Father Pays Support, Has No Contact With Child

[haleysmom]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

My ex-fiance and I have a 1 year old daughter, I took him for child support and he has complied but he has made no effort to see his daughter or spend time with her in almost 7 months. Does anyone know how long it is until his parental rights are automatically severed?

 

[jslopez711]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

My ex-fiance and I have a 1 year old daughter, I took him for child suppost and he has complied but he has made no effort to see his daughter or spend time with her in almost 7 months. Does anyone know how long it is until his parental rights are automatically severed?

Support = Contact

 

[Ambr]

And parental rights are not "automatically severed". You have to petition the courts for it.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Child support is contact, he doesn't have to have a relationship with either you or the child. He has to petition the court for custody or visitation.
If you try to terminate his parental rights, the child support will stop.
Are you doing anything to encourage a relationship?
Are you doing anything to interfere in the relationship?
Does he simply not want to have a relationship with you?

 

[Ambr]

The fact that he is paying support is contact.

You want to hear something funny??? He could refuse to make any support payment. CSE could go after his income tax refund and intercept it. The income tax could be the only payment that is ever made to her for CS and that one little payment is considered CONTACT.

 

[momof1cutie]

I live in CA & I asked the same question & received the same answers. My son's father has paid the court ordered support, but has chosen not to see our son in almost 18 months. I have not done anything to interfere in the relationship he can have w/ our son, he ultimatley has the decision to pursue this & he chooses not to. I've come to the point where this is actually a good thing, receiving support for my son, but not having to share him!!!

 

[Phnx02]

While many times it's crushing the NCP doesn't have a positive relationship with your child, before you ask for parental rights to be severed (because of it), you need to seriously think about the financial consequences of doing so. If his parental rights are terminated, he will no longer be responsible to help support your child - ever. This is alot to consider when you have 17 more years ahead of you in raising the child. Plus, you don't want to short-change your daughter in having a possible future relationship with her father.....he may later decide he wants to be a part of her life..... and then you'll have to explain to her why you took her father away from her. Just a thought.

 

[momof1cutie]

I agree w/ Haleysmom in that YOU shouldn't be the one to decide if your child's father shouldn't be in the child's life. Let him make his decisions regarding, keep the child support flowing for your daughter, and in the end everything will be in the best interest of your daughter.

Good Luck!!!

 

[DOS2005]

Reply to Haleysmom

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

My ex-fiance and I have a 1 year old daughter, I took him for child support and he has complied but he has made no effort to see his daughter or spend time with her in almost 7 months. Does anyone know how long it is until his parental rights are automatically severed?

Parental rights aren't EVER severed ever unless one parent wants that or where the courts might think the child is in danger or something. Gosh, The guy is paying support. Do you make it easy and encourage him to have his visitation with the baby? Sometimes men especially are not so quick to spend that much time with babies but once the kids get older, they are more comfortable and often bond with them better. Even if you marry another man, He can't adopt your child unless your ex fiancee wishes to reliquish his parental rights.

 

[tigger22472]

For the 10 BILLIONITH time SUPPORT IS NOT CONTACT!!! Each state has different requirements for TPR, yes MOST consider that you have to have no contact AND no support but some don't and just because they have to have both doesn't make support contact!!! GEEZ

HOWEVER, it is true that rights are not automatically severed. If he's not obtained visitation rights that means that you don't have to allow visits but it doesn't exclude the right to other things like letting him know when something is wrong with the child, school events(when they are applicable) or things like that.

 

[haleysmom]

My reply to everyones advice !

Ok, yes I do try to encourage a relationship between haley and her father. I feel she needs to have a relationship with him. I grew up without a father and I do not want her to feel like I did. But it has been 7 months since she has seen him, we ran into him at a store and she had no clue as to who he was. She will be 2 years old in March and I feel this is the crutial time for her to re-bond with her father. I do not want to take him away from her or her away from him but I don't want him to think he can just brush her off. He has 3 children to a previous marriage who he pays support for and visits every week, so why won't he see haley? I am practically begging him to have a relationship with her because she needs her father and I am trying to make him see that or at least hope he sees it but there is still nothing. I just don't want her to grow up feeling like he abandoned her. I want more for my daughter than that. I hope this gives you all a better look at the situation. And thank you for your advice.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

Any chance you two still have a mutual friend or a close family member you both get along with who could possibly do the pick-up or drop-off or be the neutral territory. Maybe he has aproblem being around you (nothing against you) anyway I applaud your attempts but give him a chance to come around.

 

[haleysmom]

Another reply

We have tried the contact through his mother. I have told him I would drop our daughter off at his mothers while I work and I will pick her up after my shift so he could see her and it would allow more time during the week for them to be together and still it's nothing. I have spoken to his mother since then and have told her the situation she relayed to my ex to get a hold of me to let me know but that was almost a month ago. I really don't know what to do. I feel horrible for doing this to my daughter but me and my ex's problems just couldn't be fixed and he assured me he would always be in her life.

 

[momof1cutie]

you know that's how i was in the beginning of my whole ordeal w/ my son's father and it didn't work as well. after about 18months of "trying" i just stopped putting effort because my son deserves better, i shouldn't have had to beg his father to come & visit him. the bond should have been there, which it wasn't, and it should have been effortless. if your ex, like my ex, chooses not to see the child beacuse of the mother than that's there problem and only theirs. one day he'll realize his mistakes!!!

 

[lonelyandsad]

men are such jerks(sometimes)

ny-im going thru pretty much the same thing-my twin daughters father ahsnt paid support or contacted them since last summer.i dont have the time or money to keep dragging him into court.it is a bit hard for him to see them,he lives in minnesota,im in ny,but at least he could pick up the phone and call,or write them or something.ive never kept him from contacting the girls,he just chooses not to,which is sad.i guess his gf is more important then his daughters.oh well.its his loss.thank goodness i have a husband who loves them,and treats them like theyre his own daughters.he wants to adopt them,and im for it.good luck,and let us know how it goes.btw,happy early birthday.haley!