Father issues

[bedmonds]

California, I have custody of our 9-year-old son and the father gets him every other weekend from 6 pm Friday-6 pm Sunday. The father lost his good job on purpose so he could be in a band. That was 3 years ago. In those 3 years, he has not had his own place, he stays with whoever will let him for a few months until they kick him out, he has lived in at least 7 places. Has no CDL because of non-paid child support, refuses to get a job, unless it pays cash under the table. He had a cash paying job here a couple of weeks ago and was fired for molesting one of his young client's. He is constantly taking my son around a different very young girl (he is over 30) and family every couple of months. The father is now living with a new girl and her parents at an unknown location. He says his phone does not work, but my son texts me from his dad's phone one morning and said: "mom dad's phone works just fine." I have no way of communicating with the father or my son when he is with his dad. The father has very bad anger issues, has told me himself that he was diagnosed with Bipolar and Schizophrenia refuses to take his medication. My ex-mother-in-law has witnessed the dad be verbally and physically abusive to my son and so has the new girlfriend's mother. All of his past girlfriends have witnessed it also. He has only paid 1 year of child support out of the last 9 years. Any money he does make goes to his band. My son comes home and tells me everything that has happened over the weekend. Some of it not so good for a 9-year-old to be hearing or witnessing. I would just like some advice on what maybe I can do or should I just bite my tongue? Thank you

 

[stealth2]

Assuming there is an order for child support, you can file against him for contempt for not paying. If there is no order, you should file for one - but it will be based on his current income and/or an imputed income.

Has Dad's abuse been reported to the police? If so - has he been convicted? If not, you may not get far in changing his parenting time. If yes, I suspect the best you can hope for is supervised time.

As for the inability to contact your son when he's with Dad? He is apparently able to contact you (and therefore emergency services if needed). Or you could provide him with a prepaid phone to take with him.

 

[justalayman]

Why haven’t you been to court, at least seeking the court order he provide his address, whenever it changes

And seeking some sort of demand the father receive a phsychiatric review to determine whether the chid is safe around him.

Given the amount of support he is delinquent, it’s quite possible he is subject to incarceration and possibly criminal charges. Is there some reason you have not pushed on the child support issue?

 

[bedmonds]

There is a court order for visitation and child support. He has no provable income. I didn't know I could file contempt for not paying support. They have suspended his driver's license though. No, the abuse has not been reported. This man is scary crazy when he gets mad or has an episode. If it happens again, I will report it. I do want him to be evaluated though. I have provided my son with a phone to take with him and his dad takes it away. That why I got on here and asked what I could do? I'm afraid his new girlfriend will get him a lawyer and take my son away from me. I can not afford a lawyer.

 

[stealth2]

It is unlikely that custody would be changed absent issues in your home.