Father looking for custody in MN

[worriedNCP]

What is the name of your state? Minnesota

I am worried about the well-being of my children.
This could end up being a long story cause this is almost 7 years in the making. I will try to keep it brief.

I am 25 with 2 kids 6 and 4 (same mother)
I have a good job, and I own my own company on the side.
I pay CS, have visitation, and I have always tried to do the right thing for my kids.

I am worried about what is going on at their mothers house. I know for a fact she is a daily drug user (just pot).

Wow, I don't know where to start.

how about 2001 when their mother reported to the state that I was molesting my (then 2 year old) daughter. The case was thrown out due to the fact that it was completely fabricated. This woman will do anything to stop me from getting joint or full custody!
Due to the amount of child support I am paying I have never been able to afford an attorney and because she is a female she has free legal assistance lining up to help her out.

I have documented some of her more horrible actions. I would like some one to look at what I have and tell me if I have a case.

I am not going to post all this information for a multitude of reasons, but if someone would be interested in looking at it via e-mail I would be grateful.What is the name of your state?

 

[LdiJ]

We generally don't do email....

However you cn't use the fact that mom smokes pot unless you can prove it with hard evidence.

 

[worriedNCP]

I just know that she has used this forum in the past and I would hate for her to take something I wrote as slander.

Here is a better example. I realize the smoking pot thing is a tough one to prove.

In fall of 05 my daughter started kindergarten in Eden Prairie (the city I live in) He mom was 100 miles away in the city she lived in. We made this choice based on the quality of school systems.

I made a mistake which led to me loosing my drivers license for 6 months. My ex was going through a good spell and wanted to be closer to the kids so she offered to rent a room in my house and drive me to and from work. This worked out good until Feb When I came home from work and everyone was gone leaving only a note letting me know that she pulled my daughter out of school and she was moving in with her boyfriend in Olivia, MN (75 miles away). So my daughter got pulled out of school without even being able to say goodbye to her class or her teacher. my daughter missed approximatley a week of school in this transition.
about a month later her boyfriend, who is in the military, got stationed in Pipestone, MN (about 200 miles from me) again my daughter had to switch schools and missed about a week of classes.
about a month later they break up and a week after that my daughter started her 4th kindergarten, again without being able to say bye to her classmates and teacher at her third school and again missing about a week of classes in her transition to the Renville school system.

like I said, I worry about my kids.
my daughter now reffers to her schools by the number of order which she attended them. "at my 2nd kindergarten..." or "at my third kindergarten..." almost brings tears to my eyes everytime she says that!

 

[stealth2]

I just know that she has used this forum in the past and I would hate for her to take something I wrote as slander.

Then it's pretty darned foolish to put the towns y'all live in! Why not just give us your name, as well?

 

[Zephyr]

the moving and changing schools like that certainly will not look good for her in court....


oh and can you tell me where to go to get this free legal help for women?

 

[worriedNCP]

Then it's pretty darned foolish to put the towns y'all live in! Why not just give us your name, as well?

The nature of my post is factual therefore NOT slander.
She has not logged on here in years. 2003 was the last time she posted.
She knows that these are the facts there is no way around them. I will not, however, post more because the more she knows that I have documented the more she can prepare to lie about..
Regardless of this fact I would really like some type of help determining if this might be enought to get a judge's attention.

 

[worriedNCP]

the moving and changing schools like that certainly will not look good for her in court....


oh and can you tell me where to go to get this free lagal help for women?

I am not sure where she gets them all I know is they are not state appointed and they are not charging her.
She is all forms of state assistance. So I am sure it is somehow networked through all of that.

 

[Zephyr]

The nature of my post is factual therefore NOT slander.
She has not logged on here in years. 2003 was the last time she posted.
She knows that these are the facts there is no way around them. I will not, however, post more because the more she knows that I have documented the more she can prepare to lie about..
Regardless of this fact I would really like some type of help determining if this might be enought to get a judge's attention.

like I said- the constant moving and especially changing schools will not go in her favor in court

 

[worriedNCP]

like I said- the constant moving and especially changing schools will not go in her favor in court

I understand that... I guess I am looking for someone who has maybe been in a similar situation or has legal expierance, to tell me if this is a good foundation to make a motion for change of custody.
Joint is not an option for us due to the distance.

thanks,

 

[Zephyr]

I understand that... I guess I am looking for someone who has maybe been in a similar situation or has legal expierance, to tell me if this is a good foundation to make a motion for change of custody.
Joint is not an option for us due to the distance.

thanks,

stability- or lack there of- is an excellent foundation

 

[Ohiogal]

like I said- the constant moving and especially changing schools will not go in her favor in court

But the time for him to object to those moves was then! He has to provide the court with a good reaosn why he didn't object when mom moved the kids. And if the kids were enrolled in school at his home did he have custody then?

 

[worriedNCP]

But the time for him to object to those moves was then! He has to provide the court with a good reaosn why he didn't object when mom moved the kids. And if the kids were enrolled in school at his home did he have custody then?

Not as far as the court was considered... I needed to do a change of venue for our case to my county to get custody changed. And the kids had to live with me full time for the state to let me change the venue of the case 9/05-2/06 was only 5 months.

Quite the BS thing if you ask me...
Technically she was the custodial parent and I had the kids fulltime... figure out how that makes sense.

At the time I did not have a leg to stand on... Now with all the moves and changes of schools and time in school missed I would hope that I have a case.

 

[LdiJ]

Ok...here is a question. Has this moving around been a constant issue your child's whole life? Or was this a single spurt of moves and mom has settled down since then?

Because right now that apparently seems to be all that you really have. That honestly may not be enough unless this sort of thing has been going on for a couple of years or more.

Your DUI isn't going to help either. It may not hurt you horribly, but its not going to help. Mom's pot smoking isn't good, and could hurt her if you could prove it with hard evidence. (like arrests or failed drug tests etc.)

 

[worriedNCP]

Ok...here is a question. Has this moving around been a constant issue your child's whole life? Or was this a single spurt of moves and mom has settled down since then?

Because right now that apparently seems to be all that you really have. That honestly may not be enough unless this sort of thing has been going on for a couple of years or more.

Your DUI isn't going to help either. It may not hurt you horribly, but its not going to help. Mom's pot smoking isn't good, and could hurt her if you could prove it with hard evidence. (like arrests or failed drug tests etc.)

I realize that my DUI is not going to help me but is has been almost a year since it happened, I am not drinking and I completed an outpatient treatment program.
I hope that helps in the eyes of the court. I never drink/drank with the kids around. The DUI came on a weekend I did not have the kids... But hell we all make mistakes.

There is more, much more but I don't know how much of it will actually get brought up in court. I am not looking to trash their mother, I am looking to do what is best for my kids!

 

[Ohiogal]

You will have to prove her basically unfit for her to lose custody.