel for you. This was exactly the reason why we didn't send my stepson to his mother's family last summer (there's no court order stating to do so). I would have flown to the state and turned her house inside out to get him back. I take him to see her and her family, but he comes back with me. If she wants custody, she has to petition the court just as any other case, have him served and wait for a hearing.

Right now, I would contact authorities about having your stepson returned. If it wasn't discussed beforehand to change custody, then apparently it wasn't that important to her to have him. It's not like military people don't have weeks that they're not with their families even BEFORE a deployment just for training. She knew what could happen a long time ago. Of the first 2 years my husband was in the military, he was gone an average of 3 weeks a month. If she wants to change custody, she needs to go to the courts, and your husband should ask for it to be postponed until he gets back under SSCRA.

I don't know if your husband is one of the ones who is supposed to come home "soon", but if not, you need to make sure you have a POA to act for your stepson for school and anything concerning him.

If he was kept in March, have you spoken with anybody about this? How do you feel about keeping him while your husband is away? Are you worried about having to pay support? Are you most upset about the comments that have been spoken or not spoken? What are you hoping to happen?

 

[nextwife]

Couldn't the Soldiers and Sailors Relief Act be used to postpone any legal action against the husband until his return?

 

[corset]

father is deployed

first thank you all for your words and suggestions to answer some of the questions, in the custody the wording joint legal custody is used, which sucks, second i have contacted a lawyer regarding this and he told me that the courts look to what is in the best interest of the child, third, i have been threaten by biomom that if i try anything example go and get child which i pleaded with cops to go and help me get the child, i would be arrested with felony kidnapping, i have two other children, the support she is requesting is not court ordered she seems not to be able to keep the child in the lifestyle that he was accustomed to while he lived with me and his father, and finally to the last post i totally agree any female can push a child from the birth canal it takes a real woman to stand by the child, and nuture and not leave for boyfriend or greener pasture. a mother does not dicate to the child, he is a human being with feelings and not a pawn in a chest game, i have told by this mother that she wants control now and will do anything to get it. that she has sacrificed, she has not, i have witness the father give all to this child, YES i am the step mother, but hell when he was sick i took the days off to be with him, she never took off when the child was ill or even half days, the father did all this yes step parents should have more say in this world of divorce
yes the soliders and sailors act stops all judicial proceedings, its jut the gull of this biomom to demand that her son not share the same bedroom or even ride in my car.... My daughter said it best mommy what is she afraid of?? afraid that david will grow to love our family unit.
thanks for listening
ann